I heard Ky’s sharp intake of air the moment my admission hit the space in the car. He turned toward me after he killed the engine and stared at me. His mouth opened and closed like he wanted to speak but no words came. A loud shriek sounded outside of the car, ceasing our stare off, and we both swung around to look toward the house. A beautiful lady in her early fifties rushed toward the car, arms flailing, with dark brown hair bouncing around her shoulders; her face was overtaken by the biggest smile I had ever seen.

“It’s time,” Ky muttered beside me. He opened the door and slipped out leaving me in a mass of nerves and confusion. I watched with a smile on my face as his mom wrapped her arms around him and his dad lovingly patted him on the back. Three sets of eyes then fell to the car, and I realized I was still in the passenger seat with the seat belt tightly fastened around my body.

With a shaking hand I opened the door and before I had a chance to put a foot on the ground I was being lifted and swung around excitedly in the air.

“You are even prettier than your photos sweetheart!” His dad’s strong voice hit my ears as he finally let me stand. “This one has spoken about you constantly. Now come inside, it’s freezing out here, and I want to get to know the girl who has my son so smitten.”

To say the day was nothing like I could have expected was an understatement. The Crawford family welcomed me with open arms and at no time did it ever feel like the first time meeting them. They fussed over me, fed me delicious food, and his parents even bought me a Christmas gift, which hung in pride of place around my neck. The moment Sue Crawford handed me the perfectly wrapped gift box, I felt a burst of unpredictable emotions hit me. What had I ever done in my life to deserve this level of kindness? Ky sensing my impending meltdown, pulled me into his lap and tightened his arms encouragingly around my waist as my body shook with emotion. As if forgetting we were around his family, a family who had been watching us for any indication of what was happening between us, he placed the most calming kiss on the side of my neck and encouraged me to open the gift. All eyes were on me and my hands shook as I lifted the lid from the box. Inside was a silver chain with an antique looking heart shaped locket dangling from it. I was at a complete loss for words. My fingers ran over the beautiful inscription on the back that read ‘The heart is there to be filled.’

As soon as I read the inscription, they hit me full force. My heart had been dead, locked up and the key thrown away, but then somehow Ky had picked the lock and my heart was open to so many possibilities. Ky was filling my heart with words, actions, soft kisses and quiet moments and what was once an empty heart was now threatening to overflow.

As day turned into night a ferocious snowstorm battered outside, with lashing winds and heavy snow fall. After dinner, James Crawford had informed us there was no way we were leaving that night and much to my shock Ky agreed without a fight. After I ate way too much food and drank my fair share of eggnog, my exhaustion hit at a rapid rate. I curled up on the sofa beside Josh, my head rested on his shoulder and what could have possibly been the most comforting hot chocolate of my life sat in my hands.

“You make him happy,” Josh whispered beside me. “Four years has been too long to watch my brother slowly destroy himself.”

His words hit me hard.

“Why has he been destroying himself?” I asked, lifting my head from his shoulder and moving to face him.

“It’s not my place to say, but what I can say is that you are giving him a second chance without even knowing it and no matter what the future brings, I will always be grateful to you for that, for however long it is.”

Josh was such a mystery. He went through women like I went through underwear, but beneath it all, he was the most loving and fragile man I’d ever met. His protection of Ky was paramount, like something I’d never witnessed before. They had the relationship that I would have loved to have if I had siblings; it was the type of relationship I would want for my children if I were to ever have them. He was the little brother but more often than not he stood up for Ky like the big brother.

“I’m meant to leave soon,” I admitted through a thick voice.

“Do you want to leave?”

“I can’t stay here Josh; I am scared every time I leave the house and now that Jeremy is somewhere out there, it just makes it worse.”

“What about Ky? It’s going to kill him when you leave. Fuck I’ve said too much.”

“Your brother has made me feel alive again Josh.”

“And you have made him live again.”

••••

“Thank you so much for a perfect day,” I said later in the night as I stood in the kitchen with Sue cleaning up the last of the dishes. “And thank you for my lovely gift. You really shouldn’t have.”

“Oh sweetie, it has been mine and James’ pleasure to have you here today. You make my boy happy; he has changed so much and it’s all thanks to you.” The smile looking back at me was so honest and identical to the one I often saw on Ky. “He is a good boy. He just has a lot of demons locked up in that pretty head of his, and he won’t let anyone get close enough to get rid of them, not even Joshy, but I can see it in the way he looks at you, the way he always needs to be near you, how he is smiling and laughing more than he has in four years. You are the one for him. He will let you in, but please just give him a chance to explain everything.”

“Mom, are you telling Eden embarrassing stories about me?” Ky voice echoed as he came waltzing into the kitchen. His mom’s words hit me square in the heart, and I had a billion questions to ask. Ky came up behind me and pulled me firmly into his chest. I molded perfectly against his protectiveness.

“No stories tonight, but the photos come out next time. How about you kids head upstairs and get some rest. It’s been a big day. I’ve put extra towels on your bed sweetie. I will see you both in the morning.” Her eyes bounced between Ky and me and the sweetest of smiles filled her face.

Sue Crawford left the kitchen and the moment she was out of sight Ky spun me around to face him and pushed me against the kitchen island.

“Bed?” Ky muttered against my lips before they gave me a quick sweet kiss. “I need some alone time with you. You’ve been very popular with my family today, and I’m a little jealous at the lack of Eden time I’ve had.”

“I’ve had a really good day. I’m glad your bossy ass made me come.” My arms squeezed around his middle and my chin rested on his chest as I looked up at him.

Like a thundercloud, his eyes darkened with mischief. “I haven’t made you come yet Eden.”

“Ky! We are in your parents’ home.”

His laughter bounced around the empty kitchen and soon I was dragged out of the kitchen, my hand in his, and we headed up the grand staircase. I hadn’t been up there yet and I was intrigued to see where Ky had spent his childhood. Ky squeezed my hand as we walked down the hall until we stood before a door that had a bright blue plaque that had Ky displayed proudly.

“Welcome to my childhood abode,” he said with a soft laugh and pushed open the door. With a flick of a switch, light illuminated the room, and I stood in the center taking it all in. Pale blue walls were graced with posters of sport stars and bands, a double bed sat in the middle of the room and a chest of drawers lined with trophies sat against the far wall.

It was almost like his parents had made no changes since he left home.

“You did so well today,” he whispered as he pulled me into his chest for a tight hug. “You’ve got to give yourself more credit.”

“You are a big reason for the new Eden you are seeing,” I admitted unashamedly.

The content expression on his face dropped suddenly as did his arms from my waist. It was a move I was becoming very well accustomed to. It seemed that anytime I said anything positive about him, he would shut down and feign indifference.