At the end, Nina said, “You did really well. Next time, you should bring your cell phone and record the steps. It’ll make it a lot easier for you to learn and remember.”

I felt ashamed. “My phone doesn’t have any video.” My mobile only had the most basic functions.

Nina hid her surprise. “We’ll use mine and you can watch it when you’re free in the studio. They won’t book you for private lessons for a while anyway.”

I perked up. “Really?”

“Of course not. You’ve got to learn the entire Bronze syllabus backward and forward, and you’ve also got to start learning some technique. Believe me, you’ll know the whole syllabus by the end of the month but the technique takes years.”

Katerina took over for the technique lesson. She slid her foot along the floor, pushing it into the ground with her foot turned out, her leg one long sinuous line.

“Push your foot forward, bring your weight with it, and then transfer your weight. No, too late.” She kept her hands on my hips. She was standing right behind me in the small ballroom again. “You are doing American-style Cuban motion here, so you have to transfer your weight, then move your hip, on the bent knee.”

This was even harder than learning steps. My entire body ached.

“You are trying too hard to use this,” she said, pointing to my head. “Turn off your brain and trust your body. You must learn with your body.”

That I could do. When I let go of my attempt at control, I could do what she was asking much more quickly. I took a deep breath and tried to find the silence inside that Godmother always spoke about.

Later that day, I sat in the ballroom at one of the small tables and really watched the lessons. I noticed when Nina had a couple who were beginners, because she was teaching them some of the same things I’d learned. I was surprised at how long it took them to cover one step. I took courage from this, and from the fact that I always saw the pros working by themselves in front of the mirrors. When they had a free moment, they were often walking, rolling their hips or doing turns by themselves in an empty spot.

While everyone else was teaching, I went to an unoccupied corner and started going over material I had learned that day. For the first time, I felt as if I might have a chance to actually be good at something. Like Godmother said, nothingness was the beginning of the universe.

Ten

Lisa and I sat together at our rickety table as the radiator hissed. I pulled the shawl more tightly around my shoulders. It was never very warm in our apartment. She’d printed out some practice questions for the test that she’d found on the Internet. We’d just looked at the reading passage together. I couldn’t seem to stop drumming my fingers on the tabletop. Now I read the first question. “The narrator can best be described as (a) curious; (b) antagonistic; (c) ambivalent; (d) miserable.”

Lisa said, “I think ‘(c) ambivalent.’ What do you think, Charlie?”

I coughed. “Honestly, I don’t know.” I’d had trouble reading the passage carefully in the amount of time we had.

“You don’t have to do this with me.”

“I want to.” It was my duty.

“I can tell this makes you so nervous, and I learn better on my own anyway. It sticks in my head that way.”

“Those friends of yours, like Hannah, have parents who help them. You don’t, you only have me. What is that other boy doing to prepare?”

“Fabrizio?” Lisa stared at her sheet of paper. I could see she’d lost weight in the past months. “He’s enrolled in a course.”

“For what?”

“To study for this test.”

“They have classes for that?”

She nodded. “He says there are loads of kids in his group and he gets hours of homework for it every week, but it’s really expensive. Hundreds of dollars.”

“Why would people pay so much?”

“Private school kids try to get in too. Their schools already charge tens of thousands each year for tuition. This is nothing to those students, especially if you consider how much they’d save if they were accepted.”

I hadn’t realized what we were up against. “That’s why I need to be here for you.”

“Charlie, you are helping me. By being my sister. Just let me study for this on my own. I know how, I promise.”

I couldn’t keep the relief from my voice. “Are you sure?”

She nodded.

“Maybe Uncle Henry could help you too.”

“We’re pretty busy at the clinic, Charlie.” She looked strained.

“I know, but he’s family. I’ll get Pa to ask him.”

Later, when she was asleep, I worked on the knitted scarf I was making for her present, since it was all I could do for her.

—

Although I was a dancer now, I approached the training with the steady dedication of the laborer that I was at heart. I practiced day and night. I danced so hard that even with the tape, my feet were often bleeding by the end of the night, but I was used to physical pain from the dishwashing. Even Dominic came up to me to say, “Make sure you rest sometimes.”

I would nod but as soon as he left, I’d start practicing again. I lived and breathed dancing. At first, I was embarrassed to watch myself in the mirror, but soon I stopped seeing myself. What I saw was the angle of my foot, the length of my arm, if my weight was pushing correctly into the floor, the rotation of my hip. I practiced my Latin walk with Cuban motion, pushing my feet through each step and rolling my hips. Once, I looked up to see all of the men in the ballroom staring at me before they turned away. But soon I stopped being conscious of other people watching. I grew aware of my entire body for the first time: my hands, my shoulders, my arms, my neck, my thighs. When I danced, I felt alive and free, like I was discovering my true self, that I was more than just a dishwasher from Chinatown.

—

As I passed Gossip Park, the music of a street band drifted to me. They were bundled up in the cold, yet playing with all their might. I closed my eyes for a moment and counted the music. It was a samba. I gazed up at the bare trees and it seemed to me the entire world was caught up in a dance of some kind. I stepped forward and did two quick turns, spotting the band as I did so. Then I looked around. Luckily, no one had noticed.

Godmother had told me I didn’t need to pick her up that Saturday, so I went to the Benevolent Association to meet her there for the tai chi class. To my surprise, the room was already fairly full when I entered and several of the tables had been put together in the center of the room to form one long table, with the chairs placed around it. They must have just had a family meeting of some kind. I spotted Mr. and Mrs. Yuan, Grace’s parents, who rarely went there. Two of Grace’s aunts were there as well. In fact, most of the people there seemed to be close relatives of her family. I wondered if Grace was in trouble.

Godmother’s face seemed tired. Grace’s parents nodded to me as they hurried out the door.

As I was hanging up my coat, I said to Godmother, “Is something wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nothing that need concern you. Won’t you please help clear the floor for our class?” Then she looked at me more carefully. I’d chosen to wear one of Adrienne’s T-shirts instead of my usual baggy one. It was dark green, with a low scoop neck. Godmother pursed her lips. “That doesn’t look like you, Charlie.”

I forced myself to meet her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” She laid her hand on my shoulder. “I’m worried about a family problem. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

I nodded and hurried away but it still hurt that Godmother didn’t like the way I was changing.

—

That Sunday, I woke in the middle of the night to find Pa gone. His bedroom door was ajar and his bed was empty. He wasn’t in the bathroom or kitchen. I began to gasp for air, imagining that Pa lay unconscious somewhere.