Birdie’s eyes bulged. “That’s a long time, Toni!”

“So you’ll have to wait. A long, long time.” Way longer than nine months, but Toni would like to make Birdie an aunt someday. And she was almost giddy thinking about how adorable Logan’s babies would be.

“You can make me a calendar and I can mark the days with an X.”

“If I’m blessed with a baby in the future, I’ll make you a calendar,” Toni said, “but sometimes babies arrive early and sometimes they show up late.”

“That’s weird,” Birdie said.

“Are you actually considering this?” Logan sputtered.

“Not anytime soon.” She closed the distance between them, took his hand, and leaned her head against his shoulder. She gazed up at him adoringly, as if he could make all her dreams come true if he granted her wish for a child of her own. In actuality, she was just fucking with him to see how he’d react. “But I do eventually want children. Don’t you?”

Three additional sets of feminine eyes turned on him, imploring him for an answer. “Maybe,” he said. “I don’t know. I sure wouldn’t make a very good dad.”

Toni squeezed his hand. “I’ve seen how you are with Birdie. You’d be a great father. But don’t worry, I’m not in any hurry, and if you don’t want kids, I can find someone else to have babies with.”

Logan glanced around at Toni’s menagerie of relatives and then took her by the elbow and promptly escorted her out of the room and into the hallway.

“What the hell was that supposed to mean?” he said in an angry whisper. “Are you considering a future that doesn’t include me?”

Toni opened her mouth to tell him she’d been joking, but he didn’t let her get a word in.

“How can you even consider having babies with some other man? Don’t you know that means you’ll have to have sex with someone else?”

Toni chuckled. “Relax, Logan. I don’t want another man’s babies. I don’t want any babies right now. But someday I’d like to have half a dozen curly-haired, blue-eyed baby Logans and Loganettes.” She anticipated him turning away and running for freedom since they hadn’t talked about their distant future. But he didn’t run. He didn’t even take a step back. He cupped her face between shaking hands and held her gaze for an intense moment.

“You want to have my babies?” he croaked.

“Someday,” she said, wrapping her arms around his back and tugging him closer. “But not any time soon. I’ve heard the little buggers really interrupt a couple’s sex life, and I still have a lot to learn.”

He laughed. “Are you sure you don’t want to try out some other guy before you pledge forever to me?”

“Do you want me to try out another guy?”

“Fuck no,” he said. “I’d have to kill him and then where would we be? Occasional conjugal visits while I serve time.”

She grinned and shook her head at him, knowing he was pulling her leg. “I don’t want another guy. I’ve already had the best, why settle for the rest?”

Logan chuckled and squeezed her close. “That rhymes.”

“Maybe I should try getting into the music business,” she said. “I could write lyrics for your new album.”

“Uh, let’s not and say you did.”

She huffed at him. “Are you trying to stifle my creative genius?”

“I’d rather encourage it. You’re coming back on tour with me, right? You have to finish your book. Your mom and grandma will take good care of Birdie. If you need to get home, we’ll get you home. I don’t know why you’re hesitating—don’t you want to stay with me?”

“I do,” she admitted, but there was one more thing holding her back. “But I’m not sure the band wants me there.” There, she’d said it. How could she spend weeks in close quarters with four people who hated her guts?

“I don’t give a fuck what they want. I want you there. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you with me. We belong together. Always.”

She stood on tiptoe and captured his lips for a kiss. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

“I mean it.”

He deepened their kiss, heightening her arousal, filling her thoughts with nothing but him.

Always.

Thirty-Nine

As Toni stepped onto Exodus End’s tour bus, her stomach took residence in her calf-hugging boots. She clutched the strap of her messenger bag and tried to swallow her queasiness. Would these guys ever accept her apology and let her close to them again? Or would she be forced to leave? The wall of muscle and mean that suddenly appeared in her path did nothing to put her at ease.

“No fans on the bus,” Butch said, his mustache twitching with disapproval.

“Then I guess I’d better leave,” she said.

“Is that Toni?” Max said from the back of the bus.

“Logan actually did something right for a change,” Steve said with a laugh.

“Toni’s back!” Reagan cried, nearly knocking Butch on his ass as she shoved him aside to grab Toni in a rib-crushing hug. “I’m so sorry I yelled at you. And that I pushed you. And I thought you were responsible. I should have known you weren’t a backstabbing whorebag. We’re going to get back at those bitches, aren’t we?”

Well, considering one of those bitches was her mother, probably not.

“Welcome home,” Dare said, his green-eyed gaze warm and inviting. Toni knew he reserved that look for people he trusted.

“It’s good to be back,” she said with a happy smile.

“What? No one cares that I’m back too?” Logan said, shifting sideways so Toni wasn’t blocking their view of him.

“Not really,” Reagan teased, but the guys smacked him around a little to let him know he’d been missed.

With the man she loved at her side and a bright future before her, Toni no longer had to reach for her stars. They were right there beside her.

June 2

Dear Journal,

It’s been a while since I wrote. I’ve been super busy. Today is the last day of Exodus End’s North American tour. We’re heading to the UK in two weeks for the Download Festival. I can’t wait to get that first stamp in my brand new passport. The band has the next two weeks off while their equipment ships overseas. Of course, I had to record footage of them loading the semis on the freighter, so Logan and I are currently down at the docks. Yes, it was cool to see the cranes lifting those big containers, knowing the tour was packed inside. Yes, this is all going into the book. I don’t know if I’ll ever completely finish gathering data for this book. I’ll probably need to break it into two volumes. Or maybe three.

Logan and I plan to spend the next few days in Key West—he insists I’ll love parasailing and sex in the ocean (sharks, anyone?)—before we head to his place in Southern California. Apparently he has a dirt bike track on his property, and he wants to teach me to ride. Not sure how I feel about that one, but he already ordered a bike for me, so I have to at least try it out. We’re going to California because I’m his date for Sed Lionheart’s wedding next weekend. Jessica will be such a beautiful bride—even if she has packed on a few pounds (don’t tell her I noticed)—and I’ll get to see Sinners in tuxedos! It should be a blast. Then Logan and I are heading north to spend the rest of our vacation time with my family.

Birdie can’t wait to show Logan her new horse. Mom is probably rethinking her decision to read her Black Beauty now! She says Birdie has even more energy since her pacemaker was implanted. I can’t imagine how that’s possible. I miss her to pieces, but since we’ve been using Skype to talk almost every night, at least I get to see her smiling face on a regular basis.

Things with Logan are wonderful. He’s shoved me out of my comfort zone so many times, I’m not sure I even have a comfort zone anymore. I’ll just hang on for the ride and see where he takes me. The rest of the guys in the band are doing well. I’m worried about Reagan, though. She hasn’t been herself since that first tabloid article was published. Reporters hound her and Trey constantly. Trey’s good about brushing them off, but they’re really wearing Reagan down. I wish she’d stop reading those damned articles. Each time a new one comes out, she sinks a little lower. Steve still wants to confront Susan about starting this shitstorm. Unfortunately, the bitch disappeared as soon as Mom announced she was planning to sell the company. I still don’t get why Susan thought she could follow Exodus End on tour to get dirt on them. Did she really think Steve wouldn’t recognize her? She lost a lot of weight since he knew her, but she was his sister-in-law for five years; he’s not that clueless. Hopefully she’ll turn up one day. I’d really like to hear Steve cut her down to size. And if Reagan ever runs into her, I don’t think Susan will survive the confrontation.