Jax surprises me by sitting back down and telling Kohen, “Sorry for crashing your date. I had to make sure your intentions were good. I promise we won’t crash the next one.” I can’t help but notice that there isn’t an ounce of jealously seeping through his voice. Maybe I imagined the jealousy earlier? I mask my disappointment with a smile.
“Assuming there’s a next one,” I accidentally say out loud.
There’s no point in pretending when there isn’t a spark between us. Kohen was a fun distraction before the guys showed up, I’ll give him that.
“Oh, there will be,” Kohen says with a twinkle in his eyes.
Jax turns and gives me his full attention. “Are you ever going to forgive me?” he asks sweetly.
So sweetly I almost break. Key word . . . almost. Then I realize he’s asking about more than just tonight. Maybe it’s wishful thinking on my part, but I honestly believe he’s asking if I’ll ever forgive him for not stepping up. That’s something I can’t forgive. Instead of saying exactly that, I play along more for the benefit of everyone else.
“That depends . . . can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t do this again?”
He doesn’t even seem a little guilty when he answers, “Nope.”
Fixing my eyes solely on his, I abandon my mask so he can see I’m talking about more than tonight. “Then nope, sorry Jax, that’s just something I can’t forgive. Pretending just doesn’t do it for me.”
Connor attempts to break the tension bubbling between us. Too bad his joke is told to deaf ears. The only thing I can hear is my heart beating too rapidly. Something that happens quite often when I’m near The God.
Connor and Logan linger around our table, clearly ready to take off, but Jax doesn’t notice. As much as I know giving into him will make Jax leave, I can’t. I stand my guard. “How can I possibly forgive something that you don’t even realize that you’re doing?”
Jax stretches his arm and drapes it over my shoulder. I notice Kohen tense in my peripheral. “Stop speaking riddles and tell me what’s wrong.”
I want to scream in frustration. I want to scream that he’s the problem. I want to shout that I love him. Instead I say, “Let’s just pretend I said I forgive you so you’ll leave me to my handsome date.” I give Kohen the same sweet smile Jax gave me seconds ago.
“Ads—” He starts, but stops. I would give anything to know what he’s thinking right now.
Jax pulls me into his side and kisses the top of my head. My entire body is on fire. All I want is Jax. Kohen tenses again so I pull away. So not cool to have another guy kiss me even if it’s as innocent as Jax kissing the top of my head. Which if I’m being honest with myself, I wish the kiss was anything but innocent.
“Bye Jax,” I say breathlessly.
Looking directly at Kohen he says, “Bye Ads. See you tomorrow night.”
I rub the bridge of my nose. Only Jax would act like an ass when he crashes my date. Games. That’s all this is to him. Since the beginning, all I’ve ever been is a game to him. I finally go out on a date and he crashes it just because he can. Jax believes he can do whatever he pleases. I wish I could tell myself that I’m done with him and his games, but that would be the biggest lie. I doubt I’ll ever give up hope on us.
“Ignore him,” I tell Kohen once they leave.
“Well tonight didn’t go as I expected.”
I force out a laugh, understatement of the year.
“It was still amazing though,” Kohen goes on. “I can’t wait to take you out again, Ads.”
“Adalynn,” I say automatically.
“I’m sorry, I just thought since Jax called you Ads and your brother and Connor call you Addie that you prefer a nickname.”
Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut? “Sorry it’s just . . . just something that only Jax can call me.” So not true, but I don’t want to dwell on the fact that the only other person who can call me Ads is dead.
Kohen studies the dessert menu. “It’s okay, Adalynn,” he says quietly.
He sounds as if I wounded him. I can’t even pretend to care. Ads is off-limits to everyone, that will never change. It’s better for him to accept this now.
“I’m sorry, it’s something I can’t really explain. You can call me whatever you want, just not Ads.”
“And will you ever tell me why? If not, it’s okay.”
For some unknown reason, I tell him as much of the truth as I can. “There’s stuff about me that you don’t know, things that are too heavy for a first date.”
“Heavier than my mom?”
I can only nod.
“Okay, so Ads is off the table. Don’t worry I’ll think of a nickname for you that only I can use.”
“I would like that.” I lie because I have no idea what to say.
The waitress surprises Kohen by informing us that the check has already been paid. I would have been surprised if Logan didn’t pay it, he can’t help himself. Kohen’s jaw tightens and his gaze becomes hard for a second before he relaxes and is back to the sweet man he was a second ago. I ignore that he’s bothered by my brother paying for our meal. I shake my head. Men. No wonder why us women are the superior sex.
When we get back into the car, the wine kicks in and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open. About a block away from the restaurant, Kohen reaches over and start to run his fingers over my hand.
Suddenly Kohen is taking my off seatbelt. I realize that we’re back in the parking garage. Crap, I slept the entire ride home, I’m the world’s worst date.
“Sorry I didn’t realize that I was so tired,” I say as Kohen helps me out of the car.
He brushes the hair from my face and gives me a quick peck on the lips. “There, all better.”
All I can do is stare wide-eyed at him. I can’t believe he just kissed me. I touch my still, tingling lips. I’ve only ever had Jax’s lips on mine. I feel as if I betrayed what we had somehow. I follow Kohen to the elevator banks on the ground floor of the parking lot. When it arrives, he holds his hand in front of the doors and lets me go in first. He presses the button for my floor.
Not wanting to do the awkward goodbye at my door, I stand on my tiptoes, and kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks for tonight,” I whisper into his ear before walking out of the elevator and down the hallway to my apartment.
I unlock my door and throw my clutch at the wall. Tonight didn’t go as planned. At least Liv will be happy. She’ll be thrilled with all the changes in my life: the camera, the date, sticking up for myself. That’s something, I guess. I wish I could at least fake happiness, but my mood is anything but happy. I feel more disappointed with tonight’s events. I was sure Jax would be raging in jealousy. I need to stop expecting too much from him.
I stumble to my bedroom. Too exhausted to wash my face, I strip out of my clothes and crawl into bed naked. Curled up in bed, I think about everything that Kohen said to me. I know it must have taken a lot to open up about his mom, especially in front of the boys. The trust that he has given me tonight makes me want to throw up.
I used him to make someone jealous and he’s genuinely interested in me. I have to be the worst person in the history of the world.
Chapter Seven
I wipe my sweaty forehead before I toss the paper towel in the trashcan. The rich fragrance of sweets fill the hot air. I love the back room, well except for tonight, as the air-conditioner stopped working an hour ago. Thank goodness it was close to closing, or customers would not have wanted to eat their treats here on this humid June evening.
“Bye guys,” I say to Sam and Clark before leaving.
“Bye sweetie,” Sam yells back.
Clark rushes over in his white apron with the twins’ handprints on it and gives me a hug. “Those new cupcakes are amazing. And that frosting . . . Mmm, it’s to die for. One of these days I’m going to force you to show me your magic.” He squeezes my hand. “Seriously, Addie, you have a wonderful gift in the kitchen. Sam is adding them to the menu!”