Изменить стиль страницы

The bird hides its head under its wing. I understand that feeling of wishing the world would go away. If I had wings, I’d hide

underneath them too.

“It’s just a bird, Beth. It’ll find its way out eventually.”

Something deep and dark and heavy inside

HC TITLE-AUTHOR

318

me tells me it won’t. The poor bird will die in this damn barn and will never see blue sky again.

Straw rustles and Ryan drops beside me,

stirring dust into the air. He clumsily rolls onto his side to face me. His warm body touches mine and his eyes have a strange intensity.

“Don’t do that.”

My heart trips over itself. Ryan kept his hat off and I like it more than I should. His hair kicks out crazily in the back and it gives a boyish charm to a face that belongs to a man.

“Do what?” I ask, ashamed that my voice

comes out a little breathless.

His eyebrows inch closer together and he

moves his hand near my face. He stops and so does my breathing. Ryan stares at my lips and then caresses my cheek.

“You do that a lot.” His finger slides steadily to the tip of my mouth. My skin tingles under his touch. “Look sad. I hate it. Your mouth turns down. Your cheeks lose all color. You lose everything about you that makes

you…you.”

I lick my lips and I swear he watches. His finger pauses before tracing another teasing HC TITLE-AUTHOR

319

path across my cheek. My pulse quickens

and heat spreads through my body. His

touch—oh God—feels good. And I want good.

So much.

But I don’t want him. At least, I don’t think so. “Are you stalking me?”

His lips burst into a bright smile and he withdraws his hand. “Welcome back.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Ryan does it again—his smile. The one that makes my stomach flip.

“I like you,” he says.

I raise an eyebrow. He must have snorted

some crack earlier, or maybe he’s doing that steroid crap. What do they call it? Juicing.

Yeah. The kid is definitely juicing. And drunk.

“You like me?”

He shakes his head and it’s a strange clumsy mix of yes and no at the same time. Ryan is sloshed. “I don’t know. The way you talk. The way you act. I know what I’m going to get from you, but then I don’t. I mean, you’re unpredictable, yet I know whatever reaction you’re going to give me is real, you know?”

Officially cutting him off, I slide the few remaining beers from him and conceal them in HC TITLE-AUTHOR

320

the hay while trying to keep his eyes on me.

His declaration of “like” has placed him in the category of beyond intoxicated and there’s no way I can lug him home. “You mean you like knowing that our conversations will end with me telling you to go fuck yourself?”

He laughs. “Exactly.”

“You’re weird.”

“So are you.”

He has me there.

“Is there anything you don’t pierce?” Ryan stares at my belly button. My shirt must have ridden up, exposing the red jewel dangling on my stomach. On my sixteenth birthday, Isaiah paid for my belly button piercing. At seventeen he paid for the tattoo. Both times he came up with the “consent.” Isaiah is crafty like that.

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

Ryan’s eyes flash to mine and I see he

understands the innuendo. I laugh when his cheeks turn red. “What are you, Ryan?”

“Did you just ask what I am?”

I nod. “Why would a jock be holed up with me in a barn, drinking beer, when he could be screwing half the female population at school?

You aren’t fitting the profile.”

HC TITLE-AUTHOR

321

His eyes search my face and he ignores

my question. “What’s your tattoo mean?”

“It’s a reminder.” It means freedom.

Something I’ll never have. My destiny was built for me before I sucked in my first breath.

“You’re doing it again,” says Ryan. And he touches me again. This time on my stomach, yet his eyes hold mine. His finger lightly explores the edges of the jeweled ring. Tickling me. Entrancing me. Taking my haze higher.

And that’s exactly where I want to go—higher.

“What would you say, Ryan, if I said I didn’t want to be alone?”

His fingers slip to my side and his warm

palm clings to the curve of my waist, inching me and my body slowly toward heaven. “I’d say I don’t want to be alone either.”

HC TITLE-AUTHOR

322

Ryan

THE LANTERN LIGHT FLICKERS, creating

shadows over Beth’s face. There’s no

mistaking the suggestion in her smoky-blue eyes or the invitation of her fingertips as they trace the curve of my biceps. With her black hair sprawled out against the golden hay, she reminds me of a modern-day version of Snow White—lips as red as roses, skin as white as snow.

Would a kiss bring Beth to life? Tonight

she’s shown me brief flashes of the girl hidden behind the facade. Maybe I can draw her out more. Maybe if I kiss her…no, not kiss. I’m no prince and this isn’t a fairy tale.

Attempting to find sanity, I rub my head.

“You okay?” she asks.

“Yes.” No. The thoughts in my brain crest and dip like waves in the ocean. Each thought HC TITLE-AUTHOR

323

harder to hold on to than the one before.

“It’s all right.” Beth’s voice becomes

smooth, as if she’s casting a spell. “You’re thinking too much. Just relax.”

“We should talk,” I say in a rush before the thought drifts away, but my hand draws

another lazy circle on her stomach. Her

muscles come alive under my touch, a shudder of pleasure, and I crave to please her.

“No, we shouldn’t,” she answers. “Talking is overrated.”

And I nod in agreement, but the thought

floats back to the surface: we should talk. I’ve fought it all night; hell, I’ve fought it since I met her, but I like it when Beth talks because she becomes real—she becomes more. I like more. I like her.

What I really like is how her smooth skin glows in the lantern light, how soft it feels against my fingers. Beth licks her lips again and my head tilts in expectation. Her mouth glistens now and I memorize the perfect shape while imagining her lips brushing against mine.

The hay rustles beneath Beth as she lifts her head. My senses are flooded with the scent of HC TITLE-AUTHOR

324

roses.

“Kiss me,” she says.

Just one kiss and her black spell, the one that she’s woven, the one that’s constantly

weighing her down, will be broken.

HC TITLE-AUTHOR

325

Beth

MY TANK RIDES UP further when Ryan strokes the bare flesh of my stomach. He angles closer to me and I’m immediately overwhelmed by

the size of his body. My blood tingles with excitement. “You’re soft,” he whispers.

I knot my fingers in his hair, guiding his head to mine. “You talk too much.”

“I do,” he agrees and his lips finally meet mine.

It’s an innocent kiss at first. Soft lips meeting; a gentle pressure that creates a slow burn. The type of kiss you give to someone that means something. This isn’t the type of kiss to be wasted on me. But still, I prolong it by taking his lower lip into mine and I touch his smooth face.

For this one second, I’ll feel. I’ll let myself pretend that Ryan cares for me. That I’m the HC TITLE-AUTHOR

326

girl worthy of this type of kiss, and right as I sense the emotion becoming stronger, gaining traction, I break away.

Ryan swallows and stares down at me. I

press my lips to his innocently one last time, then slide my tongue between his lips. Sparks sizzle in the air as we immediately part our mouths, hungry for more. It’s a lightning storm of fiery kisses and sounds of bliss. Each of us feeds off the other, only building a greater storm—a thunderhead on the verge of

explosion.

My hands roam over his back, clawing for