“Jesus, fuck, Grace,” he said hoarsely.
“I know good and bad, Logan, trust me. And deep down you do too. And you know you’re a good man. You know it. And I’m not going to tell you any different.” I brushed impatiently at a tear. “We both know Maia deserves you. You deserve her.”
My heart leapt into my throat as I was abruptly pulled across the passenger seat and into Logan’s arms. He wrapped his hand around my nape and pressed my head into the crook of his neck, while his other arm fastened tight around my back. I had no choice but to slide my arms around him and hold on.
I let his solid, secure warmth rush over me.
I breathed him in.
And I wished that this moment didn’t feel as perfect as it did.
CHAP TER 10
A s I stepped out of my flat I realized I was relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever.
I was going to meet up with Aidan, Juno, and Chloe for a coffee before starting my work for the day.
Maia was at school.
Her first day of school.
Thankfully, her time off school ran at the same time as Edinburgh’s Easter break, so it didn’t even really feel like she’d missed out on much. She was starting a new school in the last term of the year, which was a little awkward, but there was nothing that could be done about that.
Logan hadn’t wasted any time in arranging Maia’s new life here with him. He got her transferred to Muirhead High School, which was a twenty-minute walk through the Meadows and into Viewforth.
Logan had dropped her off this morning, but she had been quite insistent that she walk home alone and that she would walk to school by herself every morning thereafter. Her father was not happy about this. I think he kept forgetting she was fifteen years old and used to taking care of herself. I’d tried to tell him that, but he’d just grunted at me and led Maia down the stairs and out of the building.
Although he and I had spent quite some time together these last few days with Maia, the closeness we’d experienced in his car seemed like a distant memory. I got the feeling Logan was uncomfortable with what we had shared with each other. Perhaps he felt strange about letting me see him so vulnerable, or perhaps it was because I’d let him see me so vulnerable. I could go over and over it in my head, and I could let myself get embarrassed for giving him a piece of myself I hadn’t given to anyone, but I wasn’t going to let myself go through that. If Logan wanted to be macho and weird about the whole thing, then I’d let him. I wasn’t going to drive myself crazy overthinking it.
The truth was Maia was a big distraction from the “car moment.” Her moods were all over the place. She’d go from being excited, happy¸ and filled with anticipation, to worried, anxious, and locking herself in her room to cry. I guessed it was partly caused by the fact that she was a teenager, a girl (and on her period), but I knew it was also hugely to do with the fact that her mother had given her away without a fight. She confided in me a little of what life was like with Maryanne. Maia had practically raised herself, from taking herself to the opticians when she realized her eyesight was worsening, to stealing money out of her mother ’s purse to pay for school clothes, shoes, and food.
The new transition was forcing her to deal with her memories, and thus her emotions were heightened.
Maia’s moods were infectious, and so I was absolutely exhausted.
As much as I enjoyed being a part of this new chapter in Maia’s life and getting to know her, I was looking forward to the normality of having a cup of coffee with friends and then catching up on my work. In fact, I was more than a little behind.
I was in the middle of locking my door when I heard Logan’s door open behind me. He stood in his doorway wearing a black T-shirt with the logo from the nightclub he worked at etched across his chest. His dark blue jeans were worn and hung on his hips in a rather attractive way. I’d never really thought much about men in jeans, but in that moment I realized that certain men just sold them to you.
Logan definitely sold those jeans.
He had a bit of a short beard going on again, and I found I liked it. A lot. Despite the tiredness behind his eyes, he really was bloody gorgeous.
When had he become my type?
I looked down, dropping my keys in my bag, avoiding his gaze so he couldn’t see what I was thinking. “Hi.”
“You going out?”
I glanced up at him because he sounded agitated. “Are you okay?”
“Maia’s bed was delivered an hour ago.”
“That’s good.” I felt a little pang in my chest at the realization Maia would be moving out soon.
“I… um…” He rubbed a hand over his hair. “I want her room to be, you know… I need paint.
Things… stuff… that girls like.”
He looked so adorably lost and confounded I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Are you asking for my help?”
“I can ask Shannon if you’re busy, but I just thought… you know Maia a little better.”
Maia had spent more time with Shannon, and the two of them got on very well together. Over the weekend Logan had taken Maia to meet Shannon’s fiancé, Cole, and some of his family. She’d been flushed with excitement when Logan dropped her off at my flat afterward, and she filled my ears with descriptions of Cole’s gorgeous sister, Jo, and her husband, Cam, and their little girl, Belle. From what I could tell of Maia’s accounts, they’d all been extremely welcoming to her. I was thrilled for her. She’d never experienced anything like Logan’s friends and family.
However, despite getting to know them all and loving it, Maia still clung to me. She wanted me to be included in everything and was disappointed when I insisted she go with just Logan to meet his friends and family. I tried my best to give them father-daughter time, and I knew Logan appreciated it.
But the truth was, Maia was living with me, and so far I’d spent a great deal of time with her and I was the one she chose to show her vulnerable side to. It was my shoulder she chose to cry on when everything became too overwhelming.
So yes, I probably did know her better than anyone.
“She likes green. She’s not too girlie. She’s quite mature in her tastes actually. Stylish.” I sighed inwardly, knowing I was an idiot. I’m doing this for Maia, not Logan! “I’ll have a look at the bed and make a quick call while you get your shoes on.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You’re sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” I shooed him inside and followed him in, pulling my phone out of my bag.
I called Chloe. She was not happy. Her screeching melted away for a second, and suddenly I heard Aidan say, “Do what you have to do, Grace. We’ll catch up with you later.”
I smiled at his understanding. “Thanks. I’ll talk to you soon.”
By the time I got off the phone, I was standing in Logan’s spare room. It was the same size as my guest room, and it was now dwarfed by the beautiful white Shaker-style bed frame and mattress that sat in the middle of the room.
“What do you think?”
I glanced over my shoulder and found him leaning in the doorway. “I think it’s lovely. I hope you have dust sheets to cover it so you don’t get paint on it.”
“We’ll add those to the shopping list.”
“I think this is going to be a very large shopping list,” I said wryly, following him out of the flat.
We’d just hit the ground floor when Mr. Jenner ’s door suddenly opened and he leaned outside. “I thought I heard your voice, Grace.” He smiled. “Logan.”
“Mr. Jenner,” we said in unison.
“I heard we have a new addition to the building.”
“My daughter,” Logan said.
I smiled up at him.
“What?” He frowned.
“Nothing.” I looked over at Mr. Jenner, still smiling. Already it seemed to be getting easier and easier for Logan to use the word “daughter.”
“Oh, very good,” Mr. Jenner said, grinning at Logan. “Nice to have family around. Speaking of my lack thereof…” He threw me an apologetic smile. “I couldn’t ask you for a favor, Grace, could I?