That’s when I realized he hadn’t used a condom.

I pushed him off, sitting up and trying to pull my skirt down so that I didn’t give the entire party a crotch shot. He leaned up on one arm to stare at me speculatively.

“What’s the problem now?” he asked. I narrowed my eyes, wondering if he’d “forgotten” on purpose. Apparently Horse liked riding bareback. “I know something’s crawled up your ass, so spill it.”

“You didn’t put on a condom!” I hissed. “I haven’t been tested yet, I’m not even on the Pill, what—”

He reached out, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and pulling me to him for a kiss, ending the conversation. He didn’t stop kissing me for a long time. Then he let me go and smiled.

“Calm down,” he said. “It’s not that big a deal. We’ll get you to a doc tomorrow, get you tested, make sure you’re clean.”

“I’m not on birth control, Horse,” I said through gritted teeth. “What if I got pregnant? I’m not having an abortion, you can’t make me. I won’t do it.”

He looked me right in the eye.

“Babe, the odds you get pregnant this one time are pretty damn low. But if it happens, we’ll deal with it, okay? I like kids. I could do worse. Tomorrow we get you fixed, then we move forward. Not a lot of sense in freaking out because we can’t exactly go back in time and slap that condom on, now can we?”

I studied his face, calm and reassuring, incredibly handsome in the firelight. He smiled, encouraging me. I smiled back at him, forcing myself to breathe.

“Okay,” I said.

“Okay,” he repeated. “Marie, I swear, you’re crazy sometimes, but once I get my dick in you I couldn’t care less. Just calm down and relax, sweetheart.”

He rolled off me, rising to his knees to tuck himself away and close up his pants. Then he leaned back against the fence. I pulled down my skirt as far as it would go, sitting back between his legs carefully, keeping my own shut tight. We sat like that for a long time, listening to the music and watching the fire. Couples disappeared and reappeared, their soft laughter filling the occasional lulls in the music.

Apparently we weren’t completely hidden from view, because one of the prospects stopped by every once in a while to see if we wanted more to drink. Horse nursed a beer slowly, but I ended up downing two more, bringing my total up to five. By the time I’d grabbed a sixth, I’d stopped worrying so much about someone seeing up my skirt. As I started a seventh, I sat forward and started singing and moving my body to the music. Horse laughed, but he stood and pulled me to my feet, apparently enjoying the show as I spun in the firelight. Everything was great and I was starting to think about a pee run when I heard a loud bang and the ground next to me exploded with a crack like thunder.

Gunfire.

Horse tackled me, rolling us away from the area as a second shot rang out, apparently hitting the speakers because the music stopped. Yet another shot went off. Men shouted, women screamed and I sobered right the hell up. Horse pushed me behind a big rock and then he was up and running, tackling a guy standing near the fire. The gun flew out of the shooter’s hand and another man grabbed it, popping out the magazine and clearing the slide with a loud click.

I peeked up and over the bench to see Horse dragging the shooter to his feet by the front of his shirt before punching him hard in the face. I heard panting nearby, and a girl I hadn’t even realized was crouched next to me gave a squeak of fear. It was Miss Double Penetration, and she wore a streak of dirt across her cheek and a look of total shock on her face.

I imagined my own held a similar expression.

I reached out and took her hand. She squeezed it back as Horse methodically beat the shit out of the shooter, yelling at him between blows.

“You don’t fucking shoot a gun at my woman!” he shouted, taking a final shot at the guy’s gut as the man collapsed in the dirt. Horse stood over him, panting, furious, and I had another of those eye-opening realizations that seemed to happen so often lately.

Horse was capable of violence. Terrible violence. I wasn’t sure if this guy was going to survive. I’d known it intellectually, seen him with a gun, but this was different. This was right in front of me, real and visceral and scarier than anything I’d ever seen. The girl next to me started crying shocked tears. I felt them running down my face too. The guy was definitely down, but Horse rolled him over and kicked him again in the nuts with enough force to dent metal. The horrific scream he gave tore through my soul.

Horse stood back, chest heaving, glancing around in disgust. Everyone seemed frozen.

“This cocksucker missed my girl by about six inches,” he announced, looking around at the crowd. “I should put him in the ground, but it’s not worth my fucking time. Next time I won’t be so forgiving, you got me?”

Around him men nodded, murmuring their agreement. I heard someone throwing up off to the right, back in the darkness. I hugged the girl next to me and she hugged me right back, all differences between us forgotten. Horse left the circle of firelight, reaching out to take the now-unloaded gun from the man who’d grabbed it before. Then Horse grabbed the clip, slammed it back into the gun and pulled back the slide with purpose. He turned and carefully aimed the gun at the man’s head.

“Not so fucking fun now, is it?” he snarled. The man gibbered, whimpering and shaking. Lightning fast, Horse tilted the gun to one side of the man’s head and pulled the trigger. Dirt exploded next to his face.

“Marie, get your ass over here.”

I didn’t want to move, but I really didn’t want to piss Horse off even more. I gave the girl a quick hug and stood shakily. I realized about a second later that the stripper heels just weren’t going to work, so I kicked them off and scuttled over to Horse. He tucked the gun into the back of his pants, grabbed my hand and dragged me back through the clubhouse. Boonie caught up to us, but Horse just snarled at him when he tried to talk. Darcy followed behind, eyes darting between us.

Horse pulled out the gun again when we reached his bike, letting the magazine drop and clearing the slide. Then the entire thing went into one of his saddlebags. We climbed on the Harley and took off into the night.

I didn’t notice the cold at all on the ride home. Go figure.

We got back to the house way too fast. I wasn’t ready to deal with Horse or what I’d witnessed. That guy had to be hurt, bad. I hoped to hell they got him to a hospital, although that might make things worse for us—the cops would come after Horse. Where would that leave me?

Safe, a little voice whispered deep down inside.

We pulled up to the house and he killed the bike. Silence fell between us and I had no idea what to do or say. Wasn’t the first time I’d felt this way either. We seemed to be following a pattern. Outstanding sex. Violent outburst. Cold war.

At least I wasn’t the one who’d pissed him off this time.

Horse didn’t say a thing to me as we walked into the house. But when the door shut behind us and he slid the bolt home he turned to me, eyes burning with something dark and terrible. I froze, pinned by that gaze, understanding what it must feel to be a deer at the moment the hunter pulls the trigger. He shook his head and pulled me into his arms.

“I can’t fucking believe he almost shot you,” he muttered, gripping me so tight it hurt. Then he picked me up and carried me over to the couch, falling back on it and draping me over his body. I collapsed against him, a rush of tears bursting out of me. I don’t know what it was, relief maybe? Horse rubbed my back, making little soothing noises, and eventually I stopped crying. Then I realized my skirt had ridden up and my bare ass was hanging out. I tried to pull away from him but he wouldn’t let me. Instead he took my face in both his hands, forcing me to meet his eyes.