I need to remain cool and detached, just like I would with any potential sub, but damn if I don’t want to collar her and drag her back to my bed and fuck her senseless.

Rising from the table, I walk slowly and deliberately toward her. Macey’s eyes widen and her mouth opens as if she wants to say something, but just as quickly she closes it and lets me take her hand, escorting her away from the hostess and toward our table. Before pulling out her chair, I lean in close and drop my voice to a whisper.

“Tonight, I’m going to treat you as I would any other sub. Which means I’m in charge, and you will do as I ask. Any complaints or issues with that, Pancake?” My voice is calm and steady, and Macey takes note.

She shakes her head, wisely choosing to remain silent. When I pull out her chair, she gracefully lowers herself into her seat, and I can’t help but notice how sexy she looks wearing a black minidress and matching six-inch heels. Damn. The little girl I once knew has definitely grown up. She’s a fucking bombshell.

Before we have the chance to settle in, the waitress approaches the table, looking between us. Her gaze lingers on me long enough that Macey rolls her eyes.

“Are you out for a special occasion?” the waitress asks.

I glance at Macey and fight off a smirk. “You could say that.”

“Anything other than the wine, miss?” the waitress asks Macey.

“This is great, thank you.” Her eyes lock on me when she answers, as if she’s already a sub in my care, looking for guidance and direction. My cock twitches under the table.

“I’ll just give you a minute with the menus then,” the waitress says, then scampers off.

I pour Macey a glass of red wine and set it in front of her. Her shoulders are stiff, and she’s clutching the menu so hard her knuckles are white. Remembering that it’s my job to set her at ease, I glance up at her over my menu. “I forgot to ask earlier, how’s your nana?”

The mood relaxes instantly, and she smiles up at me. “She’s good. She’ll be eighty-one this year. Cam and I want to plan her a big party with all of her friends from the retirement community.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Oh, you know, tapioca pudding and Polka music. It’ll be off the hook.”

Her smile is sunny and bright, and I can’t help but chuckle at her. She’s so strong and well-adjusted, despite losing her parents at such a tender age. It’s just one of the many things I admire about Macey.

“Tonight we’ll discuss the parameters of your training.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yes, my sexless BDSM training. Sounds like a blast.”

“That’s your brother’s request, not mine.”

“It’s not his business who I let near my vagina, Reece. We both know that. I’m an adult now.”

A woman at the neighboring table is staring at us, so I lean closer to Macey. “Keep your voice down,” I remind her. “We don’t want to attract an audience.” I might be good fodder for Chicago’s gossip websites, but I’d rather keep my private life private.

She rolls her eyes. “I’m serious about this. I told you what I wanted. You’ve told me what my brother wants. But what do you want?”

I pull a deep breath into my lungs and study the woman seated before me. What do I want? That’s the million-dollar question.

Ever since Macey so casually strolled out of my life without so much as a backward glance, things turned to shit. My parents divorced after twenty-three years of marriage, each moving to opposite coasts. My dad is in New Jersey with his brothers and family, while my mom is trying to recapture her youth, living in Redondo Beach and dating a surf instructor.

Meanwhile, I quietly built my business, casually experimenting with submissives to pass the time, never giving thought to what I really want. And now it seems I have the chance to do that. But wanting something and taking what you shouldn’t have are two different things. Just because my body wants the physical pleasure that being with Macey would provide, does that make it right? I’m sure Hale won’t think so. Maybe I was stupid to ask his permission. Now that I have his parameters, doesn’t that make it worse when I take her anyway?

“I promised your brother there wouldn’t be any sexual contact in these lessons,” I repeat. Maybe if I say it enough times, it’ll get easier to swallow, but I doubt it.

“Where’s the fun in that?” She’s pouting, actually fucking pouting those pretty pink lips at me. Those lips that I’ve imagined wrapped around my cock since the day she arrived.

I lean closer and tuck a lock of auburn hair behind her ear. “I know, sweetheart, but I’m trying here. I’m trying to instruct you, and also be a good friend to Hale.”

“What Hale doesn’t know won’t hurt him. We’re both grown-ups, right?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t your lessons usually involve sex?”

“Yes,” I say, unequivocally. Fuck. Yes.

“Well, I want my junk touching your junk. Do you want that too?”

“Yeah,” I choke out. Did she just say junk?

“Okay then, it’s settled. Three lessons. Our genitals will be friends, and that’s it. At the end of it, we part ways.”

That’s what I’m afraid of.

I take a deep breath, steeling my resolve. I have to stick to the terms of our agreement—three lessons. Three opportunities to show Macey who’s in charge. There can be no emotional ties. No, this will be all about the physical.

Even if my heart wanted her at one time, things have changed. My faith in love has been all but obliterated, initially by my own first love, then by watching my parents’ marriage dissolve into a nasty battle. Later it was further damaged by witnessing my best friend’s betrayal by the woman he gave his heart to. I’ve been successful at completely tuning it all out, allowing me to become the man I am today.

The only kind of relationship I want is the kind where naked women trust me with their willing bodies and curious minds. I live for that hazy, disoriented sub-space look in their eyes after a particularly intense scene. The one that tells me they idolize my very existence and will do anything I command. I feel ten feet tall in those moments, like a pure sex god built for doling out pleasure and punishment.

Taking Macey to that place is something I’ve fantasized about, but never thought I’d make a reality. Do I dare go there with the woman who once owned me so completely?

You bet your sweet ass I’m going to. You only live once, right? There’s a saying for this . . . carpe diem or something. Seize the day, I think. Macey is giving me her submission on a silver platter, and what happens behind closed doors will be our business. Hale doesn’t call all the shots, even if he likes to think he does.

Leaning forward with my elbows on the table, I lift my gaze to Macey’s. “What I want, sweetheart is you naked, bound, and spread open before me, your wrists laced together with my rope, your ankles pinned with my spreader bar. Your cunt waiting for me to fill it. You will be used as I see fit. Do you understand?”

Her quick inhalation of breath signals this is an idea she finds appealing, which only excites me more. I have to remind myself to keep detached.

“Will I be gagged?” she asks.

“No.” I smile at her. “You won’t be gagged. I’ll want to hear all the pretty whimpers and cries falling from your mouth.”

“And what about you?” she asks. “Will I be able to touch you? Kiss you?”

My own heart rate spikes despite the calm, cool demeanor I’m struggling to keep in place. “Do you want those things?”

Nodding eagerly, she meets my stare. “I think you know I do.”

“I don’t know you anymore, Macey. You keep forgetting that. You’ve walked back in my life like we can pick up right where we left off, but we’ve both changed.”

She watches me for a few quiet moments, as if she wants to disagree. “You never answered the question.” A smile twitches on her mouth.