And I knew him well enough to know that he’d be kicking his own arse for weeks to come about this.

I sought to soothe him, as he had soothed me. “You already are.”

On that he kissed me softly, sweetly as he slid his hand between my legs and caught his thumb on my clit. I sighed in pleasure, arching into his touch as he circled my clit, need swirling low in my belly.

Just as the tension was about to break in me he broke our kiss and removed his thumb.

My eyes flashed in unfilled desire.

A small, playful smirk curled the corners of his delicious mouth and I cried out his name as he slipped two thick fingers inside of me.

“Look at me, Jo,” he demanded and I did as he asked.

Our eyes held and locked as he wound me up with his fingers, his own eyes darkening with a deepening arousal as he watched my eyes dilate, as he listened to me pant his name over and over.

I came on a cry of relief and he grasped my wrists, held my hands above my head and began to thrust into me.

Light flared in his eyes as he looked down at me. Not once, as he pumped his hips against mine, as the sweat began to bead across his skin, as the muscles in his jaw clenched with his effort to hold his release in check, did my husband once break eye contact with me.

I wanted to touch him but every time I tried to move my hands he pressed them down harder to the floor.

“Do you see?” he groaned, his thrusts coming faster and harder. “Do you see what you do to me? Only you. Only you…”

On those words I cried out his name again, my inner muscles rippling around him as I came.

“Johanna,” he called out as his hips stilled and then jerked against mine as his own hard climax rocked him.

He rested his forehead against my chest as he tried to catch his breath.

“I think we both needed that,” I whispered, amused and sated.

Cam looked at me and released my wrists to rest his hands on my waist. I circled his shoulders with my arms and wrapped my legs around him, holding him inside me, tight to me.

“You and Belle,” he whispered, his words somber. “You mean everything to me.”

Tonight had left us both raw, but whereas I was much calmer now, much more at ease, made so by his reassurances, Cam was unsure. I could see the panic buried deep in the back of his eyes. He didn’t know if I believed him. And I had a feeling he was going to spend the next few months trying to prove his love to me. As much as that would be lovely, I didn’t want Cam feeling the way I had felt for the last few months.

“I believe you,” I whispered. “I promise that I believe you.”

He coasted his hands up and down the sides of my waist in a soothing, comforting caress. “It’s Saturday tomorrow.”

“It is.”

“You, me and Belle. This whole weekend. Just us.”

“No work?” I said, hopeful.

“I’m switching my phone off.”

I grinned. “That sounds fun.”

“Mmm.” He brushed his mouth over mine. “I think it’ll start with a sleep-in.”

“Oh?”

“You’re going to be very, very tired, Mrs. MacCabe.” He grinned cockily. “But very, very satisfied.”

I laughed and he grinned harder at the sound. “Do your worst, Mr. MacCabe. We’ve got all night.”

“Correction,” He said gruffly. “We’ve got forever.”

I bit my lip on a smile. “You’re the quite the romantic this evening.”

“Well.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “It is Valentine’s Day. I don’t mind putting in the effort.”

I playfully pushed at him and he shook with laughter, peppering me with teasing kisses and tickling fingers that I tried to avoid. My failure at both caused my squealing laughter to fill the flat, Cam’s deeper amusement joining it and making my home feel familiar and beautiful again.

Olivia and Nate

“Liv, have you seen my fisheye lens?” Nate yelled from his office at the back of the house.

I gently brushed January’s soft hair into pigtails. “Why do you need your fisheye lens?”

“Mummy, can I have some gummy bears?” Lily asked from the kitchen.

“Because I’m doing that magazine shoot this morning! We’ll be experimenting with shots and the fisheye lens might come in handy!” Nate shouted, sounding exasperated.

He was late.

He hated being late.

“Well the lens should be with your equipment.” I kissed the top of January’s head and she hopped off the arm of the sofa and hurried off into the kitchen to be with her big sister.

“Mummy? Gummy bears?”

“No, Lily.” I followed Jan into the kitchen to find Lily clutching a mini bag of chewy fruity bears. “Sweetheart, those are for recess. Eat your banana and yoghurt.”

“It’s called playtime not recess and I’ve already eaten my banana and yoghurt.” Lily pouted.

“Liv!”

I gritted my teeth at Nate’s yelling as I plucked a banana from the fruit bowl and handed it to Lily. “Have another and watch your sister while I help your dad.”

Hurrying toward his office I thrust open the door to find him rummaging manically through a drawer. “Why isn’t it with the rest of your stuff?”

“How the fuck should I know?” He snapped. “Every time you put something down in this house it takes a walk.”

“Okay, calm down and think. When was the last time you used the fisheye?”

He ran a hand through his dark hair, hair that was starting to show sprinklings of grey in the edges. That and the wrinkles around his eyes that had appeared from his (usually) excessive smiling did nothing to detract from his masculine beauty.

Often, when taking time to admire how gorgeous my husband was, I got tingles between my legs and a sudden switch to an amorous attitude. Not today, however. Today was Valentine’s Day and as much as Nate and I enjoyed mocking the commercialism and general hokeyness of the day, he always acknowledged it by giving me flowers in the morning.

Not today.

Nada today.

Except he was uncharacteristically grumpy.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “It’s been a while.”

“Was it for that article you did for the paper… I remember it being distorted… you know the picture of Portobello Beach. The history piec—”

“You’re a genius!” He pointed at me. “I gave the bloody lens to Mikael that day and he didn’t give me the fucker back.”

“Nate the girls are just down the hall,” I reminded him.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’ve got to go. I’ll call Mikael and get him to bring the lens.”

I had no idea who Mikael was but I nodded since it was getting my husband out of the house. The girls were due at school and I was due at work and I just needed him and his bad mood gone.

He grabbed his equipment and gave me a peck on the lips as he passed. “See you later.”

Following him out into the hall I watched as he dumped his equipment and hurried into the kitchen. Standing in the doorway I looked on as he lifted January up into the air making her giggle and squeal before he peppered her face with kisses that made her laugh harder. Once she was safely on her feet he turned to Lily and enfolded her in his arms, chasing her cheeks with kisses as she squirmed and laughed at him to get off of her.

The sight made my chest ache with its beauty.

“Bye girls. See you later.” He flashed me a quick smile as he passed me and I tried to ignore the way the ache in my chest suddenly turned into a painful knot.

The door slammed shut behind him and I clapped my hands and grinned at the girls, covering my dour mood. “Time for school. First one to the door with their shoes, coat and schoolbag gets an extra bag of gummy bears.”

The girls giggled and started hurrying to get ready.

***

I stormed through the security gate at the main campus library of the University of Edinburgh where I worked as head librarian for the User Services department. I was promoted to Librarian three years ago when my boss Angus took early retirement and high-tailed it to Greece with his civil partner.