“Fuck, Evie, I’ve missed this. Missed feeling you come on me. Squeeze my cock, baby. Let me feel it again. Let me feel you.”

And then his fingers were strumming my clit, and he navigated my body so expertly, it was like no time at all had passed since we’d last been together. He took me where he wanted me to go, played me how I needed it—fast then slow then faster yet. Played me how he needed it, too, so he could bring us to the edge at the same time. And then I was screaming and coming around him and he was groaning my name as we both fell into that blissful void together.

Chapter Thirteen

RILEY

Even though I didn’t want to, even though I wanted to stay inside her, wait until I got hard again and fuck her all over again, I gripped the base of my cock, holding the condom in place—thanking God I’d had one in my wallet—as I pulled out of her, groaning at the loss of her heat.

After placing a soft kiss on her shoulder, I walked to the bathroom to get cleaned up before heading back to her. She’d moved away from the wall, but her back was to me, her shoulders stiff and practically up to her ears, and she was already tugging on her tiny little shorts. Before she could get her tank top over her head, I reached out and wrapped my hand around her arm, turning her toward me. Her skin was soft and I wanted to reacquaint myself with it. With her. I wanted to run my hands over every inch of her body, memorizing the things I’d forgotten and learning the ways she’d changed. She tensed under my hand, pausing in her movements as her tank top fell to the floor once again, but she wouldn’t look up at me, and fuck no, that wasn’t how this was going to go down.

With my other arm, I reached out, curling my hand around the back of her neck, using my thumb under her chin to tilt her face toward mine. That mask was in place again, that shuttered look in her eyes, and I wanted it gone. Erased. I wanted it to be like I’d seen when I’d kissed her. When I’d had her back against the wall, then again when she’d reversed our positions. When I’d been on the floor, my mouth on her pussy while she’d stared down at me.

That was my Evie. The woman here, looking at me with her blank eyes, was Genevieve, and I didn’t want her in my space. In our space.

“This shouldn’t have happened,” she said, but her voice lacked conviction.

The old Riley would’ve let it drop. But the old Riley wasn’t here anymore, and I was going to push to find out where her head was, because something didn’t add up. Something about her relationship with her fiancé didn’t make sense.

If Evie was my fiancée, if she’d agreed to marry me, if I’d had her in my bed, I sure as shit wouldn’t be satisfied with a few fucking texts while I was across the ocean, thousands of miles away.

I tightened my fingers around the back of her neck, pulling her closer to me. Bending my knees so I was eye level with her, I said, “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

She twisted away, out of my grasp, and glowered at me, crossing her arms over her naked breasts. “How is that bullshit? I’m engaged, Riley. Engaged.” She held her hand up to me, the too-big ring glinting obnoxiously on her slender finger. Like I needed that piece of jewelry as a reminder that she’d promised herself to another man. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she said, “And I just let my ex-boyfriend fuck me up against a wall. What part of that seems like a good idea to you?”

“I don’t know, the part where I was inside you seemed like a fan-fucking-tastic idea to me. And one I’d like to do again very soon.”

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head, and turned to grab her tank top once again. “I’m not discussing this with you. It was a mistake, plain and simple. And it’s not going to happen again. It’s over. It has to be.”

I went up behind her, gripping her upper arms, and pressed my cheek against hers. “This isn’t over, baby, and you know it. You want it as bad as I do.” I brushed my thumbs up and down her arms. “In fact, if I pulled you over to the couch and sat down, I bet I could tug you right on top of me, spread those legs, and get you to fuck me exactly how I want you to. Get you to ride me until you came as many times as you needed.”

She didn’t make a noise—she was too stubborn for that—but her teeth were digging harshly into her lower lip, and her breaths were getting more rapid, her chest heaving with each one. Her cheek was hot against mine, and I knew if I was facing her, if I could look into her eyes, I’d see the heavy swell of desire in them.

“You want that, don’t you? You want my cock all over again.” I turned my head and kissed her neck, and she let her head drop back against my shoulder, just like she’d done earlier. I swept my lips along her skin, swirling my tongue around her pulse point, and then continued until my mouth brushed her ear. “You want me, you loved every minute of that, and yet you’ve got that ring on your finger. I know as sure as I know my name that you’d never cheat. Not even with me. So I think it’s time you told me what the fuck is going on.”

EVIE

Riley’s body behind mine, against mine, his breath on my neck, being held safe in his arms, felt like coming home. Though not like any home I’d ever known. He felt like comfort and peace and happiness and safety, and I wanted to wrap myself up in the feeling, wrap myself up in him. I wanted to go boneless, let myself sink into his body, let him lead me over to the couch and proceed to do exactly as he’d described.

But I couldn’t.

Despite the need coursing through my veins, I’d made a promise to someone who meant a lot to me, and I couldn’t break that. Not even for Riley—the one person I’ve ever truly given the most of myself to. He hadn’t taken my virginity, but he’d been my first in all the ways that counted.

That night all those years ago, fumbling in the dark of his apartment, the rough material of the couch against my legs as I’d straddled him, staring down into his face, hadn’t been perfect, but it’d been perfect to me. Because with whispered words and grappling hands and that look—that heavy-lidded look that said I was his everything—he showed me that sex could be about more than just control.

And because of that, my relationship with him had been the one I’d compared everything else—everyone else—to.

In all honesty, nothing had even come close since him, not even Eric. In between my relationships with them, I’d never involved myself with a guy for more than a few hours in an anonymous bed somewhere—long enough to get that satisfaction I needed. Long enough to feel that power rushing through my veins, to feel like I was still the one in control of my body. My choices and only mine were what had led me to those beds, to those men.

I hadn’t felt that release in so long, though, and it was wearing on me. It would be easy to blame the fact that I’d slipped, that I’d allowed Riley inside me, on that, but that wasn’t it. And I wasn’t sure I was willing to write off our connection as a momentary lapse of judgment. I’d been cognizant of every decision I made, and this had been no different. I’d wanted him—still wanted him.

Clutching the tank top to my bare chest, I swallowed and closed my eyes. “I can’t tell you that.”

Riley stilled behind me, his hands tightening almost imperceptibly on my arms. Then he exhaled, his soft breath washing against my bare skin, and I shivered. “You can tell me anything. Anything. You know that.”

And I wanted to cry at his words. I wanted to turn around and press my face into his chest, breathe him in and exhale with every secret I’d ever been harboring. Because I so desperately wanted that to be true, for so many reasons. But I couldn’t trust that.

“It’s not my secret to tell.”