When I peek into the room, I see Phoenix is still fast asleep. He won’t know what I’m about to do. He let his guard down. He fell for my charm, and then my fear. And when I showed him my tears … he succumbed to my love. He lost control over the reins, and now they’re in my hands. Quite literally, actually, as I’m holding the leash that’s still chained to the band around my neck.

With my free hands, I touch the metal, and surprisingly, it doesn’t feel weird anymore. Even if I had the time to search for the key to take this off, I’m not sure I could. I don’t know why … it just feels strange to even think about it.

But I can’t digress. No time to lose when my life is on the line. Even when he says he won’t kill me, I know it’s not true. He has it in him, the power to lose control over himself. All it takes is a snap … and a snap I hold. He still hasn’t asked me something, and if he knows the answer, I won’t see the light of day. I’m sure of it.

I made some very bad decisions in my life. I don’t regret making them. I only regret involving Phoenix.

No matter how much has changed, we’re still walking bombs, ready to explode. And I just can’t let that happen. Not again.

***

PHOENIX

A beeper goes off, and I shoot up from the bed, covered in sweat. I glance to my side, and notice Vanessa is missing. I immediately search the room, but she’s nowhere to be found.

Shit!

I pick up the beeper on the shelf as I rush to put on some pants, tucking my gun into my back pocket. I didn’t recognize the sound at first, but I know what it is. It means I can’t trust her.

I storm downstairs, screaming, “Vanessa!”

She’s jerking the front door. “Open, you piece of shit!”

As I come downstairs, I can see she has the key already stuffed in the lock. Too bad for her, I changed the locks while she was still in the cage upstairs. She doesn’t know, and when she turns around to look at me, the anger that settles in her eyes pisses me off.

“Stop, now,” I growl.

“No, get away from me!” she yells.

I hold up the beeper. “I know you’re trying to escape.”

She glances at it shortly, and then her hand drifts up to her collar, her eyes connecting with mine. She knows. And the defeated look on her face makes me want to rush down there and punish her for even thinking she could get away with it.

“Why? Tell me why?”

“Why?” She makes a face. “Isn’t it obvious? You’re keeping me a prisoner in my own house.”

“You said you loved me,” I say, pointing at her while walking down.

“So? You think that makes it okay that you’re keeping me locked up in here? And this collar around my neck?” She raises her voice in a way that makes me want to drag her back upstairs and spank her ass.

“You’re infuriating, Princess. Don’t make me come down there and drag you back upstairs. You know what’s going to happen.”

“No. I’m not going to let you hurt me. Not anymore.”

My lip twitches. “And what makes you think you don’t deserve it?”

“I never said that,” she says, cocking her head. “But I don’t live for redemption.”

“No, you live for lying. You’re a liar, just like you’ve always been.” I stomp downstairs.

“Call me whatever you want. I don’t care,” she says.

And then she suddenly pulls a gun out of the pocket of her gown. “Stay away from me!”

“So, you went through my bags, huh?” I say. “Your cuffs are gone, and that’s my gun.”

“Who gives a shit? You’re going to open this door, or I’m going to shoot you,” she yells.

I make a face, disgusted with her behavior. Why is she doing this? “You won’t.”

“Yes, I will, Phoenix. Don’t come closer, or I’ll fucking shoot you.”

I ignore her threats and step closer.

She fires a shot.

Groaning, I bear the pain of the bullet lodged in my shoulder.

“I’m not a liar; contrary to what you think. I think I just proved it.”

“You are a fucking liar,” I say, swallowing away the pain. “You hugged me yesterday. You came to me. You can’t tell me that’s a lie.”

“I just want to get out of here,” she says.

“And you’d do anything for it,” I say, wincing, fighting the anger. “You’d make me believe you loved me.”

“I said I loved you, yes,” she says.

“Are you telling me you fucking lied about that too, huh?” I yell, unable to control my fury.

I step closer, not giving a damn about that gun in her hand anymore. She fucking lied to me, again.

“You said you still loved me,” I repeat. “You fucking lied to my fucking face?”

“I told you what you needed to hear,” she says. “Now give me the goddamn key to the door.”

She manipulated me. She made me believe there was still something left of us, something worth fighting for. “I don’t fucking believe you.”

She stares at me, and I don’t tear my gaze away from her either. I want her to face what she’s done; I want her to see the wreckage she’s leaving behind. I won’t let her get away with this. If she doesn't feel remorse, I’ll make her feel it.

I reach into my back pocket and take out my own gun, aiming it at her the moment she tries to raise hers. She’s too late because I’ve already got my gun locked on top of her forehead. “Don’t make a fucking move.”

Her breathing comes out in short gasps. “I just want to be free.”

“I don’t give a damn what you want. You betrayed me. You lied to me. You fucking put me in jail!” I scream, pushing the gun into her skin, causing a red mark to appear. “Now give me the fucking gun!”

She holds up her hand, but she’s not even shivering as I take it from her and throw it away. Her body is rigid, her eyes cool, her face unmoving. It’s like she’s completely lost the will to care … or to feel. Or she doesn’t allow herself to. All these years she’s worn this mask, a fake face of perfection, and now she’s trying to put it back on again.

“You fucking liar … you don’t fucking love me,” I hiss. “It was all a lie, wasn’t it?”

She doesn’t answer me as I circle her, pushing her forward through the hall.

“Tell me the truth for once!” I growl.

Suddenly, she turns around and grabs my wrist, pulling my arm to the side, knocking the gun out of my hand with a quick jab. She’s fearless, merciless, in a way I’ve never seen her before.

I didn’t know she could do this … fight like a warrior. She’s been hiding her true self from me all this time.

“I didn’t want to do this, Phoenix, but you give me no choice,” she says, kicking me in the nuts.

I bend over from the pain, trying to regain my strength to pull her away from the gun she’s trying to grab. I lunge on top of her, throwing her down on the ground. She’s underneath me, fighting me off with quick punches and nails sharp as knives.

“Get off me!” she screams.

“I don’t fucking believe it,” I growl. “No matter how many times you make me want to believe you don’t love me, I don’t want to fucking believe it. I won’t!” I shove her to the ground as she turns around to scratch me in my face.

“How could I, after what you did?” she screams.

“What I did?” I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

“You tried to have me put in jail,” she yells.

Oh, now I know what she’s talking about. “And instead you put me in jail. You’re just as evil as me.”

“You deserved it after going after me,” she says, slapping me.

I hold her down, grasp her wrists, and pin them to her chest. “I didn’t go after you; I went after your husband. You got in the way.”

“You killed him!” she yells, trying to kick. “I hate you. I fucking hate you!”

The way she says these words cuts into my heart, almost ripping it out of my chest. I can’t believe what she’s saying because I don’t want to. I don’t want to hear it, and I won’t.

I grasp her neck just below the collar and push down, squeezing tight. “You don’t want to be with me? You hate me now?”

She grabs my wrists, fighting with everything she has, but she’s no match for my strength. I choke her until she’s gasping for breath. “Say it again, Vanessa! Say it! Prove to me how much you fucking hate me so I can kill you right now and get it over with because I don’t fucking care anymore,” I growl, squeezing her throat tight. “If I can’t love you, no one can.”