Five years since he took my V card. He blindfolded me in the back of a cab and brought me here, then ordered the same pizza and beer we had the first night we met. I was shocked he remembered.

The blue bubble appeared almost immediately, and I could imagine the shriek of excitement that came out of her. Oh fuck, Ky would ask her what made her so excited. I couldn’t help but smirk, because I knew Josh would receive a text from Ky, or better yet he’d mention it during their current conversation. I looked over to where Josh was standing and met his gaze. He held up a finger, signaling that he was almost done.

My phone vibrated in my hand.

YOU ARE KIDDING ME! Oh My God. That is adorable. I always knew he was a romantic that hid behind that playboy exterior. Shit! Does that mean you two are going to have SEX!? Ashlyn, this is HUGE.

Her use of capital letters told me she was deliriously excited, and her idea that we were going to have sex was clearly brought on by the lack of oxygen her excitement was causing.

Eden, you need to breathe. It is just two friends having pizza and beers. No sex. Well, for me anyway. I have sworn off sex. No cock is getting in my panties. I need to buy myself a chastity belt ASAP. Gotta go, Josh is coming back. Love ya.

Josh pulled out his seat and placed his phone on the table, and I put mine back in my clutch. He leaned back, crossed his arms over his chest, and raised a questioning brow.

“Really?” He smirked and shook his head slightly.

“What?” I asked innocently, knowing full well what he meant.

“You had to tell Eden that we were here?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Of course. She is my sister from another mister. We tell each other everything.”

“Really?”

“Well, not everything,” I mused, my eyes darting away from his.

“Does she know about us?”

With wide eyes, I asked, “Us?”

“Yes, us.”

I shook my head because I didn’t know how to respond to that. The fact that he could render me speechless frustrated me. “Us” had so much meaning behind it. I needed to find me before I could even consider becoming an us. And an us with Josh? Not likely. The fun we had was what I needed. It had given me a fleeting glimpse of passion that I knew I still wanted, but it was a pleasure that I knew I couldn’t keep feeding. Especially not with the one guy who could destroy me.

“You play dirty,” I said softly.

“How do I play dirty?” His brow quirked.

“You walk around without a shirt, you have crazy awesome stubble, and you say sweet things to a damsel in distress. I had no hope. Combine those things, and I am officially back to being a college student crushing on the campus manwhore,” I said, while trying to hide a smirk. Everything I was saying was complete truth.

“Fuck, you’re hilarious.” He laughed.

“Joshua, I’m not trying to be funny,” I said, trying my hardest not to smile. “No more kissing or talk of kissing, and definitely no more fingers in my panties. You and I are friends, besties, buddies. I’m putting my black stiletto foot down. It’s not going to happen again.”

“It will happen again.” His brow lifted as he emphasized every word.

“No, it will not.”

“It will.”

“Why are you so damn stubborn and annoying?” I pouted, and knew that neither of us would back down.

“You know I’m right.” He leaned in and dropped his voice dangerously low. “If I was to grab your hand right now, take you to a secluded corner, and press you against the wall and kiss you, would you stop me?”

“Uh, y—, yes I would.” No, I wouldn’t. Shut up libido.

A shit-eating grin spread across his face, and he knew he had me. “Hesitation looks stunning on you, Ashy.”

That was it. I was done. I needed to get away before he got his bossy voice on and his hooded eyes that made him look irresistible. Fuck my life! “I’m going to order another drink.”

“See if they have a cocktail called Living in Denial. You should definitely buy one if they do.”

I pushed away from the table and flipped him the bird, while trying desperately to stop the playful smile that was begging to be unleashed. His deep laughter followed me as I darted through the crowd and made my way toward the main bar.

I couldn’t deny that my days and nights had been spent trying to refuse my basic needs in order to resist him, but the more I was around him, the more I failed. I should have never moved in with him. Distance was the only cure for this. I had been resisting his temptation for exactly five years, and at times I failed miserably—hence the two kisses and numerous orgasms I’d had in a matter of days.

His pull was making me frantic. It was like fighting against a rip in the ocean; once it had you in its grasp, you had little to no chance of getting away. I knew the day would come when it would pull me under, and I would let it take me wherever it wanted. The fear was now becoming a reality, because I was on a one-way course to giving him whatever he wanted, no matter how much I tried to fight it. Maybe I could do the friends-with-benefits thing with him—no strings attached, but copious amounts of sex. Just the thought alone sent my body into overdrive. Temptation was a dangerous thing. It made me see in bright, beautiful colors, beaming in fantasy, instead of the stark reality of black and white.

“Forget the drink.”

Warmth flittered through me, and I froze when the unique scent of sandalwood and vanilla filled the air as Josh pressed up against my back.

“I want to enjoy my last night of having you in my apartment,” he continued, so close to my ear that his words vibrated against my sensitive skin.

“What do you want to do?” I asked, not turning toward him, but leaning back into him.

Everything about tonight was going full circle, and my memories shot to life. Suddenly, I was transported back to being the girl standing in the bar with a nervous excitement buzzing around her, while Josh, the guy that had every girl on campus’ attention, had all of his firmly locked on me. For as long as I could remember, the only attention I’d received was from my big brother, so having Josh’s caused nerves to shoot through me. Now, five years later, standing in our bar, with every girl in the room’s attention on him, he still made me feel like I was the only one he saw. But now we had history. We had words that had been spoken, and sensations that had been felt. We had memories, we had confusion, and for me, there were unrequited emotions that continued to taunt.

“I want to show you, several times and several ways, why it should happen again. I want to make you remember how it felt to lose yourself entirely with me. But mainly, I want your body to become mine, so I can worship you, taste you, own you, and devour you.”

I turned to face him, and as soon as our eyes met, I knew I’d throw caution to the wind. My whole conversation about it never happening again was futile. All I knew was that right here, right now, I wanted to forget my fears and step into the unknown with him. I wanted him to show me what it was like to be wanted again, just like he did when we were nineteen. For one night, I wanted to get caught in the riptide, I wanted to lose the fight, and I wanted to feel.

“Take me home, Josh,” I whispered, as my heart and mind commenced a fierce battle, with both fighting for ultimate victory. It was only after I recognized the sweet smile he was presenting me with that I realized what I had said.

I just repeated the exact same words to him that I said five years ago.

THE CAB RIDE BACK to the apartment had me seething with heat and need. Ashlyn sat beside me, her hands clamped together in her lap, and she had been continually crossing and uncrossing her legs since we left the bar. My gaze was drawn to her legs, and it trailed over her skin and up to her thighs. Choosing that dress was the best fucking decision I’d ever made. It fit her like a glove, and it emphasized her curves like a perfect second skin. I was a desperate man, I needed to touch her.