‘True that,’ said DogNut, and he gave a dismissive laugh.

They had returned to the museum in triumph, telling their stories, bigging themselves up. And now they were waiting in the Hall of Gods for Justin, who wanted to show them the work he was doing at the museum. DogNut was sitting behind Brooke, leaning over on to the back of her chair so that his right elbow was pressing against her shoulder.

He probably thought he was being clever, not being so obvious as to sit right next to her. Courtney wondered why she’d bothered going on the hunt. DogNut hadn’t even noticed whether she was there or not. She should have stayed behind and caught up with Brooke, tried to re-establish their friendship. They’d been apart for a year and it was difficult to go back to how things had been, particularly because of how she felt about DogNut. She was pleased to see, though, that Brooke still acted totally offhand towards him, calling him Donut and taking the piss the whole time. She’d scoffed that it had taken so many of them to kill one grown-up. Not letting DogNut enjoy his triumph. That didn’t mean she didn’t fancy him, though. It was just her way.

Brooke was weird with guys. Like it was all a big cruel game. If they obviously liked her, she treated them like dirt, which only seemed to make them like her more. And if they didn’t like her, if they weren’t attracted by her killer looks, she’d do everything in her power to change their minds. It didn’t matter what she thought of them. She’d encourage guys she didn’t like just so they’d hang around her and make her feel like she was the most desirable thing in the world.

Courtney wished she had that power over boys. She watched DogNut with Brooke. He was so obvious. She almost felt a little bit sorry for him, so desperate to get Brooke to take an interest in him.

Right now he was fishing, asking Brooke a load of questions. It was clear he wanted to know whether Brooke was attached. He wouldn’t come right out and ask it, though, and Brooke was pretending not to know what he was really talking about, and not giving him the sort of answers he wanted.

In the end Courtney forced it.

‘So, you got a boyfriend here then, or not?’ she asked.

‘Might have.’ Brooke leant back in her seat. Nonchalant.

‘Yeah, but have you got one?’

‘No. Of course not.’

‘Result!’ DogNut grinned.

‘I don’t got one, I got loads,’ she said. ‘I am, like, the most popular girl here. Most of the rest of them are either nerds or mingers like Jackson.’

‘Jackson’s cool,’ said DogNut.

‘You think so?’ Brooke looked horrified.

‘Yeah, she’s well hard.’

‘Right, but would you go out with her?’

‘Does she even like boys?’

‘Far as I know, but none of them will go near her. They’re scared of her.’

‘She scares me,’ said Courtney.

‘So what about you then?’ Brooke asked Courtney. ‘You got a boyfriend?’

Courtney blushed. Tried to avoid looking at DogNut. Didn’t know what to say. In the end she just shrugged.

‘Courtney’s like Jackson,’ said DogNut. ‘All the guys are scared of her.’

‘You look better since you ain’t so fat,’ said Brooke.

‘Thanks.’ Courtney loaded the word with as much sarcasm as she could.

‘No, I mean it. You’re kind of hard-looking now, muscular, like an athlete. Looks good on you.’

Courtney blushed deeper. In truth she had no idea how she looked to other people. Then she got cross. Brooke had skilfully switched the focus of attention off herself and on to Courtney. She was being deliberately vague because she didn’t want to tell them the truth.

‘So you ain’t got, like, one special guy?’ said Courtney.

‘No. No one here’s really my type.’

Brooke’s type. Courtney knew all too well what type that was. She always went for the best-looking, most popular boy around. Didn’t care if she liked him or not, but it was important to her to be seen with the guy that all the other girls wanted. The top dog. But here that was difficult, because the guys in charge were all nerds and geeks. It was hard for Brooke to operate properly. Robbie was the closest thing to a football star, but there wasn’t much going for him. He was butters, and ever since DogNut had said he was weak and not really cut out to be a leader that was how Courtney thought about him. That left the field open for DogNut to make a move. Maybe his plan would work. And once he was king of the castle Brooke would want to be seen with him.

Unless Courtney could put a stop to it somehow …

‘You should visit the Tower with us,’ she said. ‘There’s lots of fit guys there.’

‘Maybe I will.’

‘The fittest guy from the Tower ain’t home right now,’ said DogNut. ‘He’s sitting right behind you, gyal.’

Brooke turned round theatrically and pretended to be looking for someone.

‘Move out the way, Donut,’ she said, ‘I can’t see him. Where is he?’

‘Ho, ho, ho,’ said DogNut. ‘Lol and all that. I’m all you need, babes. Show me someone here in Nerdville can compete with me!’

‘That’s why you’ve come here,’ said Courtney, smiling. ‘Admit it. You’re the halfway ugly guy in the country of full-on uggs. You know that back at the Tower you don’t stand a chance. The guys there make you look like nothing.’

‘Like who?’

‘Jordan Hordern.’

‘Freak.’

‘Tomoki.’

‘Boring.’

‘Ed …’

Courtney was pleased to see a spark light up in Brooke’s eyes when she said Ed’s name. There was still something there.

‘How is he?’ Brooke asked, trying to sound casual.

‘Cool,’ said Courtney. ‘He’s, like, second in command to Jordan Hordern. Everyone really likes him.’

‘Are you in love with him then?’ said DogNut, and he made some smoochy noises with his lips.

‘Me? No.’ Courtney’s voice shot up an octave.

‘Sounds like you are.’

‘No way.’

‘You should hear yourself, Courtney. You’re, like, “Oh, Ed’s so cool, Ed’s so buff, Ed’s such a leader of men, Ed’s got lovely shoes”.’

‘I like Ed,’ said Courtney.

‘Me too,’ said Brooke, and DogNut leapt in again.

‘Yeah, well, don’t get too excited,’ he said. ‘I asked him to come along on the expedition with us and he said no thanks, not interested in finding you, said you were like ancient history.’

Courtney had to turn away to hide the massive grin that she couldn’t keep off her face. He’d said just about the worst thing he could. DogNut was fun, she loved him, but sometimes he could be pretty dense. He didn’t understand Brooke at all. Telling her that a boy wasn’t interested in her meant that she’d do everything in her power to change his mind.

Ed was a challenge now.

There was nothing Brooke hated more than a boy not being interested in her. If DogNut had said that Ed spent his whole time writing poems about her and drawing her face on walls, she would have laughed at him and crossed him off her list.

DogNut’s own naked enthusiasm was all too clear to Brooke. She would play him and tease him and offer him the odd crumb until she’d ruined his life and then go off with someone else.

‘Yeah, well,’ she said. ‘Maybe I do need to come to the Tower with you and remind Ed just what he’s missing out on.’

‘Brooke,’ said DogNut, laying everything on the table in a pathetic last-ditch stand. ‘You don’t want to go there. I came all this way to find you. Me, I did that. Not Ed. Don’t that mean nothing to you?’

Brooke put on the sort of face you would make to a crying toddler and turned to give DogNut a playful kiss.

‘Oh, Donut, you’re so sweet. You’ll make somebody a lovely husband.’

‘There’s only one person I want to marry.’

Brooke stood up, bursting with mock excitement.

‘Oh, really, really … and I know just who it is!’

‘Yeah, right,’ said DogNut, leaning back in his chair and putting his hands behind his head.