Beth’s face showed no sign of surprise at Kat’s reaction. “I came to talk to you.”
Kat let out a bark of sarcastic laughter. “I have nothing to say to you.”
She turned back to the elevator and pressed the already lit button, praying for it to hurry up.
“You look well,” Beth murmured. “You look really well.”
“Why do you care?” Kat remarked with no inflection to her voice. She turned, crossing her arms defensively. “Look, you’d better hurry back. I’m sure Adam and Austin are eager for you to get back to them to tell them all of my dirty secrets.”
“They don’t know I’m here,” Beth replied, anxiety prevalent in her wide eyes. “I told Adam I was going to get some ice cream.”
Kat’s anger turned to confusion.
“I’m so sorry, Kat. Truly.”
Kat remained apathetic. “And?” she asked with a lackadaisical shrug of her shoulders. She was intrigued as to what had caused Beth’s sudden attack of conscience, although, if it was a trap, then God help her.
“And I wanted you to know that.”
“Fine,” Kat countered, pressing the elevator button again. “You’ve said you’re sorry. Now your conscience is clear, and you can leave.”
Ordinarily, Kat’s brusque attitude would have made Kat feel bad, but a quick apology wouldn’t erase the secrets hanging in the air around them like a noxious gas.
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
Kat froze, unblinking, praying her poker face was enough.
“I know you,” Beth said quietly. “I can see it.” She stepped closer. “Is he good to you? Does he treat you right?”
Kat bit the inside of her mouth. She stayed silent, fighting the urge to run far away. She knew trusting Beth was a mistake.
“You look happy,” Beth continued in a voice Kat remembered fondly. “Love suits you. I know he must be a good man to make you glow the way you are.” Her eyes flitted over Kat’s face. “I know it’s too little too late, but I can admit when I’m wrong.” She sighed despondently. “Adam explained a few things. He told me about Carter and Austin. The way Austin was when they were all growing up.”
“Yeah,” Kat countered sharply. “Carter told me about it, too.”
Remorse whispered across Beth, weighing down her shoulders, making her smaller. “I know Carter isn’t bad, and I know that with him you’re safe. I should’ve trusted your judgment, and I didn’t. For that I apologize.”
Paranoia flared up Kat’s spine. “So now you can go and confirm it all to Austin, can’t you?”
“That’s not why I came,” Beth muttered toward the floor before she started to rifle through her bag. She pulled out two brown folders. “I wanted to give you these.”
Kat took them. “And what are they?”
“They’re jobs.”
Kat cocked an incredulous eyebrow.
“Teaching jobs with starting dates for the new year,” Beth added. “One of them is at the school where I’m currently working. I think you’d be perfect, so …” She cleared her throat and glanced at the ceiling. “I know I went about it in entirely the wrong way, and I will always be sorry for that, but I want you to be happy, and I know Carter does that. But if you’re with him, you have to be careful. If Austin finds out you two are in love he could use it—”
“What? You tried to set me up with this guy. Why would you do that when you know what he’s like?”
“He isn’t a bad guy, Kat,” Beth replied firmly. “But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t make bad decisions. He has to answer to many important people, and they want Carter out, too. He’s under a lot of pressure. I heard about Ben’s visit to the office. Austin’s going nuts trying to find a way to get Carter out. Adam said he’s never seen his brother so angry, so dangerous, and …” She pulled her bag onto her shoulder, breathing deeply. “Just look at the folders. If you’re Carter’s tutor and you’re together, you’re both at risk. Think about Ward, the board, the nonfraternization policy you agreed to. There is so much at stake.”
“You think I don’t know …” Kat snapped her mouth shut. She’d already said too much.
Beth’s smile was small but knowing. “Think about it. I’m here if you want to talk. We could go for coffee, or …” Beth moved her hand toward Kat, but let it drop before she reached her. “I’m sorry and I miss you.”
She hesitated before she closed her coat around herself. With one more repentant stare, she turned, walked across the lobby, and left.
* * *
Carter kissed Kat’s hair and nuzzled her temple. They were fully clothed, under the covers of her bed, where Carter had placed her after she’d almost strangled him when he arrived at the apartment a half hour earlier. She’d flung herself at him and he’d shushed and soothed her, while she explained what had happened with Beth.
“I’m so scared, Carter. I’m scared she’s doing this so she has proof that we’re together. I’m afraid she’ll go to Austin and he’ll use that against you. I never thought that sending Ben would— I’m terrified he’ll threaten you and take you away from me. And I can’t—I can’t lose you, I …”
Carter kissed her, swallowing her concerns. The tremors of fear ran up her spine under his touch. He hated it. He’d fucking kill Austin if he dared to take his Peaches from him. Let the fucker try.
“He can’t do anything. I won’t let him.” His voice grew dark, menacing. “If he wants the company he can fucking have it. The money means nothing. All I want is you.”
She nodded hopelessly, turning Carter’s anger into panic. He was losing her.
“We can’t let them win,” he said, seizing her chin. “After this weekend, you have to promise me you won’t let them win.” She shook her head, but it didn’t appease him. He held her jaw. “Say the words, baby. I need to hear them.”
“I won’t let them win. I promise you.”
He groaned in a mixture of frustration and desire.
His tongue lay flaccid and unusable at the bottom of his mouth. He gritted his teeth. How could he not tell her how he felt? His body was bursting at the seams with emotions for her, and he simply could not express any of them. He kissed her neck and knotted his fingers in her hair, silently fuming and cursing himself.
“If I take one of those jobs, I won’t be your tutor anymore,” Kat mumbled sadly against his rough cheek.
He’d think about having a new tutor and the antagonism he would feel toward them later. Now was not the time. “But I’ll still have you, right?”
She slid her palm down the side of his face. “You’ll have all of me.”
He gripped the back of her knee and pulled it higher above his hip. She pushed her hands under his T-shirt, her nails grazing his back, while her tongue pushed into his mouth. He could taste her fear and pushed back just as hard to soothe her.
“Fuck them, Kat,” he growled. “Come back to me. Be here with me. Right now,” he demanded. “Don’t think about them. Just think about us.”
There was so much to discuss. So much to think about. There was so much at risk that could tear them apart. Carter clenched his eyes shut, pushing his dread as far away as he could. As long as they were together, he thought, everything would be all right.
“Make me forget. Please,” she begged. “Make me forget all of them.”
Carter rolled her onto her back, hovering above her. “Anything.”
29
Days passed, gradually folding into weeks as Kat and Carter continued to fold into each other. Cautious and careful, they continued to meet at the library three days a week, working as they were expected, while at night they worshipped each other’s bodies in an effort to keep at bay the things that threatened to tear them apart. For those sweet, blissful hours when their limbs entangled and their names became frenzied gasps of pleasure, everything floated away, leaving them to imagine what being together without worry or recrimination would be like.
Carter watched his Peaches carefully from one day to the next, hopelessly aware that the strain of their situation had begun chipping away at her resolve. Outwardly, she appeared the same, beautiful and put together, but he’d begun to notice, when they were alone, she held on to him a little tighter, touched him more frequently, more fervently, as though terrified that what they’d built together would collapse around them at any second.