“You gave birth to me in St. Anne’s hospital,

Maybridge.”

“I really don’t think—”

“You ran away after was born, you—”

147

“Look,” she says suddenly, turning to me. “Hon. I’m

sure you’re very nice, and hope you find your mum,

really do, but you’ve got the wrong lady.”

“It was stormy night and—”

“Rosie,” she interrupts. “Look,

don’t know who

you’ve been talking to, but—”

“Your mother.”

“What?” She stares at me.

“I’ve spoken to your mother, Pam Sinclare.” hold

her gaze. “My grandmother.”

She looks at me, speechless.

“That’s how

found you. She told me how you’d

always wanted to be an actress, how you came to America

when you were seventeen. But she doesn’t know the real

reason you left, does she?”

“I—”

“She doesn’t know that you’d just had baby, that

you were scared, that you ran away.”

“Now, listen—”

“But after you ran away, Kitty, there was

mistake—”

“Damn right, there’s been

mistake!” she shouts,

striding to the door and flinging it open. “Stan’s always

telling me— Stan?

“Kitty,” beg. “Kitty, please.”

“Rosie …” Andy steps inside.

“And who the hell are you?” Kitty demands.

“Kitty, I’m your daughter!”

148

“I don’t have

daughter!” She rounds on me, eyes

blazing. “Now please leave—both of you!”

“No. Kitty—”

“Stan!” she calls again. “Stan!”

“Rosie,” Andy hisses. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes!” shrug him off. “Kit—”

Andy catches my arm again and holds it tightly.

“Really sure?”

look at him.

He lowers his voice. “What if you’re wrong? What if

it’s not her?”

“What?” stare at him. It has to be her.

Doesn’t it?

look at Kitty, who’s punching

number on the

hotel phone. She looks like me—same hair, same

eyes

She’s the right age. She had daughter called Holly

Woods

My breath catches.

Didn’t she …?

Sinclare

There were several on record—just

because Kitty lived locally, it doesn’t necessarily mean

swallow.

My mother was runaway—she could’ve come from

anywhere to have her baby in secret

shiver runs down my spine. Pam never

mentioned

baby,

pregnancy—I assumed because

Kitty’d kept it secret, but what if

stare at Kitty as she clutches the receiver.

“Security?”

What if there was no baby?

149

My heart hammers painfully.

What if she’d just gone off, as Pam said, to follow her

dream?

was so sure. So sure

But what if it was all huge

mistake? What if she’s the wrong Sinclare?

“Rosie,” Andy says gently, wrapping his arm round

my shoulder. “Maybe we should go.”

stare at Kitty, doubt gripping me with icy fingers.

It’s not her All this, and it’s not even her!

“Come on, Rose.” Andy steers me toward the door,

the room spinning wildly.

was so sure

I’ve come all this way, left Nana, lied

to Andy—all for nothing. got it wrong, so wrong

She’s

not my mother I’m not her daughter, not

“Wait—” stop suddenly in the doorway, my last

chance. “Holly Woods.” turn to Kitty desperately. “Kitty,

I’m Holly Woods.”

She stares at me for second, her green eyes wide.

Then, trembling, she replaces the telephone.

“Who sent you?” she whispers, her breath ragged,

her face ashen. “Did Jack send you?”

“Nobody sent me!” insist, my pulse racing.

“What does he want? Money?”

“No, Kitty, you don’t understand.”

“No, you don’t understand!” she cries, eyes wild as

she stares straight at me. “I do not have daughter!”

The words sting like boiling water. stare at her.

Her face is white and she’s shaking.

“What’s going on?”

150

Luke appears in the doorway.

Kitty stares at him. For an instant something like

terror flashes over her features. Then it’s gone.

“Oh, thank God!” she gushes, rushing to his side.

“Oh, darling, they just burst in—they’re stalkers—they

wouldn’t leave!”

Stalkers?

Luke pulls out his mobile and dials. “Police?”

“We’re leaving,” Andy insists, taking my arm.

“But—” stare at Kitty helplessly. “Wait—”

“Oh, darling, was so scared—she was saying such

crazy things!”

My jaw drops.

“It’s all right, sweetheart, they’re leaving.” Luke puts

down his phone and pulls Kitty close, glaring at me.

“Come on.” Andy drags me away down the corridor,

my head reeling.

Crazy things? She recognized me—she knew was telling the truth!

droop against the mirrored wall of the lift, the

glass cold and hard against my forehead as we travel

down, down, and Andy walks me numbly outside, the

lights from the hotel splintering on the wet pavement as

an icy wind whips my cheeks.

“God, Rosie, you’re shaking! Where’re your clothes?

Are they still inside?”

shrug, my body shivering uncontrollably. But

don’t feel cold. don’t feel anything.

“Wait here, I’ll go and get them.”

151

stare blindly out at the street, at people bustling

by, blur of color and movement.

can’t believe it.

found her.

met my real

mother

and she kicked me out slump against the wall,

the conversation reeling round my head—her shock, her

anger, her denial—her recognition The look in her eyes when mentioned the name Holly Woods—that whimsical

name she gave me before she ran away

Suddenly it hits me, as hard and as painful as

punch to the stomach.

She ran away. From me. That’s why she gave me

different name. She didn’t want me—she never had—she

was going to give me up for adoption

Andy was right,

she made her choice. There was no mistake, no regret. Her

voice rings painfully in my ears— don’t have daughter!

She’d never wanted

baby, and now, as far as she’s

concerned, she never had one.

yellow shape looms up in front of me.

taxi.

Casey. struggle forward, gripping the wall for support as

the driver approaches the hotel. But it’s not Casey. He

walks straight past me, opening one of the hotel’s heavy

glass doors as

couple hurries out, the woman’s high

heels clacking noisily over the pavement. She turns,

brushing her black bob out of her eyes as she slides into

the car, and shrink into the shadows as it pulls away,

disappearing into the sea of traffic.

There she goes. My mother. Out of my life forever—

just as she always wanted

152

“Here you go!” Andy rushes back out. “Come on, it’s

pissing it down.” He wraps my coat around me, hugging

me close as the rain beats down harder, dodging

pedestrians and puddles until finally we find Casey’s cab.

“Is she okay?” Lola whispers as

slump into the

warm backseat.

“I think she’s in shock,” Andy says quietly, shutting

the door. “It didn’t go so well.”

“Oh, no,” Lola sighs. “I’m so sorry. Here, Rosie,

honey, take some of this.”

She passes bottle through the partition and Andy

wraps my fingers around it.

tip it upward, the smooth liquid warm as it slides

down my throat.

“Good girl.” Lola smiles, and Andy kisses my