“No,” I whispered. “Aside from Noah, that’s the only part of those years I want to remember, because it was beautiful, Ruger. Whatever else happened, you gave me beautiful.”

“Well, fuck me,” he muttered. I felt his hands tightening on my butt, his hips tilting more firmly into mine, sending twinges of desire washing through me. I’d felt safe in his arms back then and I felt safe in them now.

That’s when it hit me. I didn’t just lust after Ruger.

I loved him. I had for years.

I tightened my arms around his neck, raising myself up to brush my lips across his. He didn’t respond, so I brushed his lips again, sucking the lower one into my mouth and nibbling on it.

That set him off.

One of his hands came up, fingers twisting in my hair as he took my mouth in a long, hard kiss, tongue punishing me in a mixture of anger and desire. I couldn’t blame him for whatever he might be thinking, because I’d used him and it was wrong. My arms tightened around his neck and I tried wiggling my hips, desperate for the friction of his cock against my clit. He stilled suddenly, pulling back and looking down at me, eyes burning intensely.

“Serious mistake, babe.”

My eyes widened. My body ached for him, the rough leather of his cut torturing my nipples. Every part of me yearned for his touch, which explained why my brain wasn’t working so well.

“There’s a lot of ways I could interpret that,” I said softly.

“You just admitted you’re mine,” he replied slowly. “I’ve been wonderin’ if I could take you—whether I should take you. I keep thinkin’ about Noah and whether it’s right for him, but now I get none of it matters, because you’re mine already. You’ve been mine for a hell of a long time and I just didn’t realize it.”

“I’ve worked hard to make my own life. I don’t belong to anyone.”

“How many men have you fucked?” he asked bluntly.

“Excuse me?”

“Answer the question,” he demanded. “How many men have you fucked? How many dicks have been in your cunt?”

“That’s none of—”

“Now would be a real good time to answer, babe,” he said, grinding into me deliberately. “Seein’ as I’m the one with the power here. This is my club. Whatever the fuck I do to you, they’ll cover my ass. Don’t push.”

I caught my breath.

“You won’t hurt me.”

“No, I won’t hurt you. Answer the fuckin’ question.”

“I’ve slept with three men,” I said. “Zach, a guy in Olympia, and another guy in Seattle.”

“And how was it?”

“What do you mean?”

“They make you come? You dump them or the other way around?”

“I dumped them,” I said slowly.

“That’s because you belonged to me,” Ruger said, satisfaction filling his eyes. “We fucked around, wasted time, and you’ll never know how sorry I am about Zach. But I’m done now. You’re mine, Soph, and it’s about time we figured that out. I’ll let the club know and we’ll be finished with this bullshit.”

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” I asked. “Because I don’t think anything’s changed. We can’t afford to get involved and then have it go sour. Noah deserves better than that.”

“I’m not askin’ you anything,” he said, deliberately grinding his hips against mine. I groaned out loud. What the hell was it about this man that tied me up in knots? Maybe I had some sort of primitive hardwiring running the show, attracting me to a man strong enough to care for my child …

“I’m tellin’ you,” he continued. “You’re my property, babe. I’ll take damned good care of you and Noah. You’ll take care of me. But only one cock goes into that pussy of yours—mine—and that’s the end of it. Got me?”

I blinked at him, confused.

“I thought you weren’t looking to settle down?”

“I’m lookin’ to take care of you and Noah,” he said. “Neither of us wants to fuck up Noah’s life. But you know what? I’m good for Noah. It’s a fact. Boys need men in their lives and I love the crap out of him. We’ve been all twisted up in each other forever and now it’s all out in the open anyway.”

“I won’t be your whore,” I muttered. Ruger grunted, a touch of humor entering his eyes.

“Trust me, I don’t put this much time and effort into whores,” he said, his voice rueful. “Whores are nothing. You’ll be my old lady, my property. I know this is all new to you, but it’s a big fuckin’ deal in my world.”

I turned that over in my head, which was difficult, because he leaned down and started kissing my neck, boosting me higher so he could reach. Not his usual hard and brutal invasion … No, this was slow and seductive, and then he started sucking gently and I wanted to cry, it felt so good. I squirmed against him, my hips desperate for more stimulation, but he wouldn’t give it to me. Instead he nibbled along my chin before finding new places on my neck to suck and nip.

I heard the music from the party in the background, the sounds of people laughing and talking, but here in the cool darkness of the shop it felt like our own separate world. Ruger surrounded me with his smell and strength and the sheer, vibrant energy that defined him as a man overwhelming my senses.

No one got to me like he did.

He pulled me away from the van, carrying me across the shop without pausing in his attentions to my neck. I found myself laid back on the counter behind the panel truck, Ruger’s body covering my own. My hands clutching his head as he kissed down my throat, pausing every few seconds to suck, his fingers reaching between my legs to rub slowly up and down along the inside of my thigh.

I’d worn a black T-shirt with a V-neck, which proved no barrier to him at all. Ruger tugged the shirt up and flicked open the front clasp on my bra with disturbing speed. Then his mouth sucked in my nipple—the hard metal ball in his tongue almost painful—and my back arched up off the counter.

The hand between my legs unzipped my fly, and he lifted my hips just enough to slide off my cutoffs and panties. I felt the cool metal of the counter on my bare ass as Ruger’s roughened fingers rubbed up and down along my clit.

“Holy shit, that feels good,” I muttered, trying to wrap my brain around everything he’d said. This wasn’t the plan, not even a little bit. For one, I hadn’t planned on unpacking and sharing all that old baggage about Zach. Not now, not ever. The girls had told me to confront Ruger directly, set out my requirements and then stand up for myself.

Instead he gave the orders and I melted like a damned puddle all over a dirty bench in a shop.

What if someone walked in on us?

I’d opened my mouth to protest when Ruger pulled away from my breast, shoving his fingers into me hard at the same time. He dropped to his knees, lips finding my clit, and my brain shorted out completely.

His tongue flicked over my most sensitive spot, teasing me with the unholy combination of his soft tongue and that hard metal ball. Throw in the steady suction of his mouth and it was nearly enough to send me over the edge. Then his finger pressed deep, finding that perfect spot on my inside wall, sending shudders racking through my body. He kept up a steady pressure, rubbing back and forth as his tongue drove me slowly insane.

Then Ruger pulled away long enough to say, “Play with your tits.”

It didn’t occur to me to argue.

I moaned and reached up, taking my nipples and rolling them between my fingers, pinching and tugging like he’d done the morning before. I’d held out against him then—I’d put Noah first, because any relationship between me and Ruger would be a disaster, and the fallout could leave us homeless again.

This time I wasn’t strong enough to say no.

There’s only so much self-control any woman can call upon before she melts. Mine was officially used up. Those fingers of his, rubbing across my G-spot, placing a strange, terrible pressure on me from within … That flicking tongue with its hard little knob … The strength of his shoulders as they supported my draped knees …