Jimmy and Quinn took off for baseball practice. Quinn hadn’t had had a beer in his hand all morning, which told me how dedicated he was to his sport. Jimmy on the other hand, was cut off about an hour ago. Quinn had to remind him that coach would kick him off the team if he showed up drunk.

I walked home to change out of my wet clothes with Avery and Rachel. I hadn’t had to twist Avery’s arm too hard to help out today. She knew the cause was close to my heart. In fact, she clamped her mouth shut the moment I said the words childhood depression.

Avery was heading off to work at the nursing home and Rachel was coming to the frat house with me. They were having another party—a bonfire—that night and she hoped to hook up with one of the ballplayers once they returned from their practice. Jimmy had said he’d bring back some guys from the team, and she had her eye on the third baseman, Sam Riggins.

I considered not going to the frat house and saving my talk with Joel for the morning, when he was sober. But it was tough to dissuade the melancholy rising up in my throat at the thought of saying my final good-byes. And deep down I knew that I needed to see Quinn again.

“So, what’s going on, bitch?” Avery asked as we turned the corner to our street.

“What do you mean?” Damn, she was observant. Almost to a fault.

“What I mean is, your stupid-ass boyfriend is drunk again and he was checking out all the other half-naked chicks at the car wash,” she said, and I cringed. “And you’re busy checking out tall and gorgeous Quinn.”

“Quinn?” Rachel asked, and I almost murdered Avery for saying it out loud. I wasn’t ready to discuss it yet. “Damn, that boy is hot. Made out with him at the fall fest last year. He’s got a pair of lips on him that would . . .”

“Okay, TMI, asshat,” I said, shutting her down.

Rachel raised her brows at me. I’d never cared when she spoke of her conquests before. She always told hilarious and sexy stories, but hearing that she’d kissed Quinn brought out the green-eyed monster in me. Where in the hell had that come from?

“See what I mean?” Avery said. “Did something happen between the two of you?”

“No!” I said a little too quickly. But I couldn’t shake Avery’s penetrating stare. “Well, kinda. Sorta.”

“What?” Rachel said. “Ms. Loyal-to-a-Fault has something going on the side with Quinn? The hot guy who never hooks up with anyone? Now I’m jealous. Spill it, bitch.”

“Nothing happened,” I said, almost tripping over a branch in my path. “I can just tell there’s something between us. Ever since he helped me that one night in the bathroom a couple of weeks ago.”

Both of my friends remained silent, waiting on more juicy details. I sighed. “Every time we see each other there’s so much damn tension between us. At first I thought maybe it was just one-sided. But not anymore.”

“Then do something about it,” Rachel said, hooking her arm through mine as we strode toward our building. “Break it off with what’s-his-face first, since I know you’re not the cheating type.”

“How are you feeling about Joel?” Avery asked sliding the key into our lock. “I know I’ve been vocal about him lately. I just care about you, girl.”

“I know,” I said, slipping inside and yanking off my shoes. “I’m starting to feel . . . indifferent. Kinda numb.”

Avery tugged her hair from her ponytail and shook out her blond locks. “If Quinn weren’t in the picture, taking up room in your thoughts, how would you feel?”

“I don’t know,” I said. She’d brought up a good point. “You know things haven’t been right for a long time.”

“Then why are you hanging in there when there’s plenty of hot-guy ass all around you?” Rachel asked, wagging her eyebrows at me.

I threw her a look. She knew that was nothing like me.

“Okay, okay,” she said, folding herself into the couch. “Just Quinn ass.”

“Why are you hanging in there?” Avery asked, grabbing us bottled waters from the refrigerator.

“I don’t have a good answer. Been asking myself that question for awhile now.” I took a long swig of water. It helped wash down the anxiety bubbling in my throat. “He knows my family. And he coached Christopher.”

“That’s not a reason to stay with someone, ass,” Avery said. “Even Christopher would be shaking his head at you.”

I knew she was right. Somehow I had veered way off course in the last couple of months. I may not have been as bold or outspoken as my two friends were. But in my own way, I knew how to stand up for myself and go after what I wanted.

Avery sat down and placed her arm around my shoulder. “Joel may have been his coach, but that doesn’t mean he makes a good boyfriend for you. Or for anyone. You know that.”

I nodded, tears stinging my eyes. Letting go was way harder than it looked. Even when everything felt wrong. That was the reason I looked for constants in my life. And I should’ve known better by now.

“You can’t just do this for Quinn, though,” she said, smoothing my hair with her fingers. “You do this for you.”

“Obviously, dill weed.” I playfully yanked a piece of her hair. “Besides, he may be attracted to me, but that doesn’t mean he’d actually go through with it. Or that he’s dating material, either.”

“Oh, to get that boy in my bed for just one night,” Rachel said dreamily.

“It would be pretty epic.” Avery winked at me. “You should try it sometime.”

Chapter Ten

Quinn

Thankfully, Coach said this would be a short practice followed by a team meeting.

This breather away from Ella gave me a good chance to get my head screwed on straight.

She had a boyfriend, for fuck’s sake.

I had already messed around with someone in a similar situation and it had ruined my life.

Lots of people’s lives.

It had ended a life.

Still, I was so drawn to her and I didn’t understand why. Except the fact that Ella was smoking hot. She turned me on in ways I hadn’t felt with other girls. And so far as I could tell, Ella was cool and kind and real. Being around her not only revved me up but filled a quieter place inside me that I didn’t quite comprehend yet.

Damn, I wanted to pound her boyfriend’s face into the ground. The way Joel strung her along reminded me so much of what Sebastian had done to Amber. And it pissed me off. It brought out the caveman in me. The need to protect her, save her, show her what she was worth. Ella seemed like a smart girl, so I didn’t understand why she was putting up with his shit. And it just made me want to take care of her even more.

I needed to stay the hell away from her.

Besides, what could I possibly offer her? I needed saving myself.

At Coach’s whistle, the practice ended. The outfielders ran in while the first, second, and third basemen pulled up the bases to stack in the corner of the dugout for the equipment manager to put away. It was hot as hell out here and I was glad to wrench the suffocating catcher’s mask off my face.

I helped retrieve a couple of bats off the ground and placed them in their rack. Then I sat my ass down on the bench between McGreevy and Smithy, wiped off my face with a towel, and waited for Coach.

“You threw some nice pitches out there,” I said before taking a long swig of my Gatorade.

“Thanks,” McGreevy mumbled. He was always so damn moody.

A hint of a smile appeared on Smithy’s lips. He never showed jealousy toward our star pitcher and he could hold his own on the mound, along with the five other pitchers in the rotation. Besides, McGreevy only pitched once every few games unless it was playoff season, so most of his fandom was only in his head.

McGreevy was also pissy because he thought Coach relied on me for team stuff even though Phillips, our short stop, was the captain. He was like that damn princess book with the mattress and the peas. Everything bothered him, no matter how small, and Coach refused to kiss his ass. It became tiresome.