“It takes a while to get used to it. I mean, it always hurts like a mother fucker, but you know what to expect.” We’re interrupted when the waitress comes over.
“Hey, Rob.” She greets him by name and then her eyes veer to me. “Do you guys need menus?”
“I don’t, but she might.” He points over at me, and I shake my head. Figuring it’s a diner, I can assume what they serve and what I’ll order. “I guess we’re ready, Jackie,” he informs her, and I feel as though I should be introduced, since they’re on first name bases with one another.
Rob orders a Reuben sandwich, and I order a hamburger. We sit and wait while the food is prepared, neither of us talking about anything of consequence. My mind drifts back to Dex and him inside of Sam at the moment. The image of his sweating body slipping along hers while he thrusts in and out burns my thoughts. Her screams of ecstasy and him groaning, practically a soundtrack in my ears. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to sleep in my room with the two of them next door. My only hope is she vanishes somewhere else tonight, but even I know there’s a slim chance of that.
We eat our meals, talking mostly about Rob’s last tour and music. He never asks me about Dex, and I try not to bring his name up. I’m not oblivious that the guy sitting across from me knows more about the Dex Prescott of the last four years than I do. Is Dex’s bedroom a revolving door of girls? Did he ever have a serious relationship? I don’t even know if I want those details to be embedded in my mind to obsess about over and over again. Especially, since Sam has been enough to occupy most of my thoughts so far.
Later, when we return home and walk through the backdoor, I’m thankful Rob was able to distract me for a few hours. But as soon as we left the diner, my stomach tightened with the thought of Dex and Sam together. I almost asked Rob to trade bedrooms with me for the night for the assurance of silence.
The whole house is dark except for a light flickering in the living room. Sadie and Brady and their late night movies. I stop Rob in the kitchen because I want to be alone when I thank him. In the past week, I’ve noticed Rob puts up a show in front of others, and I want us both to be genuine in this moment. I have no idea what he did in the past, but in my opinion, he’s selfless and put my needs before his own tonight.
“Thank you, Rob.” I inch up so that my lips can reach his cheek.
“You’re welcome,” he murmurs, and then I wrap my arms around his neck. Pressing myself against him, he in turn places his hands on my hips and we hug one another.
“You should let people see this side of you,” I whisper softly, and his body jiggles from a small laugh.
“Don’t tell anyone,” he says. “Can’t let my image be tainted.” I laugh.
There in the kitchen, with only the glow of a light from the living room streaming in, I figured out why Jessa ever dated Rob in the first place. Behind that asshole shield is a caring guy who sees things around him others don’t. I assume he might have known from our first meeting that Dex holds a place inside my heart.
Lights flick on, and I squint to see the person responsible for it. When I push away from Rob, my eyes find Dex standing in the doorway, his jaw clenched, his chest rising and falling with both hands gripping the sides of the frame. “What the fuck is going on here?”
“Nothing,” I say and touch Rob’s forearm, staring up at him with appreciation. Not able to look at Dex, I begin to leave the confines of the kitchen when Dex grabs my wrist.
“Chrissy?” He cocks his head to the side in a give me a break, you were about to fuck him act.
“You think you have a say in who I go out with?” I defiantly ask him, yanking my arm out of his grip.
“It definitely won’t be him,” he sneers, and Rob steps up.
“Why the hell not? I’m a hell of a better guy than you,” Rob spats back, and I rush to step in between them.
“You have to be shittin’ me,” Dex continues, and I kind of want to agree with Rob on this one.
“Do you even realize what an asshole you are? How can you be so fucking blind?” Rob yells, and I press my hands down to get them to quiet down. The last thing we need is the whole house to wake up.
“Why don’t you enlighten me, Rob.” Dex eggs him on, crossing his arms on his chest.
“Rob, just let this go,” I insist, but he takes his hand and gently nudges me to the side. “I can’t handle this right now.” I escape down the hall, stopping at the stairs to overhear.
Rob continues talking. “You two walk around referring to each other as friends. Let me tell you something, friends don’t look at each other every time the other walks in like no one else is in the room. Friends don’t dance close at a bar and make-out in front of a group of people like they want to fuck each other’s brains out,” Rob says, revealing he saw us last night.
“We were drunk,” Dex throws back, and my misery comes to the surface that all I was to him was a drunken fuck. Well, almost a drunken fuck.
“That makes it worse. You want to know why I’ve befriended Chrissy?”
“Go for it,” Dex grits out through clenched teeth.
“She needs someone, and you’re so fucking twisted up, you can’t decide whether to be with her or not. Then you bring Sam back here? What the hell were you thinking? That you could just fuck her with Chrissy next door? You say Chrissy’s just your friend while everyone else around you knows better. If you can’t admit your feelings for her, at least actually be a friend and be considerate of her feelings.”
“You’re actually giving me advice on how to be a friend?” Dex hammers back.
Rob laughs. “Yeah, I guess I am,” he arrogantly says, and the next thing I hear is a hard smash from what I assume is a fist to the wall.
“You’re the worst friend,” Dex says, and I can’t help but feel I’m overhearing grade-schoolers arguing on a playground.
“Sorry to tell you, buddy, you took the cake on that title tonight.” The back door opens and slams shut. Not knowing if it was Dex or Rob, I walk up the stairs, scrambling into the safe confines of my room.
Lying in bed, I wait for the footsteps to come, telling me that Dex has gone back to bed with Sam or that Rob went into his room. But they never come, and the silence eventually relaxes me slightly. Hope that maybe I am more to Dex than he admits. Putting my headphones in, I allow the music to soothe me to sleep so I won’t be woken up by noises of lust from Dex and Sam.
THE CLOCK ON my dashboard glares that it’s after three in the morning by the time I pull back into the driveway. Grabbing my envelope from the passenger seat, I stuff it under my shirt and tuck it in my waistband just in case anyone’s up. The guilt from Rob’s words sent me to my dad’s. Nothing like a few bets and wins to lift my mood and distract from my overworking mind that’s plagued me for the past week. Some days, I wonder why I even bother with school when I could easily earn my living gambling.
The stairs creak and shift as my heavy footsteps rise to the top. Stopping at Chrissy’s door, I place my palm against it, wanting nothing more than to retreat in and climb under her blankets. But with doubt too high, I lower it back down and make the way to my room. Sam’s light snores echo in the room, bringing the anxiety of my situation to the surface. I use the flashlight on my phone to light my way to the safe in the closet and stuff the envelope in there as fast as I can. Like a damn stalker, I stand over Sam and for a second I debate in my head to either climb in next to her or sleep down the hall. Rob’s words ring in my ears, reminding me what a shit move it was bringing her back here in the first place. Then thinking of Chrissy asleep right next door makes me feel like even lower of a person.