“We both know all I need to do to impress you is slip my fingers into that gorgeous mane of dark hair of yours.”

Her agreement came as a giggle, as she pressed a sideways kiss to his cheek. He crossed both arms beneath her chest, resting his chin on her shoulder. Both of their thoughts seemed to be floating along the clouds gathering to the west in the far distance. A soft pink hue danced beneath the belly, magnifying the bold landscape colors even further.

“You remember my old truck?”

“How could I forget Big Dirty?” An enormous grin slid across her face. On a campus full of influential sports cars, boasting egos and statuses, his big black four wheel drive stuck out like a sore thumb. “I always loved that truck.”

“Red?”

His pause prompted a reply. “Yes?”

“What do you want out of life?”

“’Scuse me?” She didn’t know why she acted like he needed to repeat the question. She’d heard him crystal clear. And he knew it. Summer gave her a significant glance, raising an inquisitive brow. “I don’t know. I guess I just want to be happy.”

“You’re happy. I can tell. You love your career. You have a fearsome work ethic. You love your friends. You’re content with where you’re at in life. But that’s not what I’m asking you.”

“What are you asking?” Her voice a quiet rasp. Nerves fluttered in her stomach like the wings of a hummingbird. Heat flushed her chest and cheeks.

Summer swayed with the breeze. “When you’re lying in bed at night and it’s just you and your thoughts, what do you dream of?”

A notch tugged between her brows trying to figure out how the conversation switched from Big Dirty to life dreams. Puzzle pieces were spinning and rotating in her mind searching for the correct placement.

“I’ve been blessed with a phenomenal career that I never saw coming. After losing football, I would’ve never even considered acting. It just fell into my lap. The opportunities that have been given to me have been astonishing. In some ways I feel so lucky…I’ve got good friends, my family, more money than most people could spend in a lifetime. Yet, I feel like I’m pissing time away.” His lips drew closer to her ear in a raspy whisper. “I’m tired of fucking around with my life. I want more than contentment.”

Her fingers came to her lips, nervously rubbing along her bottom lip as she pondered the enormity of the question.

“God, I remember thinking life was so damn easy. When I was on the field, it felt like I was catching every green light on the road of life. I always loved that truck. It didn’t matter if I washed it or if it was covered in mud, no one ever gave it a thought…because they never noticed it. When I signed my first movie deal, the first thing I wanted to do was sell that truck and get a sports car.”

“The Viper.” She could barely suppress her frown, inquiring, “I never understood why you bought that thing? All the rich kids drove those in college.”

“Exactly,” he muttered, in a sound of disgraceful resignation. “I grew up in a small town surrounded by corn fields. Football was supposed to be my one way ticket to a different life. I was on my way to the top, rising to this incredible high and then everything crashed. Hard. No parachute included. I’m sorry for everything I put you through, Red. You tried so hard to make me feel that everything was going to work out for the best, but I just couldn’t see it that way. I felt like the future I worked so hard for was ripped out of my hands. I took my self-pity out on you.”

“You were the one who put a monetary value on success. Not me. I get it…you wanted a different life than the one you were raised with, but…”

“It was made very clear to me that I’d never be enough. I’d never be able to give you the life you were raised with. The life you deserved.”

Carrie Ann could practically hear her father’s disparaging words, full of judgment and laced with insult. The ugly memory soured her stomach. She hated the way her father treated him.

“Money doesn’t ensure happiness. Watching you fall apart was the second hardest thing I’ve had to witness.” There was no need to explain. Even as a young girl, the sorrow of her mother’s death defined her. Carrie Ann never looked at life the same way after.

“I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t ready for any of it…especially the overnight success that followed.” He gently traced the back of his fingers along the underside of her chin, still using her shoulder as a pillow. “Suddenly, I had the money, the fame, the house, that stupid sports car, but they were just crutches for my personal satisfaction. I became obsessed with appearance and how everyone else in the world viewed me. I was meticulously aware of how I spoke, who I was seen with, even how I shook someone’s hand for fuck’s sake. I turned into my car. A pretentious self-centered, asshole and I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror.”

Enthralled in his story, a small smile of understanding lifted at the corners of her mouth. She touched her index finger to his chin dimple. “You’ve never been an asshole.”

“Yeah, I was and I got pretty sick of myself.”

“Under all that sexy, bravado of arrogance, you were always grounded, Summer. What changed it around for you?”

“I split for a while. Trekked through Peru, spent some time in India. Got my head on straight. Getting away from the spotlight forced me to look inside…take inventory on what makes me happy. It helped immensely, but I still couldn’t shake this feeling inside of me…this conviction of failing.”

“You’ve never failed at anything. Sometimes things in life just happen. Things we don’t have control over.”

“Yeah well, life sent me over the edge when I couldn’t make it to Shayla’s wedding. I was on location in New Zealand. I was angry, seriously outraged, because I couldn’t be there. That’s when I realized…my anger had absolutely nothing to do with Shayla and John getting married. I was livid because I wouldn’t get the chance to see you.”

She could feel the look of hurt creeping across her forehead. Carrie Ann had pretended, even to herself, to be so relieved that he couldn’t attend the wedding, but deep down she was disappointed not to see him. “I’ve never really admitted this, not even to Shayla, but…”

“Umm, actually you have admitted it. And I really could’ve done without that one, Carrie Ann. You were totally bummed that I wasn’t at the wedding. But you were so worried that I’d show up last minute with another woman you brought a date, which led to a horrible one-night stand. Which you’ve blamed me for…for the last five years.”

Carrie Ann looked away in humiliation, nervously digging a hole in the dirt with her shoe. She murmured crossly, “It was all your fault.”

“Yes. It was my fault and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for letting you out of my life long enough to give other men the opportunity of…enjoying you.”

Jealously began a slow assault on her senses. The handful of relationships and lovers she’d had over the years paled in comparison to the countless affairs he’d had, not including weekend fucks. The mere thought of the headcount set her on a very sharp edge of combustion.

“What about all the women you’ve enjoyed?” she snapped.

“Maybe we should just get this out of the way right now?” He spun her around. His probing stare locked in hers, scrutinizing her features. Carrie Ann squirmed to get out of his arms, but he refused to release her. Hands pressed against his chest, she could feel hard running emotions pounding beneath her fingers. “If you think it was any easier for me to see you with someone else, you’re wrong. It was all I could do not to rip each one of them apart, limb by limb. Now…we can either table the discussion or get it out the way. Which do you prefer?”

“No, I don’t want to talk about all the women you’ve slept with.” Her temper ignited. She panted and wriggled trying to get free. Her face screwed into a tight snarl of frustration and repugnance, imagining the amount of spray-tanned flawlessness that had laid between his sheets. Emotions pricked the corner of her eyes.