One of my hands tangled in her hair while the other one gripped her hip. Her breasts were like firm pillows against my bare flesh and I had the urge to get her completely naked beneath me. My fingers traveled between our bodies to unfasten the button on her shorts. I pulled back and used both hands to tug the denim down, along with her lacy white panties.

I slid them off her legs and then savored the view between her thighs. She practically knocked the goddamn wind out of me each time I had the privilege of seeing her nude and I prayed there would come a day when I could plunge myself deep inside of her.

But for now I needed to touch her, to show her how amazing she was. My fingers trailed down her stomach and I felt her muscles contract beneath my touch. I skimmed my fingers over her perfectly groomed patch of hair before sliding my fingers through her slick folds. “You’re so wet, Ella.”

Her forearms rested above her head and she moaned against her pillow. When I thrust one finger inside, her back arched off the bed. She was so ready for me and for one brief moment I considered letting it all go and falling into her.

But I knew this girl deserved more.

I plunged two fingers deep inside and hooked them upward, hoping to hit that magic spot that made her shudder against my hand. My tongue went to work on her inner thighs, trailing my way up to her sweet spot.

“Please, Quinn.” Her gaze was tethered to mine, thick as a rope, pure abandon blazing in her eyes. “I need you inside me.”

Hearing her beg for it almost made me lose my fucking mind.

“No, Ella.” I struggled to find my voice through my blinding arousal. “Not tonight.”

“Why not?” she panted out. “I want you. Right now. Like this.”

I withdrew my fingers and she groaned from their absence. I crawled up her body, placing my knees on either side of her thighs. Her eyes widened in anticipation.

“Don’t misunderstand, Ella. I want you. So fucking bad.” I gathered her face in my hands. “The day I can finally bury myself inside of you is the day I know for sure that you’re mine. All mine. Only mine. And anything other than that isn’t good enough.”

Her chest was heaving and her jaw was slack, but she didn’t say anything.

“Do you understand me, Ella?”

“Yes,” she whispered, her eyes full and glassy. “I know there are parts of you that you’re holding back. And I . . . I want to know all of you.”

I shut my eyes against her words. Against the honesty in them. And the pain.

“Damn it, Quinn.” Her fingers gripped my thighs and my eyes snapped open. I looked at her. Really looked at her. Her vibrant blue irises. Her luminous wavy hair. Her velvet-soft skin. She was like a goddamn angel.

Her hand cupped my jaw. “I’d be honored if you shared yourself with me.”

Honored? Fuck. I backed the hell away and sat down on the edge of her bed, hot and stinging tears gathering behind my eyes. If only she knew. She would not be fucking honored to know that I’d killed my best friend.

Shit. What was I doing here with this girl who deserved someone better?

My head sank into my hands and I considered fleeing from the room. From her life.

“Hey,” she said, scooting off the bed and kneeling in front of me. “Quinn.”

She tugged my hands from my face and locked her gaze on me. “Whatever it is, I know it’s important. It makes you afraid. Afraid to share yourself completely with me.”

“I . . . shit. I don’t deserve someone like you,” I mumbled. “You shouldn’t be . . . with someone like me.”

Ella became still, her gaze locked on mine. The only sign of life was in her eyes which were quickly welling up. Fuck. I swiped a stray tear from my cheek and looked away from her, embarrassment heating my face. Or maybe disgrace.

“No,” she said, grasping for my hands, forcing me to look at her. “You . . . you’re the best kind of person I know.”

“No.” I shook my head, hard and insistent. “I’m not.”

“I believe you are, Quinn.” Hearing those words tumble from her mouth triggered something. Something deep inside. It felt like I’d heard similar words uttered by someone else before. “And when you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be here.”

I was so full of emotion for this girl that I yanked her mouth to mine and practically devoured her lips. She grasped fistfuls of my hair and then straddled my lap to get as close to me as possible. I greedily sucked her tongue into my mouth as a moan erupted from her throat. Our kiss turned frantic, impassioned, reckless. It was busting at the seams with unspoken feelings.

And so many unspoken words.

I told her everything through that kiss. Every single fucking thing.

I begged her to forgive me. And then I pleaded with Sebastian to absolve me. So I could be with this beautiful girl. And give her all the damn things she deserved.

Ella’s hands rushed down my body to my shorts and she flicked open my top button.

“No, Ella.” I halted her efforts with my hand. “You don’t have to do this right now.”

“Goddamn it, Quinn,” she practically growled. “I want to. Let me.”

And before I could protest and tell her how I undeserving I was, she had my dick in her warm hands and I was panting from the contact.

She forced my shoulders back and yanked off my shorts. Then she knelt down, grabbed a solid hold of me and trailed her tongue in circles along my head. And, damn, if I weren’t hard before, the sudden rush of blood to my nether region made me solid as fucking marble now.

She pumped me in and out of her hot mouth, expertly licking and sucking, and I collapsed against the pillow from the sheer eroticism of seeing her lips around me. I completely lost myself in her again. In this gorgeous girl who wanted to know me, please me, and be with me.

As much as I wanted to be with her.

With her wide blue eyes settled on mine, she ran her tongue up the length of me, drew my tip between those pouty lips, and I was ready to explode.

“Oh God, Ella,” I groaned as the milky liquid shot out, running down my shaft and onto my stomach.

Ella left my side momentarily only to return with a wet washcloth. As she dabbed the warm rag on my abdomen, my fingers traced over her cheekbone. “You’re incredible, Ella.”

Something had passed between us tonight. Something powerful. Commanding. Profound. We were on the cusp of exclaiming our deepest feelings and intentions to each other and both wholly aware of it.

We were standing on the cliff together, ready to take the plunge.

And most of it hinged on me.

Ella climbed into bed and reached for her shirt. I seized it from her grasp and tossed it back on the floor. “I want to feel your skin against mine all night.”

I pulled Ella against me, her back to my front, and I floated into peaceful slumber with her almond scent wrapped all around me.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Ella

I woke up hot and sweaty, and I quickly realized that Quinn’s body was swathed so tightly around mine that I didn’t know where our limbs began and the twisted covers ended.

I pulled my arms out from under him, stretched them above my head, and shifted onto my back.

“Mmmm, good morning.” His voice was hoarse and deep and I wanted to stay wrapped up in his embrace all day.

“Good morning,” I said, giving him a chaste peck on the lips. His fingers latched on to the back of my head and he pressed his lips firmly to mine. His tongue flickered against my mouth momentarily before pulling away and leaving me breathless.

“So, you hit the road this morning?” I knew he was headed to his parent’s house for a couple of days and I was already missing him. But yet again, he was acting mysterious. Said he had stuff to take care of at home. And those kinds of answers made me pause, instead of begging him to go all the way, like I had last night.