As Sam watched him dash off a quick text, she stared at the platinum band he wore on his left hand. She loved seeing that ring on his finger and knowing he belonged only to her for the rest of their lives. At times like this, when her world was in chaos, the sight of that thin band of metal calmed and grounded her.

He put down the phone and took hold of her hands again. “Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I’m happy for her. Truly happy for her and Angela and Gonzo and Derek and everyone else we know who has kids. It’s just that sometimes I wonder if it’s going to happen again for us.”

“I’ve been thinking about that today since Shelby was here and how we haven’t done everything we could do to make it happen.”

She was shaking her head before he finished speaking. “I’ve been through fertility treatment before. It’s hideous. I said I’d never do it again. You think I’m crazy now. You ought to see me when I’m hopped up on hormones. Plus you’d have to give me shots, which would make me hate you.” She shook her head. “I can’t do that again. I just can’t.”

“Totally up to you, but I wanted you to know I’m willing.”

She raised a brow and tipped her head. “And you know what would be required of you?”

“Umm, no, not really.”

Sam covered her mouth but was unable to suppress her laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe, let alone speak. “Suffice to say it would involve your hand and lots of porn.”

“Jesus, Sam.”

“What? I speak the truth.”

“Whatever. Have your laughs. I’d do it for you if you wanted me to.”

She moved from her chair into his lap. “And I love you for that. I really do, but I can’t go through that again. It was a nightmare the other two times, and it was all for nothing. I say we keep doing what we’re doing, and if it happens, it happens. If not, I’ll find a way to live with the many blessings we already have.”

“Nothing has to be decided right here and now. If you want to think about it—”

She kissed him. “Nothing to think about. That’s not something I’m willing to put myself through again, and it would take all the romance out of a pretty good marriage.”

“A pretty good marriage?”

“An above-average marriage.”

“Above average?”

“A spectacular, amazing, fantastic, wonderful, beyond-all-expectations marriage. Better?”

“Much.”

“Why would we mess with that?”

“To give you what you want most in the world?”

“I already have more than I ever dreamed possible with you and Scotty. I promise that’s enough for me. Anything more would be frosting on an already amazing cake.”

“It is pretty good cake.”

“Just pretty good?”

“Astonishing, delicious, delectable, mouthwatering. Best cake I ever had. Better?”

She smiled and then kissed him again. “So much better.”

Chapter Fourteen

Stretched out on Avery’s sofa, Shelby eyed her phone on the coffee table but made no move to reach for it even though she’d heard it chime with a new text. She who never let a text go unanswered couldn’t be bothered to even read this one. What did it matter?

He’d refused to take her home because he wanted to take care of her.

She’d lacked the wherewithal to fight with him.

Hindsight, she’d discovered this afternoon and evening, was an interesting perspective. So many things made sense now that she knew the truth. She thought about the time Avery had brought Sam home after Willie Vasquez’s murder. Nick had arrived while she talked to Avery outside Sam and Nick’s house. After Avery left, she’d talked to Nick about her desire to date the FBI agent. Nick had been all for it. Now she knew why. It wasn’t because he thought she and Avery would make for a good couple. It was because Nick wanted Avery to date someone else, so he wouldn’t pose a threat to Nick’s marriage.

More than anything she felt like a fool. Three people she was close to had kept the truth from her for months. They’d let her get invested in her relationship with Avery. They’d let her think that maybe this time, finally, she’d get her happy ending. But all the while they knew who Avery really wanted and couldn’t have.

She recalled how she’d asked Nick if he’d mind if she went out with Hill. “Hell, no,” he’d said. “Go. Have a great time. By all means.” She’d found that odd at the time because she’d already picked up on the fact that Nick didn’t like Avery—and Nick seemed to like everyone.

“So stupid,” she whispered.

Avery came into the room carrying a steaming mug of the tea he kept on hand for her.

Shelby had once been charmed when she realized he’d gotten her favorite tea. Now, like everything else about him, the hot tea left her cold.

With his offering in hand, he sat on the coffee table and held it out to her.

Shelby forced herself to sit up, to take the mug, to take a sip and to not look at him.

“I’m sorry, Shelby. I can only imagine what you must be thinking, but I promise you that what has happened between us had nothing to do with anyone but you and me.”

“So the fact that you were in love with my friend and employer had nothing at all to do with us?”

“I’m not in love with her. I was never in love with her. I was...infatuated.”

“Infatuated. How nice. And while you were infatuated with my friend, you decided to go out with me so you could stay close to her.”

“That’s not true. I see her at work all the time. I didn’t need to go out with you to stay close to her. Nothing ever happened between us. It was just a one-sided thing that is now in the past.”

“All this time, I couldn’t figure out why Nick Cappuano, who likes everyone, doesn’t like you. I mean, on paper, you’re his kind of guy—accomplished, athletic, charming. The two of you should’ve been the best of friends and yet you aren’t. I couldn’t figure out why. But now it all makes sense. He hates you because you want his wife.”

“I don’t want his wife. I like her. I admire her. I understand that she’s extremely married, and I’d never get in the way of that or cause trouble for either of them. It was a crush. Past tense.” He placed a cashmere throw over her lap and tucked her hair behind her ear.

She ought to tell him to stop touching her, but she liked when he touched her.

“The crush I have on you, on the other hand, is very much present tense.”

Shelby shook her head. “Don’t say that stuff.”

“Why not? It’s the truth. Do you think I would spend most nights with you if I didn’t care about you? Do you think I’d tag along on your dates with Scotty if I didn’t really enjoy both of you?” He leaned in to kiss her forehead and then her cheek. “Do you think I’d make love to you every chance I got if I didn’t truly want to?”

“I honestly don’t know what to think. I’m confused.”

“Nothing to be confused about. You and I are together, and we have been for a while now. She and I are colleagues. That’s all we’ve ever been, and all we’ll ever be.”

“Hypothetically, if she weren’t married anymore, would you still be interested in me?”

“Yes, I would. Do you think I’ve just been killing time with you while waiting for a perfectly healthy young guy to kick the bucket so I could move in on his wife?”

That glorious South Carolinian accent, those golden eyes, the cheekbones... She was crazy about him. Or she had been until she found out he was crazy about Sam.

“You’re blowing this way out of proportion, you know,” he said.

“How am I doing that? Three people I care about and trust have kept a very big piece of information from me for a very long time. I feel like a fool.” She felt like an even bigger fool when her eyes filled with tears. Again.

“I’m so, so sorry. I never wanted you to know that I used to have feelings for her, but I felt like I was lying to you by not telling you, and I didn’t like that either. My feelings for her were silly feelings compared to what I feel for you. Those are real feelings. She was a fantasy. You are real and amazing and funny and formidable and adorable and—”