—Capital Confessions blog

Gray

She’d gutted me. Utterly. Completely. Three days later, I still felt raw inside. It was like Blair had scooped everything out of me with each word that had fallen from her lips, with the touch of her hands on my face, the compassion in her eyes.

I’d thought she was dangerous before when she’d consumed my dreams and fantasies. My near constant arousal at the sight of her had at least been manageable. This was an ache my hand couldn’t erase.

You can be more. You just have to try.

I opened the door to the classroom, stepped over the threshold, and stopped in my tracks.

I hadn’t seen Blair since our school visit last week. I’d barely slept last night, wondering what it would feel like to see her after the kiss and the words she’d given me.

She sat in her usual seat, talking to the guy next to her who did crossword puzzles when he thought I wasn’t looking. Since he sat next to Blair, I was always looking.

Her hair was up in a high ponytail that swung when she spoke, falling in a cascade of brown silk. She was dressed casually in a pink sweater and jeans, but somehow she still managed to not look like everyone else. Everything about her outfit, her beauty, was pure class.

Usually when I saw her, my dick stood at attention. And like always, it did now. But not before I felt a pang in my chest, like someone had punched me over my pec.

And then her head turned, as though she knew, as if a string connected her to my heart.

Her smile hit me first.

She’d never smiled at me in class before, not even that first day. It wasn’t a big smile, just a small curve of her lips meant only for me. But fuck if it didn’t have my lips spreading, giving it back to her.

I didn’t move. Couldn’t move. Just stood there smiling at her. A flush spread over her cheeks, and then I had to move, because I was standing in front of seventy-five students, wearing a suit, sporting some serious wood.

Fuck me.

I turned, praying my erection would go down, and fled to the safety of the desk at the front of the classroom. I rarely taught sitting, figured if I was going to make my students stand it was only fair that I did the same. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’d used this desk to hide several Blair Reynolds–induced hard-ons throughout the semester.

No wonder she’d looked at me like I was crazy when I’d told her I was worried I’d taken advantage of her. She led me around by my dick, and I was beginning to think she knew it.

I sat down in the chair, organizing my papers, commanding myself not to look at her. I cleared my throat, and then my head rose, and seventy-five pairs of eyes stared back at me.

“Welcome back. I hope everyone had a good weekend. Can anyone tell me the elements of battery according to the Second Restatement of Torts? Mr. Casimi?”

Blair

He didn’t call on me the entire class.

I didn’t know how long my reprieve would last, but for now I was eternally grateful. I wasn’t sure I was ready to stand in front of the class while he spoke to me. Not after everything.

The rest of the school visit had gone well, mainly because I’d done everything I could to keep from touching him or looking at him. It was so much harder to resist the impulse when I was a captive audience and he stood in front of me for an hour.

He had a seriously impressive collection of suits, and this one was no exception. Today’s ensemble was dark gray wool with a light blue dress shirt and a dark blue silk tie. The blues complemented his tanned skin and dark hair. Unfortunately, they also made me want to grab hold of his tie and make out with his mouth. For once, I envied Adam and his crossword puzzle. I needed the distraction.

A message from Caitlin popped up in my computer screen. Even though we technically weren’t supposed to, most people messaged during class. According to the syllabi in all of our classes, it was “prohibited,” but it was one of those things everyone ignored. I’d once seen Adam have the answer to a question our professor asked him messaged to him. I was pretty sure the professors turned a blind eye to it, but I was still too paranoid to chat. I’d gotten rid of some of my “good girl” tendencies, but old habits die hard and all that. But then I read Caitlin’s message and I couldn’t resist.

Is it just me or does Professor Canter actually look happy today? Bet someone got laid this weekend.

My cheeks flamed as I thanked the seating gods for organizing the room in an oval that faced the front. The last thing I needed was Caitlin seeing my reaction. She was right, he did seem happier today. Almost normal. And he’d smiled at me. Actually smiled.

My computer screen lit up with another message from Caitlin.

Bet he’s a beast in bed.

I closed my eyes, wishing I could unsee the entire conversation. After that kiss, I could definitively confirm that he would indeed be a beast in bed. And just like that, I was turned on. In fucking torts.

I didn’t answer her, wasn’t sure I trusted myself enough to even attempt a conversation on the subject of Gray’s sex life. Crap. Professor Canter. Had to remember to call him Professor Canter.

Oh fuck me, I was done.

I leaned forward over my desk, pushing my laptop back, resting my arms against the wood. My head came down as I barely resisted the urge to bang my head against the hard surface. I needed something to jar me out of a string of sexual fantasies, each one dirtier than the last.

The administration really should have done a better job vetting their professors. The vast majority looked like a cross between Santa Claus and an elf. That I got stuck with the teacher who was a panty-dropper was too cruel for words. At this point, passing the class at all would be a win.

I lifted my head from the desk, my gaze immediately connecting with Gray’s. He quirked a brow at me, and then I watched as his eyes flared with heat. Oh god. The look was only there for a second and then he shut it down, but a second was all it took for my body to react.

For me to want.

*   *   *

“What was up with Canter today?” Adam asked as we walked out of class. “I think he actually smiled at me when he walked into the room.”

I struggled to keep my face neutral, to steady my voice as I responded. To act like that smile hadn’t been for me.

“Really? I didn’t notice.”

He nodded. “Yeah, it was weird. He actually seemed normal.”

“Maybe he’s mellowing now that the semester’s halfway over,” I suggested, wanting to abandon this subject quickly.

Adam followed me to my locker where I dumped my torts book and grabbed the dreaded con law behemoth. They were both red, large enough to double as a deadly weapon if aimed at your head, and boring as hell. It was weird to have lockers at twenty-three, but I was pretty sure they did it to stave off the number of potential back injuries. With textbooks as big as these, lockers were necessities.

Adam waited as I switched out books for my next classes. He was close enough that I could make out the scent of his cologne. His blond hair was disheveled in a classically preppy way, his lanky frame clothed in khakis and a navy sweater.

He didn’t take his gaze off me the entire time I fumbled with my combination, each moment that passed making me a bit more uncomfortable.

I liked Adam a lot, but sometimes I worried that he looked at me differently than he did Caitlin and some of the other girls. Just like he was looking at me now.

He grinned at me, his dimples making him seem even younger. We were the same age, but something about him screamed “boy” rather than “man.”

“Do you want to grab dinner together one night?” He hesitated. “Just the two of us?”

And there it was. Inwardly, I winced.