“Ethan, please tell me.” I tried to calm down, knowing he wouldn’t give me an answer if I was acting like a raving lunatic.

“Why did you come out here?” he asked, ignoring my plea.

“Answer my question first.”

He punched the side of the cottage. “Damn it, Sam. Obviously, it took some pretty heavy stuff to bring you back. It’s nothing I want to relive, and, believe me, you don’t want the details.”

I sighed. At least I was making some progress. I decided to answer his question. “Dylan tapped on the bedroom window, and when I saw him, I freaked out. I had just gotten dressed. I figured he saw the whole thing, and it really set me off. I ran out here, and I slapped him in the face and punched him in the gut.”

“Groin,” Ethan said. “Always knee to the groin. The scumbag deserved it.”

“He said he didn’t see me get dressed.”

“Don’t be naïve, Sam. Of course he saw you, but he wouldn’t admit it.”

“Listen, I know it was stupid, but I just reacted.”

“You’re being reckless. This isn’t like you. You were always so levelheaded.”

“That’s because I was sick.” Tears welled up in my eyes. “When you’re dying at seventeen, you tell yourself whatever you can to not be pissed off at the world. I’m done with that now. All this stuff that’s been happening, I don’t deserve this. I shouldn’t get crap like this to deal with after everything I’ve been through.”

His face fell. The anger left completely. He looked hurt, heartbroken. “You’re unhappy here.”

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

“Yes, it is. I brought you back and tried to give you the life you wanted, the life you should’ve had in the first place, but you’re miserable.”

“No, Ethan, listen to me.”

“You hate school. You hate the cottage. Your ring is missing, and the only thing that’s made you happy was a stupid necklace I didn’t even give you. He did.”

“That’s not true, and we don’t know if he gave me the necklace.”

“He’s a freaking peeping Tom, Sam. Open your eyes. He’s been following you around at school, at work, and here.” Ethan was yelling, but I knew I wasn’t the one he was mad at. He was angry with himself. He thought he’d failed in his attempt to make things better for me. He blamed himself for my unhappiness.

I launched myself at him, pressing my lips against his. He stumbled backward at first, not sure why I was kissing him when he was yelling at me. I opened my eyes and looked at him, not taking my mouth from his. His features softened, and he kissed me back. I didn’t let up. I wanted to stop thinking about everything. I wanted him to realize I was happy with him. He was everything to me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he picked me up by the waist. My legs wound around his waist as we walked back into the cottage. Ethan locked the door, but we didn’t pull apart for a second. We went straight to the bedroom, and he laid me down on the bed. I had more questions I needed answered, but they were going to have to wait. Right now all I wanted was Ethan.

I woke up with the first rays of sun shining in the window. I used to sleep in on Sundays. Mom would go to the deli and get fresh bagels for breakfast. Ethan always got a cinnamon-toast bagel, but I didn’t care for the sweet flavors. I liked salt bagels. They made my mouth pucker, but it was nothing a little coffee couldn’t cure. Mom preferred sesame, and Dad liked poppy seed. We each had our own tastes. I lay in bed wondering what Mom and Dad were doing this morning. Had they carried on the Sunday bagel tradition after I died, or had the tradition died with me?

Ethan rolled over and propped his head up in his hand. “Morning.”

“Good morning.”

“Did you sleep okay?”

“Great, actually.” I snuggled into him, feeling his bare chest against my cheek. I wasn’t sure what I’d been so scared of when it came to being with Ethan. I mean, he was Ethan. I should’ve known it would be amazing.

“We have plenty of time before work today,” he said. “It’s not even seven yet. What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. What’s there to do around here?”

Ethan smiled, and I could tell an idea was forming in his head. “It’s supposed to be hot again today, and I know the perfect way to spend the morning.”

“How?”

He sprang out of bed. “Can’t tell you. It’s a surprise, but you’ll need your bathing suit, sunblock, and sunglasses.”

“We’re going swimming?”

“Only if you fall in.” He wagged his eyebrows at me as he disappeared from the room. I heard him singing in the bathroom. Ethan wasn’t exactly a great singer, but the bands he listened to were more into yelling than singing anyway. I laughed to myself as I got ready, layering shorts and a tank top over my bikini.

Ethan was ready two minutes later. I was never going to figure out how that boy could get dressed so quickly. I was tempted to see if there was a world record for it, because he’d probably be a shoo-in. I took a few minutes longer to brush my teeth and pull my hair into a ponytail. When I was finished, Ethan handed me a granola bar while he scarfed down a protein bar.

“Come on. It’s going to get crowded quickly. I want to be one of the first ones there.”

“And where exactly is there?”

“You’ll have to wait and be surprised.”

We drove about twenty minutes down the road and pulled into a canoe rental place.

“We’re going canoeing?” I’d never done it, but I’d always wanted to.

“Yup. Nothing beats canoeing down the Delaware River.”

“You’ve done it before?”

“Sort of. My uncle took me. He did most of the rowing, but I think I can handle it.”

Ethan paid the woman at the counter, telling her we’d be out for about three hours. That meant we’d be going to the diner all nice and sweaty. Oh well. I didn’t care. Canoeing sounded great.

As we brought the canoe down to the boat launch, an awful thought struck me. I was going to be trapped on a canoe with Ethan for hours. Normally, that would have been heaven, but what if I had an attack? I didn’t think I’d have the strength to dive overboard and swim away from Ethan. I’d tried to stay away from the storage facility manager, and that hadn’t worked. The urge to live was too strong, and no matter how much I didn’t want to kill, my survival instincts took over, forcing me to do what was necessary for me to survive.

“What’s wrong?” Ethan asked.

I realized I’d stopped walking. I had to get out of this. “Um, I’m not feeling so good all of a sudden.”

“You’re kidding, right?” He put the canoe down and felt my forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

“My stomach is doing flips.” That was true. I was nervous and sick to my stomach with the thought of possibly hurting Ethan. “I’m not sure being out on the water, rocking in a canoe, is the best thing for it right now.”

He looked crushed.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said, but I could hear the disappointment in his voice. “Wait here. I’ll go return the canoe and get our money back. Sit and relax until I’m done.”

I sat down on the sand, feeling awful about all of this. I couldn’t even have a nice morning on the water with my boyfriend. This sickness was ruining everything.

“Good call,” came a voice behind me.

I turned around. Dylan.

I sprang to my feet. “I told you to leave me alone.”

“Do you really want me to do that? You didn’t go out on the water with your boyfriend, so obviously you don’t trust yourself.”

“Stop it! Stop pretending you know everything about me, and stop following me. If Ethan comes out here and sees you…”

“Are you worried for me? Don’t want your boyfriend to beat me up again?”

“I don’t care about you at all. I don’t want Ethan to be upset.”

“He never asked you what you wanted, did he? I mean, before he brought you back.”

My lungs stopped working. Dylan didn’t just know about me killing people. He knew Ethan had brought me back from the dead.