It’s been 3 weeks & I still can’t stop thinking about you. If you feel the same, let’s see where this can go.

-K. D.

He sent me the flowers. Wow, I never would have guessed that. God, I’m such a bitch! I wonder if I should call him to apologize for yesterday, but decide against it. I don’t want to give him the wrong idea. I’m not interested and it’s better for him to learn that now then think he has a chance. Even if Jax wasn’t in the picture —well he’s not technically— I still wouldn’t give him a chance. Sure, I’m attracted to him, what woman wouldn’t be? But it doesn’t change anything. My heart will forever belong to Jaxon Chandler.

I get up and take a quick shower. Taking advantage of the perfect weather, I choose one of my favorite sundresses with a cutout heart on the back and my beige Steve Madden’s to complete the look. I curl a few pieces of my naturally curly hair, apply mascara, add a light coat of rose color lipstick, and I’m ready to go. After retrieving my phone off the nightstand, I pick up Kohen’s note and slip it into my purse.

Deciding to skip breakfast and buy a smoothie, I’m almost ready to leave when I spot the camera bag Jax bought me. Without over-thinking it, I quickly grab it and walk out the door.

Smoothie in hand, I browse at a few stores to buy supplies for Logan’s surprise party. Two hours later, I have everything that Jax and I will need, and much more. I’d rather be overly prepared than realize too late that we’re missing something. I want the party to be perfect for Logan. He deserves it.

After a cab ride back to my place, I drop off the bags in the living room and close the door. I’ll put everything away later, it’s too nice of a day out to be stuck inside. Looking to kill an hour until I meet the boys, I head over to Central Park with my camera bag still in hand.

Cedar Hill is my all-time favorite place in New York. I always come here when I feel like the world is crumbling down on me, so it’s the perfect place for today, even though I doubt I’ll be able to take any pictures. I play with the zipper and remember the first time my dad bought me a camera. He wanted me to try to get into something other than swimming. Apparently it’s important to have more than one thing to love.

If only he could see me now.

With shaking hands, I reach in and grasp my new camera. I have so many mixed emotions right now. I want to remember how I’ve felt being behind the lens, how I share the same passion as my dad had, but I can’t help feeling guilty.

The last time I ever held a camera was the last day I ever saw my family. If I take a picture, I won’t be able to share it with my dad anymore. I don’t know if I’m ready to move on with this chapter in my life yet. The day my dad took me to buy my first camera was one of my favorite times with him. He was able to see that I was missing a creative outlet, even if I didn’t see it myself.

I’m afraid that if I pick up this camera, I won’t feel the same, everything will be different, and I will lose what my dad gave me that day. I don’t want to taint that memory with my demons.

Another fifteen minutes pass before I’m finally able to talk myself into capturing one simple picture. I can take one picture without ruining everything. I stand up and examine the area. I spot a butterfly landing on a flower a few yards away. Bringing the camera up to my face I focus on the scene before me. With a shaky breath, I press the button to forever imprison the image before me. As I view the digital photo, I feel a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I’ve just found a piece to my soul again.

Without realizing it, I start snapping away. I capture the scenery, a couple holding hands, and an older woman reading a book underneath a tree. I click until the memory card is full. As I put away the camera, my phone rings. Startled, I notice that two hours have flown by and I have several missed calls from Logan and Connor.

Crap, I’m so late. I jog towards the exit to catch a cab.

After sitting in traffic, I’m at the boys’ office in Manhattan with our burgers. I promise the security guards that I’ll bring them cupcakes from the bakery tomorrow before I swipe my ID to access the elevators.

Gloria, Connor’s assistant, stops me from entering my brother’s office. “Hi Addie, Mr. Evans informed me that you will be having lunch in his office today. Your brother will join you two shortly.”

“Thanks Gloria. Have a great day!” I say before opening Connor’s door.

Ignoring the fact that Connor is on the phone, I whisper, “Mr. Evans, your lunch has arrived.”

Connor holds up his index finger, the universal sign for one minute. “Are you the boss or am I?”

I cringe, I know that tone. I feel bad for whoever is on the other line. Giving him a knowing look, I steal two waters for Connor and I, and a Gatorade for Logan from his fridge. Setting them down on his glass coffee table, I open up the bags. I place Connors burger and fries in front of him before drawing mine out of the bag.

“Exactly. So either do what I pay you for or I will find someone else to do your job.” He eats a fry. “Last time I checked, it’s not my problem. It’s yours.”

I shake my head and mouth “be nice” to him which he ignores.

“I expect a copy on my desk by the time I walk in tomorrow morning.” He hangs up without waiting for a response.

“I’m so glad that you’re basically my brother,” I state as he joins me on the couch.

“Me too, if I wasn’t, you wouldn’t have a cool brother,” Connor says with a mouth full of fries. “You know you would love to work for me.”

I ignore his last comment. This isn’t the first time he’s suggested it.

“If you have to say you’re ‘cool,’ you really aren’t.” Connor waves me off and digs into his burger. By dig in, I mean devour. He’s done with his burger before I’m able to take more than three bites.

“Someone was hungry.”

“I may have worked through breakfast,” Connor says with a shrug.

I don’t say anything back. There’s no point reminding him that he has an assistant that can order him breakfast. We’ve had that talk so many times I’m tempted to record myself reminding him how important it is too eat just so I don’t have to repeat the speech. Connor takes being a workaholic to a whole new level. He practically lives out of his office. He has a suite discreetly tucked away to the right of his desk that he uses regularly.

For some reason I think about the note from Kohen that is burning a hole through my purse. I want to get Connor’s opinion on the Kohen thing before Logan comes in because I know my brother will make a big deal out of nothing. I open my mouth to bring it up, but quickly close it. I don’t even know where to start, until now, I haven’t been interested in anyone but Jax.

I thought I didn’t want to see where things could go with Kohen, hence me being a complete bitch to him the other day, but after using the camera Jax bought me, I have a new urge to take Liv’s advice. I need to live again. And it’s not like Jax will be my boyfriend anytime soon. Maybe it’s time to see what else is out there. I fiddle with the straps of my purse, coming up with a brilliant idea. If I have Connor, the man whore, help me, maybe Jax will find out. I wonder if he’ll be grateful that I’m not lusting after him anymore or if he’ll be jealous. I hope for the latter.

When I peek at Connor, he’s already staring at me with his eyebrow raised. I reach into my purse and hand him the note. After reading it, he passes it back to me without saying a word. I swear, he constantly makes me want to give him a high-five in the face! Glaring at him I return the note to my purse.

“Really, you’re not going to say anything?”

He leans back onto to the couch, and stretches his feet in front of him. “What would you like me to say, Addie?”

I could smack him right now. I’m tempted to just drop it and ask Logan. Who am I kidding, that’s not an option and Connor knows it. He’s my only option since there’s no way I can ask Jax. Ha! I’d rather get my brother’s advice. And Logan wouldn’t give me any advice, he would lock me in a tower, away from the much older doctor.