“Isaiah,” Noah warns.
Isaiah would never steer me wrong. If he
says I’ll be sober in an hour, then I will be. He knows how much I long for weightlessness. A loud crashing noise comes from the house. I know these people. Ryan doesn’t. I can’t leave him defenseless. “No, I’m good.”
“Suit yourself.” Rico heads into the house.
Isaiah stares at me and I don’t understand the gleam in his eye. Abruptly, he follows Rico.
In the hammock, Noah begins to kiss Echo.
The two of them will be lost in their own world for the rest of the night and Isaiah will easily HC TITLE-AUTHOR
411
be gone ten minutes. The night has been
fun, but it’s also made me the rope in a strange invisible tug-of-war. Ryan sat on one side of me. Isaiah the other. It felt weird to be next to both my best friend and the guy I really like.
Why can’t Isaiah see that we’re just friends?
Friends only. I need to talk to him before I leave. I need to straighten this whole mess out.
Honestly, I just need to hear him say that he didn’t mean it and that he’s still my best friend.
Ryan stands, stretches, and walks over to the tree on the opposite side of the yard. I glance over my shoulder at the house. I’ve been
careful not to rub Ryan in Isaiah’s face, but I need to make sure Ryan’s okay too. Yeah,
Isaiah will be gone for a while. Rico’s a slow tripper.
I follow after Ryan. “You don’t have to
move for Noah and Echo’s sake.”
Hundreds of Christmas lights hang from the tree. His sun-kissed skin is beautiful under their glow. “I didn’t move because of them.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Then why did you?”
Ryan inclines his head and his eyes roam my body as if savoring the sight. “You’re beautiful when you laugh.”
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
412
Warmth blazes on my cheeks and I break
eye contact. Ryan reaches out and touches me.
His fingers linger on my neckline and the whisper of his caress on my skin heats my blood.
“You should laugh more,” he says.
I swallow. “Life hasn’t given me much to
laugh about.”
“I could change that.” Ryan invades my
personal space and every part of him connects with a part of me.
I inhale and smell the delicious scent of earth after the rain. “You smell good,” I say.
His hand glides along the curve of my spine and into my hair. Chills energize my body. “So do you. You always smell like roses.”
I giggle at the thought of me smelling sweet and bite my lip to stop the girlish reaction. “No one’s ever said that to me before.”
Ryan’s lips form that glorious smile with dimples and my blood tingles straight to my toes. This smile is for me and me alone.
“There are lots of things I want to say to you, Beth, and I want to be the first to say them to you.”
Intense hunger glazes his eyes. I’ve seen the HC TITLE-AUTHOR
413
same look on other guys, but on Ryan it’s different. That stare has more depth—more meaning—as if he’s seeing inside me.
“I want to kiss you,” he murmurs. “Do you want to kiss me?”
My heart beats faster. Oh, Ryan can kiss.
I’ve stayed awake at night and replayed his lips against mine. His kisses are strong like him, possessive and demanding. Ryan said beautiful things to me in the barn and he touched me in ways I only dreamed someone could touch me.
My fingers burrow into his thick hair. “Yes.”
Ryan lowers his head and I close my eyes.
The anticipation of this moment creates an energy that sizzles in the autumn air. I’m going to do it. I’m going to kiss Ryan—sober.
“Fuck, Beth.” From behind me, Isaiah spits out the words.
I whirl around and barely catch sight of him bolting out the back gate into the alley. Noah falls out of the hammock and heads after him. I need to go after Isaiah, not Noah. I take several steps, but laughter from the house stops me. I can’t leave Ryan. “Noah!”
“Go home, Beth,” he says as he strides
toward the alley. “Back to Groveton and don’t HC TITLE-AUTHOR
414
come back.”
That’s the deal we made. When we hugged
and apologized to each other, Noah promised to let me stay and enjoy my evening if, when it was over, I left and never looked back. It wasn’t a hard promise to make. In a few
weeks, I’ll be gone for good. “I can’t leave knowing he’s upset.” Because after tonight, I may never see him again.
“Just go,” says Noah.
“No!” I grab Noah and fling myself in front of him. “He’s mad at me. I know he gets upset when I make out with guys, but Ryan isn’t some random guy. I have to explain that to him.” I have to explain to Isaiah that he is not in love with me. “But I can’t go after Isaiah and leave Ryan here. You know what will
happen if some of Rico’s friends see Ryan without you or me.”
Noah rubs his eyes. Yes, he does know. Ryan isn’t a part of our circle and is fair game for a good beating. Noah gestures for me to go after Isaiah. “Fifteen minutes, Beth. I mean it. You need to go back to Groveton and finish out your life there.”
I turn and flinch to find Ryan standing close HC TITLE-AUTHOR
415
with his hands shoved into his pockets.
Hurt wounds the brown eyes that glowed with promise moments before.
“Ryan,” I stutter out. “He’s my best friend and he’s upset and…”
“Go after him.” Ryan crosses his arms over his chest. “But don’t string me along if it’s him you want.”
“What?” I shake my head. Ryan
misunderstands. “Isaiah and I…we’re not like that.”
But I’m not going to waste time standing
here arguing with Ryan over stupid jealousy issues when my best friend is upset. I push past Noah and run into the alley. A few steps into the darkness, strong hands grab my arms.
I suck in air to scream and I’m silenced by a familiar deep voice. “You’ve changed.” As if to prove his point, Isaiah shoves my wrist in front of my face and shows me Ryan’s pink ribbon.
“So have you. The Isaiah I knew would have run away with me and Mom when I asked. You left my mom with Trent and he broke her
wrist! It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.
You used to take care of me!” My pulse thuds HC TITLE-AUTHOR
416
in my ears as I shove away from Isaiah.
The streetlamp attached to an aging utility pole flickers on and off. With each flash of light, a mix of anger and sadness crosses Isaiah’s face. “You used to let me take care of you. Now you’ve got some asshole jock doing your bidding.”
White-hot anger flashes through me. “Leave Ryan out of this. You’re the one PMS-ing like a girl. First you want to run away with me.
Then you don’t want anything to do with me.
Then you want to run away with me after
graduation. Then you keep telling me to live my life in Groveton. Then you go and tell me that you love me when we both know you
don’t.”
My heart jumps out of my chest when he
punches his curled fists into the chain link fence behind him. The metal of the fence
vibrates. “Dammit, Beth.”
Isaiah clutches the fence and he bends over as if he’s ready to vomit. Not once in four years have I seen him this emotional. My
hands shake with adrenaline. “I don’t
understand.”
Isaiah swears softly under his breath. “I am HC TITLE-AUTHOR
417
in love with you.”
Ice freezes my muscles. He said it—again.
“No, you aren’t.”
Isaiah spins and cups my face with his
hands. I don’t feel warmth. I only feel cold.
Cold and confused. He lowers his head so that his face is close to mine. “I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen. I wasn’t man enough to tell you, so Luke swooped in. You were so hurt after he used you that I swore to protect you until you could listen to what I had to say. I’m in love with you.”
My lungs tighten. God, I can’t breathe. Help me breathe. “You’re my best friend.”