I nodded and followed her into his hospital room. I could not help but be reminded of Win and of Gable. Everywhere I went, I brought violence.

Theo was hooked up to a ventilator. Despite his tanned skin, he looked gray and bloodless. He couldn’t speak to me because of the tracheotomy but they had left a slate by his bed so that he could write messages. Anya, he wrote, I love you like my sister …

The stroke of his handwriting on the screen was weak.

I love you like my sister but you have to go. The man who did this …

I put my hand over his hand. I knew what he was trying to write. “The man who did this might come back to finish the job. Or a different man. You love me like your sister, but you love your family more. They aren’t safe as long as I’m here,” I said.

Theo nodded miserably. There were tears in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Theo. I’m so, so sorry. I’ll get my things and I’ll leave tonight.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. Where will you go? he wrote.

“Home,” I said. “I’m not sure I ever should have come here. I don’t think you can really run away from things. They tend to follow you.”

I am glad you came. Mi corazon es … The slate began to slip off the bed, and before I could catch it, it fell to the floor. Theo put his hand over my heart.

“I know, Theo,” I said. “Promise not to think about me anymore. I just want you to get well.”

Luz stayed at the hospital with her son. In the car, Luna barely spoke to me. I told myself she was tired.

When we arrived at Granja Mañana, Luna went to the kitchen to update her grandmothers on

Theo’s condition, and I went straight to my room to pack. I had arrived in Mexico with nothing and I was leaving with a mostly empty recipe book, a couple of letters, and a machete. I decided to burn the letters. I didn’t yet know how I’d be traveling and I didn’t want to implicate any of my friends if I should be arrested. I went down to the kitchen to ask for a match. Bisabuela was the only one there and she didn’t seem at all surprised by my request. She just said I should burn the letters in the stove. I lingered over Win’s letter but I still managed to burn it. The only one I decided to keep was Imogen’s. Here, I started to cry.

Bisabuela put her arm around me. “What is it, bebé?” she asked. She didn’t speak much English and I still didn’t speak much Spanish.

“My friend died,” I said.

“Theo is no dead. He is hurt, but will live.” I could see the confusion in her eyes.

“No, not Theo, someone else. Someone from mi casa”—I paused—“and I need to go home.” At that moment, Luna walked into the kitchen. “Anya, you can’t leave right now!”

I wanted to explain. I knew that if I explained, she would want me to go, too. But I had promised Theo. “I have to go.”

Luna crossed her arms. “How can you go right now? You have become like family to us. And while Theo is sick, you could help so much on the farm. Please, Anya.”

I told her that I had called home while we were waiting in the hospital and that someone in my family had died, and I needed to get back to New York immediately. All this was true, of course.

“Who in your family?” Luna demanded. “The woman who watches my sister.” “So not even your real family, then!”

I said nothing.

“If you leave right now, I will never forgive you! Theo will never forgive you either!” “Luna, Theo wants me to go.”

“What do you mean? He would never say that. You’re lying, Anya.”

“I’m not … The thing is, Theo said he understood that I needed to get back to the city.”

“You are a different kind of person than I thought you were,” Luna said. Her face was covered with tears and snot. I went over to her and tried to embrace her, but she pushed me away and then ran out of the kitchen. Bisabuela followed after her.

I went down the hall to Luz’s office to use her telephone. (I felt bad about the cost, but this was an emergency.) I called Yuji Ono again. He still didn’t pick up. Then I called Mr. Kipling. Simon Green answered the phone. “Anya, I’ve arranged for a private plane to meet you at the Tuxtla airport.”

“A private plane? Isn’t that expensive?”

“Yes, but there was no other way that was quick. You don’t have identification and even if you did, the nearest airport to you doesn’t have regular flights to the States, and honestly, this is the best I could do on short notice. You’ll be flying into the airport on Long Island. When you land, I’ll be there to meet you. If the authorities have become aware of your movements, you may be arrested, but I thought we had a better chance of avoiding that by flying into Long Island.”

“Yes, of course. Have you talked to Leo? Or Yuji Ono?” I asked.

“I’ve been trying Yuji Ono but I haven’t gotten him yet,” Simon Green said. “I’ll keep trying. Anya, how are you?”

“I’m…” I couldn’t come up with an answer. “I want to see Natty.”

I hung up with Simon Green and then I dialed Yuji Ono again. I was about to despair when Yuji finally answered. “Hello, Anya,” he said. His manner seemed awkward but I didn’t know if that was because of the conversation we’d had the last time we met.

“Why haven’t you been picking up your phone?” “I have been occupied with—”

I realized that I didn’t care what he’d been doing. “I need to know if Leo is okay,” I said. For a second, Yuji didn’t answer me. “There was an explosion.”

“An explosion? What kind of explosion?”

“A car bomb. I am sorry, Anya. Your brother’s girlfriend was hurt very badly, and—”

“What about Leo?”

“I am sorry, Anya. He is dead.”

Oddly, I knew I was not going to cry. Some once fleshy part of me had turned to bone, and I was no longer capable of such displays. “Was it you, Yuji? Did you plan all of this? Just because I wouldn’t marry you? Was it you?”

“It was not me,” Yuji said.

“I don’t believe you. No one else had the information. No one else knew where I was and where Leo was. No one except you!”

“There were others, Anya. Think about it.”

I couldn’t think. Leo was dead. Imogen was dead. Someone had tried to kill Natty and me. Theo was gravely injured because he had gotten in the way of a bullet meant for me.

“Say who you mean.”

“I choose not to speculate. I can only say that it was not me,” Yuji repeated, “but I did not intervene to stop these events from happening either.”

“Are you saying that you let my brother die? That you would have let me die, too?” “I said what I meant. I am very sorry for your loss.”

I hung up on him. I was sorry, too. If it turned out he had killed my brother, Yuji Ono would have to die.

THE PLANE WAS BARELY larger than a bucket, and the ride was bumpy. Though I hadn’t slept for over twenty-four hours, my mind would not rest. I couldn’t stop thinking of Leo and every time he’d ever asked to come with me and I’d refused him. I’d been the one to send him to Japan. Had that been a mistake? Why had I ever trusted Yuji Ono? How could Leo be dead when we hadn’t spoken in almost ten months? None of this seemed possible.

My eyelids would begin to flutter shut, and it would seem as if unconsciousness might temporarily absolve my guilty conscience. That was when I’d start thinking of Imogen. When Nana had died, I had accused Imogen of unspeakable acts. Imogen, who’d done nothing but take care of Nana and Natty and me. And now Imogen was dead. Dead because of us.

I’d think of Theo. They’d said he was stable, but he could still die. What would they do on that farm without him? Theo ran that place, and because of me, he wouldn’t be able to do that for a very long time. And then my thoughts would return to my brother. I began to feel as if I would never sleep again.