Gage doing a cannonball into the pool next to us, spraying cold water across the side of my face, pulled me out of the kiss. When Gage came up for air, he said, “It looked like you needed to cool off.” He was fully dressed. They must’ve stopped the game early on my account.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“And you guys,” Gage yelled back toward the sliding glass door, “didn’t jump in on the count of three. You all owe me dinner.”

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Braden, Nathan, and Jerom standing by the door. Nathan and Jerom were laughing. Braden walked away.

That night at dinner my brothers all gave their initial impressions of Evan. They were better than I could’ve hoped for. Braden, who’d stayed to eat with us, scoffed at every nice remark until finally Jerom looked at him and said, “Braden, do you have a problem with Evan?”

“Yes! He’s ridiculous. He’s everything we told her not to look for in a guy.”

“He drinks V8?” Gage asked, mockingly.

Braden grunted. “He’s . . . never mind. Apparently he’s perfect. Have fun, Charlie.”

That night on my cell phone, I got the text: Fence. Now.

I thought about ignoring him. He wasn’t exactly making it easy to forgive him for his behavior. But maybe I could talk some sense into him. He was my friend and I hated it when we fought.

“Can’t you just be happy for me?” I asked at the fence. I need you to be happy for me, I thought but didn’t say.

“I could if he were right for you.”

“You don’t even know him.”

“He doesn’t even know you.” His voice was tight, angry.

I tried to keep my voice light and friendly. “Isn’t that what relationships are all about? Getting to know each other?”

“If you were giving him the right information, then yes. But he thinks you’re . . . He thinks you’re like Amber. He wants an Amber.”

“What’s wrong with Amber?”

“You’re nothing like her.”

We were both quiet for a long time. Finally, I sat down, deflated. Braden had proven to me today that half the guys at the game would’ve asked me out, but now he was saying Evan would be scared away if he knew more about me?

“And you don’t think he’d want the real me?”

“No.”

I put my forehead to my knees and pulled out handfuls of grass at the edge of the lawn. The pit in my stomach opened wide and wanted to swallow me whole. So if Evan couldn’t like me for me, was he implying there was something really wrong with me? “Why are you doing this to me? Why couldn’t you just let me figure it out on my own?”

“Because I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“Unless you’re the one hurting me?”

“I’m not trying to, Charlie.”

“Maybe I’m more like Amber than you know. Maybe you’re the one who doesn’t know me.” I felt different. Like I was learning more about myself lately. I wasn’t just my brothers’ little sidekick.

“If you’re like her, then maybe I don’t want to know you.”

An icy pain stabbed in my chest. The grass in my fists felt cold and rubbery, and even when I opened my hands to release it, several blades stuck to my palms. I wiped them on my pants and stood. “You’re being a jerk,” I mumbled and walked back into the house.

Chapter 27

I sat at my desk reading over the list of camp supplies I would need for next week. I had put down the pencil I was using to check off the things I needed to get because I had already gouged a hole through the first item on the list. Where did Braden get the right to judge Evan? And why? He didn’t even know him. He didn’t even want to know him. It wasn’t Evan’s fault that I was holding back part of myself. It wasn’t fair of Braden to say Evan wouldn’t accept me when I hadn’t given him the chance to.

I pushed myself away from the desk and stood, grateful for the distraction of work today. If I left now I’d be half an hour early, but I needed to get out of the house.

“Charlie,” Linda said with a smile as I walked in. “Your aura looks red today. Are you upset about something?”

She was starting to trip me out with her aura talk, which was usually right on target. “I’m fine. Boys are stupid.”

She laughed. “Do you need to talk?”

I held up the backpack of clothes that I needed to change into. I wasn’t sure why I still waited until work to change. Everyone at home had now seen me in my nicer clothing. It was tradition, apparently, to change at work. “No, I just need to get my mind off things.” I slipped into the back room and quickly changed.

When I came back out, Linda took both my hands in hers. “I’m sure your mom tells you this all the time, but it’s always good to hear frequently: we can’t let boys define how we feel about ourselves. You have to know who you are before you should let any boy worth anything in.”

I tried not to cringe at the mom reference. My mom doesn’t tell me anything, I wanted to say. But I couldn’t. It was too late to come clean. And besides that, I did know who I was. At least I thought I did. I was a girl who grew up without a mom and therefore had no idea how to be a girl. Here I was acting like a huge fake not only to Linda, but to Amber and her friends. When did I become so unsure of myself? When did I ever need to be like someone else? I just needed to get away. Basketball camp would be a good break. I nodded. “Thanks, Linda.”

She squeezed my hands and then said, “I have some paperwork to do in the back.”

Halfway through my shift, Skye came in holding an ad. “Ooh la la, Charlie. I didn’t know you modeled.”

I thought she was kidding, when she slid across an ad for the bridal store and there I was, in several shots promoting their makeup line. I noticed two things right away. One, this was not just some cheap paper flyer like Linda had printed out that sat by the register for customers to grab when they came in. It was a nice, shiny color ad a couple of pages long. And two, the pictures weren’t extreme close-ups, like Antonia had promised, but my whole body sitting in that chair . . . with my very recognizable face.

I could feel the blood drain as I stared at the ad.

“You okay?” Skye asked.

“I—” I met her eyes. “This isn’t . . .” My face felt numb and I wanted to sit down right there behind the register. If my dad saw this, he was going to kill me. “Where did you get this?” Maybe they hadn’t put out the ad yet. It was a local business. Maybe she knew the owner or something. After all, why would Skye be getting ads for a bridal store?

“In the mail.”

“The mail? Your mailbox?”

“That would be the one.”

“Crap.” My adrenaline kicked in and I suddenly felt like running around the city collecting every last ad from every last mailbox. “When? Today?”

“Yes. Just now.”

“Can I . . .” I pointed to the ad.

“Yes, keep it. I never go to that store.”

“You never go? So do they just send their ad out to everyone in town then?”

She folded the ad in half and handed it to me. “No. I was a bridesmaid once and got put on their mailing list. Now I get their ads all the time.”

“Their mailing list? Their mailing list. They have a list. You’re on it.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” I was not on their mailing list. We never got their ads. Nor did anyone I knew. I had never even heard of the store before I had helped out Antonia. My shoulders relaxed.

Skye headed for the back, but she stopped halfway there and turned around. “Charlie. I didn’t mean to offend you the other night at the concert.”

“Offend me?”

She used her thumb to point over her shoulder. “About Linda. I didn’t mean she’d replace your mother or anything.”

“Oh.” I suddenly remembered how she told me Linda would soon be as important to me as she was to her. “No. It’s okay. I know.”

She looked at the floor. “Linda has helped me through a lot. My mom left when I was little. . . .”