And it is. It’s pleasure upon pleasure the way her tongue licks my crown, the way her mouth sucks my shaft into her warmth. I’m dizzy, my thighs clenching as I get harder and my orgasm gets closer.

But while she’s amazing, while everything she does to me is amazing, I don’t want this from her. I’ve been blown so many times by so many women. I’ve taken from them—taken, taken, taken. I don’t want to be like that with Alayna. I want to give to her. I want to pleasure her. At the very least, I want to come with her, in her. I don’t want to be the only one on the receiving end.

So I stop her.

She’s bewildered, disappointed, maybe. “Did I do something wrong?” she asks.

It’s part of her beauty—how naïve she can be without being innocent. This is about me, though, and I need to alleviate her fears. “No, precious. Your mouth is amazing.” I kiss her again, the salty taste of my pre-cum still on her lips. “But I need to come inside your cunt. I’ve been thinking about it for days.”

Then we’re lost in each other again. By the time we’ve struggled through stripping each other of the rest of our clothes, we’re both so eager and impatient that we can’t wait any longer. I lift her, urging her legs to wrap around my waist. I pause, my cock poised at her pussy. I’m sure she’s not wet enough, but she invites me to take her anyway.

I can’t help myself—I do, driving into her with a deep thrust. She’s raw at first, and so tight, but I ram into her over and over until she loosens and I slide in her easily. It’s insane that I can fuck her like this—holding her while pounding into her so intently, and I have to credit pure adrenaline and lust. The erotic sounds of her moans and our thighs slapping and the fuck-hot sight of her breasts bouncing in front of me fuel my desire. “So…damn…good,” I tell her. “You feel…so…damn…good.”

I’m close, so close, and if she doesn’t go over with me, I’ll be wrecked. I turn her to the wall, using it as a brace to hold her up while I help to get her there too, rubbing her clit as I continue to pound into her with my cock. “Come with me, Alayna,” I urge. “Come.”

Her thighs shake around me and that’s how I know she’s at the breaking point. Then she throws her head back and lets out the most beautiful sound—a euphoric sort of keening. Her nails dig into my back as her cunt milks me. It’s so goddamn hot and I’m there too. I call her name as I come inside of her, and in those simple three syllables, I give her credit for all that she does to me, not only physically but emotionally.

She can’t possibly understand everything I mean by the stating of her name. In that post-orgasmic state, while the whooshing is still in my ears and my legs are still numb, I hope that one day she will understand. That she’ll know how much she means to me, how much she’s changing me. How much more I’m willing to change for her.

We’re both still panting when she says, “Can we do that again?”

Does she even have to ask? Of course we can do it again. I make a show of telling her, though, looking at my watch before I respond. “You have to be at work at one? I think we can manage to do that again twice.”

I take her mouth again, not trying to start things up, but rather to cool me down. Her lips are swollen, and my kiss is tender. When my heart rate resumes a normal speed, I break away.

After leading her to the couch, I start toward the kitchen. “Water or iced tea?” I call over my shoulder.

“Water, please.”

I grab a bottle and take a long swallow before returning to her. She’s curled up in the corner of the sofa, hugging her knees. I hate that she still hides her nakedness from me, but it’s adorable at the same time. As if she can actually hide anything from me.

I hand her the bottle. She nods a thank you as she takes it, her forehead wrinkled as if she’s thinking. She has a sip then asks. “Could you really do that? Go again twice?”

“What do you think?” I could go all night with her. She’s the first woman that I can say that about. I can never get enough of Alayna.

Her brown eyes flash with sass. “I think you’d like to think you can.”

My eyes narrow. “You don’t have to challenge me to get me to prove it, precious.” I’m semi-hard already.

“Oh, really?” Her eyes dart to my cock and it grows harder under her gaze.

I take the bottle from her hand and set it on the coffee table before I pounce on top of her. She squeals but easily obeys when I urge her to stretch out her body beneath mine.

“Be careful who you’re playing with, Alayna.” I nip at her jawline. “I assure you, I’m the one who will come out of this on top.”

I prove it by pinning her hands above her head while I kiss her senseless. Her hips wriggle to meet mine, but I keep my pelvis slightly off of hers, taunting her. Just as I’m about to get swept away with my teasing, I back off. There’s something I need to ask her, and I can’t wait any longer for the answer. “Why did you decide to resume this?”

It takes her a minute to understand my question. “The sex?” She blushes, moving her eyes from mine. “Well, besides the obvious reason—”

“Which is?”

“It’s fun.” Her blush deepens.

“Yes, you’re right. Quite obvious.” And quite fun. It’s her other answer I’m interested in, though. “And…?”

Now she meets my gaze, her dark browns penetrating me with their transparency, with their honesty. “And I trust you,” she says.

My throat goes dry and my heart feels like it’s dropped to my stomach. It’s not what I expected her to say in a million years, though what had I expected her to say? That she’d jumped back into bed with me because I’d bullied her? Because she couldn’t resist me? Because she was in love with me?

Most anything she could have said would have had its own repercussions to face, but any other answer would have been easier to take than this one.

It suddenly seems like there isn’t enough air, and I have to sit up. I gently maneuver her legs so I have a place to sit. And then, because I’m a masochist and I have to hear it all, I say, “Go on.”

“Well…” She curls her knees again as she thinks, but doesn’t use them to hide her breasts like she did before. She’s more comfortable—quite ironic considering how uncomfortable I feel at the moment. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to notice.

“You said you were different now,” she says finally. “Different with me. And I realized that it doesn’t matter if it’s crazy or stupid to believe it. Because I believe it anyway. I believe you. I trust you. About this, I trust you.”

Again, she hits me with those piercing browns, and I feel like someone who’s standing before a judge waiting for his sentencing. It will either be freedom or execution, but the strange thing is that the verdict will be decided by me. By how I choose to respond to her frankness.

I already know what decision I’ll make, even before weighing my options.

There are so many reasons she shouldn’t trust me, of course, and not the least of which is that I’m currently lying and scamming her. This is a perfect opportunity to confess, and if I were decent at all, I would, even though it would certainly be the death of me.

But it’s not what I choose. Because in a very real way, I’ve been more honest with her than anyone in my entire life. Even with Celia, I smothered any emotion that ever began to creep into being. With Alayna, I’m letting that go, letting feelings slip into my existence. It’s changing me into someone who can be trusted. She’s changing me into someone who deserves those words—I trust you.

It moves me—her words, her presence, my transformation. It robs me of speech.

So I pull her into my lap and take up telling her in the way I know best—with my body. With our physical connection that transcends any connection I’ve had with another human being. I kiss her face, her eyelids, her cheeks, the curve of her jaw. Then, as my mouth travels along her neckline, I trail my hands down her sides, memorizing the lines of her ribs with my fingertips, gliding the slope of her hips with my palms.