Tilting my head, I keep my back to him, absorbing his words, the pain behind them. Those two suffered, I know that much. When I first hired Fable, I thought Drew was a bad influence on her. I thought he was some slick-talking asshole ready to slide into her life, mess with her head, and then dump her.

Turns out he was the best thing that ever happened to Fable. They’re good for each other. Balance each other out. I would never say this out loud, but . . . I’m jealous of their relationship. They love each other fiercely, are so damn protective of each other.

I want that. Most likely I could have that. With Jen.

Could you? Could you really? Or have you already ruined it?

“I’m an asshole.” Slowly, I turn to face him, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “Is that what you’re trying to tell me? Because I’d have to agree.”

Drew smiles. “That’s not all I want you to take away from this, but yeah. Stop being an asshole. And stop denying yourself what you feel. Go with it. Be with her. You want to be with her, don’t you?”

I offer the tiniest nod in answer but can’t make a sound. Just the idea of confirming that I want Jen with actual words to another person chokes me up.

Having Jen means I need to open myself up to her completely. The thought of that is scary. What if she doesn’t like what she sees? What if I disappoint her? It could happen. I disappoint everyone in my life. My mom, my dad, Danny.

It’s easier to pretend she’s only my friend rather than admit I want more. The idea of her rejection scares the hell out of me.

“Then tell her. At the very least, show her.” He pauses. “She deserves it, after what she’s suffered. With the loss of Danny, and . . .” His voice trails off and I wonder what else he’s talking about.

Probably me, and everything I’ve done to her to let her down.

“I’ve done her wrong.” My voice cracks and I clear my throat. “I did her entire family wrong. I’ve broken promises I’ve made to her family throughout the years again and again.”

“What sort of promises?” Drew asks, interrupting me.

I stop and stare at him. “What did you say?”

“I asked what sort of promises did you break? I’m curious.” He holds his hands up in front of him when I send him a thunderous glare. “I know it’s none of my business. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

I swore I would stand by Danny no matter what. And when I didn’t do that, I promised my best friend I would take care of his sister. I promised their parents I would take care of the both of them. I lost Danny and wanted to save Jen—and I did so. But I broke that promise, too. I swore nothing bad would happen to her. Terrible, awful things happened to Jen when she was at Gold Diggers.

I failed on all counts.

“I promised Danny we would join the military the same day together and I bailed.” Just saying the words aloud fills me with regret.

“Why didn’t you sign up?”

“My dad made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. He gave me a restaurant to run, my very own business that would belong only to me, with the potential for more.” What kid wouldn’t jump at that opportunity?

“What else?” Drew prompts, pushing me, and I cave willingly.

“I promised Danny I would take care of his sister. I failed at that too.” Big time. “I—I don’t deserve her.”

“You really believe that?” Drew asks quietly.

I hate how calm he looks, how sure he is of himself in this very moment, while my emotions are all over the damn place. I’m the confident one. I’m the one that never lets anything bother him, who can take care of every situation and make it all right once more.

With the exception of the entire Cade family. I screw them over again and again.

“Yeah,” I finally answer.

“Then prove yourself wrong, man.” Drew shakes his head. “Prove yourself wrong.”

Chapter 9

Jen

“Rise and shine, sweet cheeks.”

I snuggle closer into my pillow, squeezing my eyes shut against the early morning sunlight streaming into my room. I know I didn’t leave the blinds open before I went to bed. I must be dreaming. And no way is Colin in my room calling me sweet cheeks. I mean, what the hell?

“Jennifer Lynn Cade.” He gives my shoulder a shake and I shrug his hand off, totally aware of the heat from his touch on my skin. “If we want to make it to Sacramento at a decent hour, you need to get up and get ready.”

Okay. Something is definitely wrong with this picture. First, Colin is most definitely in my room. Usually I’m the one in his room trying to wake him up from yet another terrible dream that tends to send him deeper into this downward spiral of self-hatred.

Second, Colin sounds downright affectionate. What the hell?

“Lazy,” he murmurs just before he slaps—yes, slaps—my ass. “Come on, sweet cheeks. Let’s do this.”

I scooch my sweet cheeks away from where I can feel him sitting on my bed. Cracking my eyes open, I find him right next to me, wearing jeans and a dark blue T-shirt that stretches across his shoulders and chest in the yummiest way. The man is as big as a mountain and I’m ready to climb him. “Did you just call me what I think you called me?”

He smiles, and it’s like a billion tiny daggers straight to my heart. I can practically feel it cracking in my chest, he’s so damn beautiful. “Considering your ass is hanging out of those tiny shorts you’re wearing at the moment, I think I can say on proper authority that your cheeks are pretty damn sweet.”

“Oh my God.” The cheeks on my face are so hot my skin feels like it’s going to catch fire as I jerk the blankets back over me. I didn’t even realize I was only half-covered by the comforter and that he could see the tiny shorts I wear to bed. Sans panties.

How freaking mortifying!

His mood doesn’t fit. Lately he’s been so somber and sullen and Mister Downer, I’m surprised to see the smile still pasted to his face. I shouldn’t say “pasted” because it looks genuine and I have to admit, I like seeing it. I like seeing him happy and carefree. It reminds me of the past, before all this heavy, awful shit happened.

“Like I haven’t seen your ass before.” He stands and stretches, lifting his arms high above his head, making a rough sound in the back of his throat that’s undeniably sexy. His shirt rises with the movement, offering a glimpse of his flat, toned stomach, and I’m filled with the urge to lick him there.

God bless America, what is wrong with me? I’m sitting here gaping at him like some sort of shell-shocked war victim. I can’t think about licking Colin’s perfect abs. I need to concentrate on getting the hell out of here before I do something incredibly stupid.

Like, you know, attempt to lick Colin’s abs.

“You’ve got ten minutes to get those sweet cheeks into the shower and get ready. Then we’re hitting the road,” he commands as he drops his arms to his sides, his voice full of that aggressive authority I would never admit arouses me like nothing else.

Sometimes I really love it when he bosses me around.

“Hitting the road where?” I ask, my gaze following his right hand. It reaches beneath his shirt, scratching his belly lazily, lifting the hem so I catch another peek of all that tempting skin. Dark golden hair trails from beneath his navel, a path that, yep, I want to follow with my tongue. See where it takes me.

Hmm, I know exactly where it’ll take me and I so want to go there.

Closing my eyes, I thunk the back of my head hard as hell against the headboard, irritated with my train of thought. Am I horny? Was I having an amazingly realistic sex dream, or what? Having him here in my room, on my bed, I can’t stop thinking about him. What I’d like to do to him. Naked. With my mouth and my tongue and my . . .

“I’m driving you to Sacramento, remember?”