Kat wasn’t sure that she and Carter were anywhere near the meeting-the-family stage quite yet, but she’d offered to think about it. She couldn’t begin to express how much her Nana’s support and confidence meant to her. Words just didn’t seem adequate.
“Just promise me that you’ll try to talk to your mother, Kat,” she had said. “You don’t need to tell her everything, just try.”
“I promise,” Kat had conceded.
But when she’d brought up the subject of her job in conversation that morning, Kat had been met with huffs and tapping fingers. Eva interjected continuously with disagreeable and venomous comments. Her tone had been condescending and dismissive at best and Kat’s patience had begun to dwindle even further. Something was about ready to give. Kat was sick of the whole it’s-oh-so-dangerous spiel. Just once she’d like to be treated like an adult. She wanted understanding, not judgment.
As the celebrations continued, the bland, polite conversation began in earnest among Beth, Adam, and Eva, while Kat stayed at the side of the room, smiling politely at those who approached and spoke so respectfully of her father. As much as she wanted to be sociable, Kat couldn’t find it in herself. The inexplicable distance between her and Beth, mixed with the exasperated glances from her mother, made her heart ache.
“—outside the prison with that cretin, Carter.” Eva spat Carter’s name as if it were a dirty word, pricking Kat’s ears and dragging her from her safe spot by the wall into the conversation.
“Mom, he’s not—” Kat began, but stopped when three sets of disapproving eyes landed on her.
The heaviness in her stomach began to spread and she wondered why, when surrounded by her family and friends, she felt so alone. Carter’s voice was all she wanted to hear. She needed to talk to him and take comfort in his no-bullshit honesty, to be assured that the risks she was willing to take with him would be worth it.
“Never mind,” she muttered before excusing herself and hurrying up the stairs to the bathroom, with Reggie close on her heels. Leaving the dog in the hallway, Kat closed the door and leaned her forehead against it.
Jesus, it was like being suffocated. She wanted her father. She wanted to see his face, hear his calm, patient voice, and smell his warm, deep cherry scent. He’d know what to say to make it right. He always did. Either that or he would squeeze her to his chest so hard she would forget what she was so upset about in the first place.
The tears threatened to spill, but it wasn’t the time.
Going to the messages on her cell, she typed a quick one to Carter. Kat’s thumbs flew over the screen.
Are you busy? Wanna talk?
The knock at the door of the bathroom coincided with Kat’s thumb pressing the send button. Opening the door slowly, she wasn’t surprised to see Beth standing on the other side.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” Beth replied. “You all right?”
No more bullshit. Cards on the table. “No.”
Beth’s eyes dropped to the floor. “I didn’t think so.”
Kat lifted her shoulders in question. “What’s going on, Beth?” she asked. “I mean, I feel like I’m missing something. You were so supportive when I started at Kill. You sat with me while I spilled my guts to you about Carter, and now— I don’t know.”
“It’s … difficult to explain.”
“What’s difficult? I thought you were on my side. Is this because of Austin?”
Beth’s head shot up.
Kat closed her eyes in regret. “I’m sorry if I led him on, but we only kissed that once, and I was clear that we should take it slow, if at all. I’m so confused with everything. I didn’t—”
Beth’s face flashed with incredulity. “Are you—are you sleeping with Carter?”
Kat’s temper flared. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no, I’m not.”
“This is getting out of hand, Kat. Do you even know him?” Beth continued, becoming vehement. “I mean, has he told you about all the times he’s been in jail, told you the reasons why?”
“How the—”
“Your mom’s right. You’re putting yourself in danger, your work, your—”
“You don’t know him. He’s different.”
“Oh, Katherine, please.” Beth crossed her arms. “That’s lust talking, nothing more.”
“Don’t speak to me like I’m a child, Beth,” Kat snapped, moving closer. “I get enough of that from my mother. I don’t need it from my friend.”
“I’m speaking to you like a child because you’re acting like one, and because I love you and want what’s best for you, and because I’ve held my tongue for too long. He’s. Your. Student, Kat, and a criminal. You’re putting your whole career on the line for a stupid crush that’s going nowhere.”
“And what the hell would you know?” Kat’s voice burst from her louder than she intended.
“I know a damn sight more than you,” Beth replied tellingly.
“Then why don’t you enlighten me, huh?”
“Everything okay here?” Adam’s concerned voice came from the top of the stairs.
“No,” Kat retorted.
Adam glanced nervously at his fiancée, who looked back with a tiny shake of her head.
Kat’s hands rested firmly on her hips while her eyes flicked between them. “It seems I’m a little out of the loop here. Is someone gonna tell me what the hell’s going on?”
Adam placed his hand in Beth’s. His eyes were determined yet cautious as he took a deep breath and said, “He’s my cousin.”
Kat saw Beth’s stare drop to the floor. “Who’s your cousin?” she asked impatiently.
As Adam opened his mouth to answer, Kat’s phone began singing in her hand. She grimaced and glanced at the screen.
Carter.
Adam reached out to tap her cell phone with his finger. “He is my cousin.”
Kat slowly pressed decline as Adam’s words buzzed in her head, her brain trying to make sense of them, to put them in an order that she could understand.
Carter was Adam’s cousin.
They were related.
But that would mean …
“Oh, God.” Kat swayed and grabbed on to the doorframe.
Austin.
Beth reached for her, but Kat pulled her arm out of her grasp.
Beth immediately appeared contrite. “I wanted to tell you, but—”
“You knew,” Kat whispered. Her head throbbed with an emotion so heavy it almost brought her to her knees. “When I told you about kissing Carter. You knew.”
Adam nearly choked. “You kissed him?”
“Yes,” Beth answered resolutely. She placed a hand on Adam’s chest but kept her eyes on Kat. “I did know. Adam told me. But, Kat, it wasn’t my place.”
“Bullshit!” Kat’s palm slapped the door of the bathroom. All the pieces began to fall into place: the distance between her and Beth, the loaded looks between Adam and Austin when she told them where she worked and about Carter’s parole. Their deceitfulness screamed through her.
“You could have told me at any time; you both could have,” Kat seethed. “And Austin! But you all chose not to because, like every other person in my life, you treat me like a kid who doesn’t know any better.”
“I thought you’d get over it,” Beth protested. “I thought you’d move on before you got in too deep. We all thought if you gave Austin a chance—”
“Wait. ‘We’?”
“Adam told me Carter’s done some serious shit. He’s bad news and he’s your student, Kat. Do you not understand the ramifications of that? You kissed your student!”
“Yeah, I did. Twice,” Kat exploded. “And I fucking enjoyed it.”
“Katherine!”
All three of them turned to see Eva standing with a look of disgust directed straight at Kat. “You—you kissed that … that man?” she asked, her voice dangerously quiet.
Breathless and trying to numb out the shame of what she was about to do, Kat pushed past Beth and Adam, and headed to her bedroom. The smothering was reaching epic proportions, and the hammering in her brain was sending her almost hysterical. We? They’d all known, all tried to keep her away from Carter. The new friendship between her mother and Beth, the persistence of Austin. It all made sense now. She suddenly felt sick.