I consider going inside to get dressed, but instead I follow the flagstone path that cuts through the property until it reaches the beach. I walk along the sandy shore, imagining my wedding. We’ve planned it for sunset, with a party to follow. Considering who Damien is, the guest list is relatively small. We’ve invited our mutual friends as well as a number of key employees of Stark International, Stark Applied Technology, and the rest of Damien’s subsidiaries. Also, some of the recipients of grants from Damien’s various charitable organizations.
The ceremony itself is going to be short and simple, with Damien and I having only a best man and a maid of honor, respectively. Since my father ran off ages ago, I don’t have a man to walk me down the aisle. I considered asking one of my best friends, Ollie, but even though he and Damien have negotiated a truce, I didn’t want to risk marring my wedding day with drama.
And there’s no way I’m having my mother do it. How could I stand to have her give me away when I’ve spent the last few years running from her? I have not, in fact, even invited her to the wedding. Which means I have no parent to give me away. So I’m going to walk myself down the aisle, a journey on a pathway of rose petals, with Damien Stark standing tall and elegant at the end of it.
We’ve written vows—short and sweet—and we both agree that what is important is getting to the meat of the ceremony: Do you take this man? Do you take this woman? I do, I do, dear God, I do.
The reception is a different story—that we expect to go on all night. Maybe even into the next day. After Damien and I head out on our honeymoon after the appropriate socializing and cake-eating interval, Jamie is taking charge of the Malibu house and she, with the help of Ryan Hunter and the rest of the Stark International security team, will make sure that anyone who needs a place to crash has one, and anyone who needs a lift home gets one.
Even though we’ll be off on our honeymoon for most of it, it is the details of the reception that have been occupying most of my time. I’ve arranged for tents, dance floors, lanterns, and heaters. There will be a buffet, three bars, and a chocolate fondue station provided by Damien’s best man, his childhood friend Alaine Beauchene. I’m a little flummoxed by my music conundrum, but I’m revved up and eager to solve it, and I tell myself that by the end of the day I will have arranged both the music and the photographer. I am nothing if not optimistic.
Other than that, the only major things still needing to be wrapped up are finalizing the cake—which I’ll do in a few hours—and then the final dress fitting. The dress is a Phillipe Favreau original that we purchased in Paris after hours of conversation with Phillipe himself. It is insanely expensive, but as Damien reminded me, there’s very little point in having gazillions of dollars if you don’t enjoy them. And I really did fall in love with the design.
Phillipe is custom-making it for me, and it is being shipped from his Paris studio. There were some nerve-wracking delays, but I’ve been assured that all is on schedule now, and it is set to arrive at his Rodeo Drive boutique tomorrow morning. His most trusted associate will make any final alterations tomorrow afternoon and deliver it the next morning—Friday—so that it will be locked up safe in the Malibu house, all ready to transform me into a bride on Saturday.
All in all, things are going reasonably smoothly, and I can’t help but smile. So what if I’ve had a few nightmares? For the most part, I’m kicking serious wedding butt, and I don’t intend to stop.
I breathe deep, content, then fling my feet through the surf, sending the water sparkling. Mrs. Damien Stark.
Honestly, I can’t wait.
“Ms. Fairchild!”
I look up to see Tony, one of Damien’s security guys, hurrying down the beach toward me.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Fairchild, I tried your phone but there was no answer.”
My phone, I remember, is by the bed. “What is it?” I ask, alarmed. “Is it Damien?”
“No, no, nothing like that. But there is a woman at the gate,” he says, referring to the gate that Damien had installed at the property entrance after the paparazzi got all crazy during his murder trial. “Ordinarily, I would simply send her away and insist that she make an appointment, but under the circumstances . . .”
“What circumstances?”
“Ms. Fairchild,” he says, “the lady says that she’s your mother.”
Chapter Four
My mother.
My mother.
Holy shit, my mother?
My knees go watery and I have to force my arms to stay at my sides so I don’t reach out automatically for Tony. There’s nothing on the beach that I can use to steady myself, and right now I really need steadying, so I stand perfectly still and smile and hope Tony doesn’t yet know me well enough to pick up on the fact that I’m totally and completely freaking out.
“I wasn’t expecting my mother,” I manage to say. “She lives in Texas.”
“I knew she was from out of state, Ms. Fairchild. I checked the lady’s ID. Elizabeth Regina Fairchild, address in Dallas. I assume she’s here for the wedding.”
“Right. I just—she’s not supposed to be here until Friday,” I lie. I conjure what I hope is a bright smile, but I fear it looks like something out of a low-budget Halloween thriller. “So, right. I guess tell her to drive on up to the house. If you could buzz Gregory and ask him to settle her in the first-floor parlor, I’ll run in and get dressed,” I add.
“Of course, Ms. Fairchild.” If he has picked up on my nerves, he is either kind enough or well trained enough not to say anything.
I hurry back up the path and take the stairs to the third floor. I want to ensure that I don’t see my mother until I’m dressed and made-up and looking polished and pretty enough that maybe—maybe—she’ll wait an hour or two before she starts in on me.
Once I’m in the bedroom, the first thing I do is grab my phone off the table and dial Damien. The second thing I do is end the call before it has the chance to connect.
I sit on the edge of the bed and suck in air. My heart is pounding so hard, my chest hurts, and I am holding my phone so tightly in my right hand that it is making indentations into my palm. My left hand is curled in on itself, and I concentrate on the sensation of my fingernails digging into my palm. I imagine my nails cutting through skin, drawing blood. I focus on the pain—and then, disgusted with myself, I hurl my other arm back and toss my phone across the room. It shatters from the impact, an explosion of plastic and glass, a smorgasbord of sharp edges now glittering on the floor, tempting and teasing me.
I rise, but I am not heading toward those shards. I will not touch them, not even to sweep them away. They are too tempting, and despite the fact that I’ve grown stronger in my months with Damien, I do not trust myself. Not now. Not with Elizabeth Fairchild just two floors below, waiting like a spider to draw me in, wrap me up, and suck the life right out of me.
Shit.
My mother.
The woman who locked me in a dark, windowless room as a child so that I had no choice but to get my beauty sleep. Who controlled what I ate so meticulously that I didn’t make the acquaintance of a carb until college.
The woman whose image of feminine perfection was so expertly pounded into her daughters’ heads that my sister committed suicide when her husband left her, because she’d clearly failed at being a wife.
The woman who said that I was a fool to stay with Damien. That once you passed the ten-million-dollar mark one man is pretty much like another, and I should move on to one who came with less baggage.
The woman who said that I’d ruined the family name by posing for a nude portrait.