Emory sighed dramatically and wondered why in the world God had just slam-dunked her on what had been such a good week, thus far. Vanessa, really?
*
Sarah stared across the red and white checkered tablecloth at a very shell-shocked, wide-eyed Carmen. She’d managed to hold her off until the end of the workday when they could get together for a drink at Sabro’s and discuss the newest development in her life.
They sat at a table along the sidewalk so Carmen could keep an eye on her boys, who were busy wreaking havoc on the small playground across the street from the café.
Carmen set down her glass. “So you’re serious about this.”
“I’m serious.”
“I just never would have—you know what? You have a lot of explaining to do,” Carmen chastised her, changing directions. “Who is this woman? Are you a lesbian now? Why didn’t I know about any of this? That’s really my first question, why didn’t I know about any of this? I’m your best friend.” Through the anger, Sarah spotted that earnest quality in Carmen’s eyes that signaled she was hurt she’d been left out. Sarah tried to explain as best she could.
“Part of me didn’t fully realize I was feeling what I was feeling until it was well underway, and I just needed time on my own to process. I guess there was another part of me that worried about what you, what everyone, would think. This probably seems like it’s out of left field.”
“It’s definitely a lot to take in. I’ve known you since the fourth grade, and you’ve never even hinted at anything like this. We’ve scoped guys together for as long as I can remember. Granted, I did a little more of the scoping, but you were right there with me. A sidekick scoper.”
“That’s true. I scoped.”
“So, yeah, I’m a little shocked here.” She paused. “That being said, I might find a way to forgive you, but only after you tell me every last juicy detail, and leave nothing out.” Carmen leaned back in her chair and grinned expectantly.
Sarah lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “I’m not exactly sure. It was out of the blue. But now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t. It started with the house. There was coloring at the kitchen table. Then the crying on the patio outside, hers not mine, and then long talks. Mad kissing in the entryway, like socks-knocking caliber, an actual date with way too expensive wine, and then lots more kissing, groping, and pretty much all-around torture on the couch a few days ago. Now I don’t know which end is up.”
Carmen squinted. “Only because I’ve known you forever, am I able to translate half of what you just said. This is all so—wow. But it’s good? It sounds good.”
“It feels good. But the logistics are pretty dicey.”
“Okay. Well, start with the good.”
Sarah smiled. “It’s all so different than with anyone else I’ve ever dated. It’s like I crave being in her presence, and not just physically. She was my friend at first, and I deeply value that side of us too. She’s smart and funny and—”
“Rich,” Carmen supplied, grinning.
“She is that, but to be honest, that’s been more of a hindrance than anything else. There’s somewhat of a culture gap because of it.”
“But you are attracted to her physically?”
Sarah exhaled deeply and thought about Emory. Even now, with Carmen, that sneaky wave of lust overcame her. “Yeah, I really, really am.”
“But there’s been no sex.”
“Sex has not happened.”
“Do you want the sex?”
Sarah regarded Carmen seriously and took a moment to ask herself the question. Easily finding the answer, she nodded slowly.
“Wow.”
“I know. As far as sex goes, I think I’m finally starting to understand what all of the fuss is about. Listening to you go on about Roman for years and the guys you dated before him, I thought you were just an overly enthusiastic person, when actually I was the one who was out of touch. I feel this, I don’t know, jolt of heat every time I’m around her. Or even when I just think about her.”
“So what’s the problem, Juliet? There are issues?”
“Well, yeah. Am I ready to change my life this way? It’s a big lifestyle shift and not everyone is going to approve. I wish that kind of thing didn’t matter to me, but it does. It always has.”
Carmen regarded her seriously. “I remember.”
“And if it came down to it, I would need to know that she was all in first. And right now, I’m not getting that from her. Family, based on the way she was brought up, almost has a negative connotation, and so she’s leery of me, Grace, and the concept of happily ever after. She doesn’t trust it.”
“So you’re in this, but it feels like you may be in this alone?”
Sarah bit her bottom lip as she thought on this. “Yeah, I guess that’s it.”
Carmen reached across the table and squeezed Sarah’s hand. “Are you sure you haven’t bitten off more than you can chew?”
“I’m not sure, no. But what I do know is that when I’m around her, I feel more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life.”
Carmen’s face lit up listening to Sarah talk. “Aww. It’s so cute when you talk like that. Seriously, you’re all glowy. I like seeing you happy. It looks good on you.”
Tears touched the corners of Sarah’s eyes against her wishes. “Thank you. I don’t know if there’s a future here yet, but for now, it feels right. Is that crazy? Am I crazy? I feel a little crazy.”
“To want to be happy? No, Sarah, that’s not at all crazy.” And then schizophrenically switching gears the way only mothers of young children can, she yelled, “Nicholas, freeze! Put that rock down right now, mister.”
Sarah laughed and took a fortifying swig of her beer, waiting out the tongue-lashing. Once Carmen came back to her, she brought up obstacle number two hundred and twelve. “So there’s more. I received a delivery of roses from James today.”
“Oh shit, I forgot about James, and the fact that Roman introduced him to your father when he stopped by the job site earlier this week. I meant to tell you. I’ll do it now. Your father met James.”
“Oh God.”
“I know. And your mother’s already drafting a guest list for the wedding. I don’t think they’re going to take this well.”
“Probably not. Let’s not tell them. Ever.”
“Just a shot in the dark. Why not bring Emory to your brother’s birthday party next weekend? Let them get to know her first. That way, if they already like her when and if you decide to spring the relationship on them, well, that’s half the battle.” Carmen narrowed her eyes. “She is likable, isn’t she?”
Sarah smiled. “Yes, she’s very likable.” And she was. Usually. “That might not be a bad plan. You’re a smart one.”
“The smartest.” Carmen grinned. “And the cutest. You consistently forget the cutest.”
*
James stood as she approached the bar and smiled in that charming way he often smiled. This wasn’t going to be easy, but she’d put it off long enough.
Deep breath.
“Hey there, beautiful.” He kissed her cheek and pulled out the bar stool across from his. “I ordered myself a drink, but wasn’t sure what you’d like.”
“Um, a Crown and Coke,” she said to the bartender. Stronger stuff than her normal fare, but she’d need it. She turned her attention to James. “Thanks for meeting me. You’ve been so sweet about giving me time to catch my breath.”
He took her hand and held it in his lap. “I’m just glad we’re back on track. Speaking of which, how do you feel about the Eagles?”
Slight diversion. “They’re my favorite band.”
He smiled and pulled the back of her hand up for a kiss that made her discomfort level spike. “Thank God the rumors were true. They’re in town on the fifth of next month. I got us tickets.”
Her drink arrived and she took the opportunity to not only free her hand but to take a large, fortifying swallow. And then another. “About that. I asked you here because I wanted to talk. Some things have…shifted in my life and, God this is hard to say. I’ve met someone else. And this person has started to mean a lot to me.”