His head dropped. “I knew I’d fuck this up. Lisa warned me not to get too intense.”

I reached out and ran my finger along the vine peeking out from under his sleeve. “You’re misunderstanding. Friends isn’t enough for me—unless you think it’s better that way.”

His eyes lifted, widening with surprise. He came around the counter and stopped when he was in front of me, close enough to touch. “Fuck, no. I want you, only you, all of you, for as long as I can have you.”

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, parting my legs so he could step between them. I wrapped my arms around his waist. He was tentative at first, and then he hugged me hard, his nose buried in my hair, his lips against my neck.

“I missed you,” I said into his chest, enveloped in his warm embrace. The anxiety and the nausea abated, followed by a heady wave of calm.

“I thought I was going to lose you,” he whispered.

“I need you too much for that to happen,” I told him.

I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad anymore.

30

TENLEY

In the days that followed, Hayden was hyperattentive. He asked permission before he so much as kissed me, as though I might change my mind and decide I no longer wanted his affection.

On Saturday night Hayden and I were cuddled on the couch. TK was wrapped around the back of his neck like a stole. Hayden was pretending to watch TV while I painted my fingernails sparkly gold.

Activity in the hallway drew Hayden’s attention away from the news.

“Is that Chris?” he asked, stupefied.

“Sarah finally agreed to go on a date with him.”

A feminine giggle came from the hall, followed by the muffled sound of a door opening and closing. It must have gone well. I was sure to get details tomorrow.

“For real?”

“Uh-huh. I think he was taking her out for drinks.” I widened my eyes in mock conspiracy. “Maybe next time they’ll try food.”

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.” Hayden fiddled with his viper bites. “We should do that again. I liked taking you to the museum.”

“That would be nice.”

“I don’t think I have any clients tomorrow night. Maybe I could take you out for dinner?” He lifted TK from his shoulders; her nails clung to his shirt. She mewed when he disengaged them and set her on the arm of the couch.

“Are you asking me on a date?”

He blinked. “Uh, yeah?”

“I’d love to.” Butterflies flitted around in my stomach. While we’d fooled around a little since we talked, it hadn’t gone very far. Hayden was extra reserved these days. Maybe the date would change that.

“Cool.”

“You know,” I said, “if you show me a good time, I might just make out with you in your car afterward.”

His eyes lit up. Covering my body with his, he kissed a path from my sternum to my mouth. “I’ll show you a good time, all right.”

Hayden left my place midafternoon on Sunday and returned two hours later. Instead of letting himself in, he knocked. I open the door to find him rocking on his heels with his hands behind his back. His gaze moved from my face down to my toes. He reversed the circuit and slowly brought his eyes back to mine.

“You look fucking hot,” he blurted, then grimaced. “Sorry. I got you these.” He produced a bouquet of flowers and thrust them at me. His nervousness was cute.

I put my nose to the delicate blossoms. “Let me put these in water before we go.”

I retrieved a vase, and TK sniffed at the flowers. She batted at them while I set to arranging them. Hayden plucked a sprig of baby’s breath from the bouquet and twirled it over her head to keep her entertained.

“These are lovely.”

“I’m glad you like them.” With a secret smile Hayden fingered the fragile white petal of a flower.

I planted a kiss on his cheek. “I like this, too.” I circled the buttons on his dark gray shirt. He had on black pants and a black jacket. He looked like danger personified even though his only signs of rebellion were his piercings and his hair.

“Me taking you out or my shirt?” He watched as I traced the circumference of each button from his chest down.

“Both.”

“It’s just a dress shirt.”

“But I know what’s under it.”

When I reached the waist of his pants, Hayden grabbed my wrist to prevent me from going any lower. “Keep it up and you’re going to ruin my plans.”

“Sorry.” I gave him a swift kiss on the lips. “I’ll be a good girl and keep my hands to myself.”

“I don’t know if you have to take it that far . . .”

I wriggled out of his embrace and bolted for the door. I hightailed it down the stairs to his car, which was standing with the four-ways flashing in the No Parking zone, and jerked on the door handle. Of course it was locked.

“There’s nowhere to run,” he said, low and menacing, as he advanced on me.

I spun around and squealed as he trapped me against the side of the car, barricading me in. And I thought I would be safe once we were outside.

He pinned me with his hips and I felt him, through the silky fabric of my dress and the heavy layer of my wool coat. I’d missed the playful side of him; he’d been so cautious with me lately.

“I planned to wait until after dinner for this, but right now the hood of my car looks pretty appealing,” he growled against my throat.

“It’s not very private,” I argued, shifting my hips, nervous excitement making my stomach clench.

“Like I give a fuck.” One of his hands slid down the outside of my thigh, and he pulled me closer.

A throat cleared to our right. Hayden released me and turned his head. I stared at his jacket, red flooding my cheeks.

“Good afternoon, Officer,” he said smoothly. The car chirped and Hayden took a step back, opening the passenger door as he did so.

“Mr. Stryker.”

At the sound of Officer Cross’s voice I glanced over. He gave me a tight smile. “Are you all right, Miss Page?”

“Hi, Officer Cross,” I replied, mortified. “I’m fine.”

“It’s Collin, sweetheart.” He turned his attention back to Hayden. “This is a No Parking zone.”

“We were just on our way out.”

Hayden pressed his fingertips against the base of my spine, like he wanted me to get in the car. I wasn’t capable of movement, though; I was too caught up in the memory of Hayden’s last altercation with Officer Cross.

“That’s a sixty-dollar fine.” Officer Cross’s hand rested on the butt of his gun.

“You can write me a ticket if you want.” Hayden placed the keys in my palm, closing my hand around them. “Why don’t you start the car, kitten? It’s cold, and you’re shivering.”

Unable to look at Officer Cross, I dropped into the passenger seat. Hayden closed the door with a quiet click. I leaned over and slid the key into the ignition, turning the engine over. It came to life with a guttural rumble. Music blared through the speakers and I fumbled to turn it down. Hayden’s hand rested on the hood of the car, his fingers tapping restlessly.

I couldn’t hear what either man was saying, but Officer Cross kept glancing through the windshield at me. After what seemed like forever, he ripped a piece of paper from his pad and Hayden snatched it from him, rounding the front of the car, mouth pressed in a thin line.

Officer Cross rapped on my window. I rolled it down. “You’re better than that, Miss Page. Have a little self-respect,” he said, his disapproval blatant.

I blanched, stunned by his audacity. Hayden wrenched open his door and folded into the driver’s seat.

Officer Cross plastered on a fake smile. “You kids have a nice afternoon. Drive safe.”

Hayden tossed the ticket on the dash and yanked his seat belt across his chest. He threw the car into gear as Officer Cross stepped away. I hastily fastened my own seat belt, grabbing the door handle as he screeched around the corner. He made three more turns and pulled over, slamming the car into park. He was out of his seat and over me before I could blink, eyes fiery with anger and desperation.