“How many of those drinks have you had? You’ve been gone a long time.”

“Long enough for you to make plans to meet Derek’s family?” E cocked his head, and even though his tone was playful, I knew his mood was anything but.

“We’re friends, E.” It hurt to look him in the eye and lie about what I was feeling in my heart.

“Yeah?” He reached out and took my hand, his fingertips rubbing over my knuckles. “You don’t feel that?” He leaned in closer and his lips brushed against my earlobe. I shivered at the touch. “You don’t feel this, Sarah?”

I closed my eyes as I forced my body not to melt against his and shook my head. It was painful and he pulled back, nodding.

“I must have imagined it then. I apologize.” The muscles in his jaw jumped under the skin as his eyes searched mine for the truth, and of course he could see it. E could always see right through me like no one else.

“E . . .” I wanted to say so many things, but the words didn’t seem as if they would do the situation justice. I had fucked up beyond belief, and making it right would mean hurting the one person who seemed to get me, but E was a wild card. Derek had promised commitment and I needed that. I craved it.

“It’s fine, Sarah. I just want you to be happy. That’s all I ever wanted.”

“I know that.”

He pulled me in for a hug, and as much as I wanted to resist, my body wouldn’t let me. My hands slid over the tight muscles of his back as his hands trailed up and down my spine. He pressed his lips against my throat and I sighed.

His body stiffened momentarily. “You can’t make little noises like that when I have you in my arms.” He groaned as he held me tighter. I tried to pull back but he wasn’t letting me budge.

“E, I’m sorry.”

“Shh . . . don’t say you’re sorry. Sorry means you regret it and I know you don’t.”

“I will never regret you, E. You are my best friend and there are no words for how much I care about you.”

“There’s a word for how I feel about you.” He pulled back to look me in the eye and my heart crumbled.

“I think we should probably head back.” This time when I pulled away, he let his hands fall to his sides. The look on his face destroyed me. I could feel my world spiraling but I had no choice but to hold on and hope for the best. Derek had changed, and for me to hurt him now the way he had hurt me in the past would be a horrible betrayal. I couldn’t help the way I was feeling, but I could stop myself from acting on those feelings.

“Are you ready?” Cass asked as her eyes darted between us.

I nodded as I sniffled, hating myself. Cass looked to E, who was still staring at me, his eyes burning through me.

“Yeah. We’re done.” He turned and walked into the crowd. Cass gave me a sympathetic look before we followed behind him.

I took a drink from her hand and took a big gulp, hoping it would settle my nerves. I knew the rest of the night was going to be excruciating.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

ERIC

I COULDN’T CLEAR MY thoughts as I navigated us back to the rest of the band. I wanted to flip out and scream at Sarah for playing with my emotions, but I knew without a doubt she never meant to break my heart. I also knew that she was hurting every bit as much as I was. I could see the pain in her eyes. I just didn’t know if the pain was from wanting to be with me or from not wanting to hurt me.

Either way, the damage was done. Sarah had made her choice and I wouldn’t interfere with what she wanted.

I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t pissed, but most of that was directed at myself and Derek. I tried to plaster on a smile as I made my way to Donna.

“Where have you been?” She cocked an eyebrow at me.

“I got lost, but I found my way back to you.”

“Aww . . . You’re drunk,” she joked as she wrapped her arms around my waist from the side. I draped and arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

“It improves my dance skills.”

“I think you dance just fine.” She glanced up at me and I shot her a wink. Although I wasn’t exactly sober the day we practically fucked on the dance floor, there was no denying that we had chemistry.

“I had a good partner.”

“Just good, huh?” She pressed her head against my chest, and even though I was dying inside, Donna always managed to make me laugh.

I was thankful that it was now dark and I wouldn’t have to see Derek with his hands all over Sarah.

“Do you ever think you will get past what your ex did? Move on and get married?”

She shook her head as she stared off at the stage. “You?”

“Nah. Not the marrying type.”

“I envy them.” She nodded toward Tucker and Cass, and we both watched them for a moment as I ran my hand up and down Donna’s back. What they had wasn’t in the cards for me. Every time I put myself out there, I got hurt and I couldn’t take much more.

“They make it not look so bad.” Donna laughed sadly and I kissed her hair.

“You will have that. You’re too good of a person not to.”

“And what about you? You think you’re a bad person?”

I glanced back up at the stage. A new band was getting ready to perform, and the crowd was getting louder. I never answered her and she didn’t push me any further.

One band blended into the next, but anything was better than being locked up in that hotel room. I felt as if I were slowly losing my mind with every passing day.

“If you didn’t get this gig, where do you think you would be?” I asked.

“I’d probably be backstage at this concert begging bands to let me work for them,” she said with a laugh.

“This is your dream? You never wanted to do something else?”

She thought it over for a minute and shrugged. “I wanted to get married and have children.”

“So you’re just going to let one asshole kill your dreams?”

She glared up at me and back to the stage. “Dreams change, people change. I don’t think I would be that good of a mother.”

“Are you kidding? Look at how you take care of the band. You’re a natural.”

“I am kind of amazing.”

I laughed as I squeezed her against my side.

“What about you? You want kids?”

“I’m not really a good role model for children. I can’t even get my own shit together, I couldn’t put a kid through that.”

“You know, you’re not half as bad as you think you are.”

“Opinions may vary.” I glanced over my shoulder to Sarah.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

SARAH

IT HURT LIKE hell to look E in the eye and tell him that it was never going to happen with us. He deserved so much better than I could ever give him. I was a broken mess, too damaged for anyone to take on.

It was better this way.

I was thankful Derek never questioned my crazy mood swings or pushed me to open up more about my past, although it made me feel alone even when I was by his side. At times I wanted to speak up and explain why I was feeling the way I was, but I didn’t know what I would do with myself if Derek didn’t want me anymore and I was left by myself. After we went to Texas, things would only get better for us.

I squeezed Derek’s hand as I watched his profile. He was cheering for the band and I couldn’t help but smile at how excited he got over music. It had always been an escape for me.

“They’re good,” I shouted over the crowd.

Derek’s eyes met mine. “We’re better.” He smirked as he pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed it. I smiled up at him, and he turned to face me. He breathed deeply, as if about to say something important. “Okay, now, don’t get mad.”

My first reaction was to narrow my eyes and prepare for him to break my heart, but what he said next nearly knocked me off my feet.

“I bought tickets the other day. To Texas. We leave the day after tomorrow.”

I stood frozen. I was relieved that he was serious about us, but then the anger started to set in. “How did you know I was going to say yes?”