She frowned. “But that’s ridiculous. I can’t just fall off the face of the earth. I have things to do.”

He leaned against a stack of luggage and eyed her. “Like?”

“I don’t know. Yet. But I’ll need Trent and R.J. You’ll need them too. They’ve been my personal bodyguards since I began touring.”

“Bodyguards or fuck-buddies?”

She flushed and looked away, and then it infuriated her that she allowed him to shame her.

“If they’re fucking me, then someone else can hardly hurt me,” she taunted.

“If they’re fucking you, they aren’t doing their job,” he said through tight lips. “Their first and only priority is your safety. If they’re focused on you and the next time they can get in your pants, they aren’t watching what’s going on around them.”

She didn’t want to acknowledge that he had a point. Trent and R.J. weren’t around for their security skills. She didn’t even know if they had any prior experience before coming to work for her. They were glorified male prostitutes and the truth of it hit her like a punch to the face.

She paid them. They slept with her—or at least they used to. She wasn’t about to admit to Connor that she hadn’t had sex with them for the last few shows because it would seem too much like she wanted his approval.

Oh, it wasn’t as if she’d hired them for the purpose of sex, but it had dissolved into that and nothing more, so really what were they if not prostitutes?

Nausea swirled in her stomach. When had her life become such a sad mess? When had she become so desperate not to be alone that she paid people to surround her? And then anyone who got too close was quickly shoved as far away from her as possible.

“I can’t fire them. They have a contract,” she said in a low voice.

“They can have their duties reassigned,” Connor said with a shrug. “I don’t give a shit whether you pay them or not. But they aren’t going to be trusted with your safety.”

She closed her eyes, aware of the headache that was intensifying rapidly. She was tired. She hadn’t lied when she’d said she hadn’t slept the night before, and it wasn’t for the reason she’d led Connor to believe.

She’d lain awake in this very room, like she did so many other nights, afraid of monsters from her past, afraid to turn out the lights because she was alone.

Giving her crew vacation time had been a necessity. They were as burned out as she was. But right now, she’d sell her soul to have them with her, surrounding her, to lose herself in the noise and chaos of so many people.

But no, she’d sworn to herself that the next two weeks were going to be a test of her mettle. She was going to step out and face her fears. Even if it killed her.

Only now, if Connor was telling her the truth, someone might do the job for her.

“I’m really just supposed to step back and let you take over.”

It wasn’t a question and she didn’t phrase it as such. It was more of a resigned statement that she already knew the answer to.

“That’s exactly what you’re going to do,” he said. He didn’t even attempt to soothe her and offer platitudes. But then, that would have shocked her, and strangely, it would have disappointed her.

She swept out her hand to the piles of luggage and boxes. “Where do you propose to sleep tonight?”

He studied her for a long moment. “That depends. If it won’t frighten you, we can sleep on the bed. You under the covers. Me on top of the covers. We can put pillows between us. If that idea scares you, I’ll make do on the floor.”

She managed a smile although her heart started thudding painfully as adrenaline spiked through her veins. “I thought you didn’t do floors.”

“For you I’ll make an exception.”

She cocked her head. “You don’t worry about boundaries much, do you? I mean, most people would never dare to push like you have. I can’t decide if you’re really stupid or just plain ballsy.”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter as long as I do my job.”

She glanced at the bed, judging how much of it Connor would take up. It was a king bed stuffed into a really small room and Connor was a really big man. He’d need at least half the bed, and then the pillows would take up a fourth, which left her with the remaining fourth.

Or she could just make him sleep on the floor.

All she had to do was say the word, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him she was afraid.

“You can sleep on the bed,” she said before she changed her mind.

“Lyric.”

She looked back up at him and saw something other than scorn or irritation in his eyes.

“I won’t hurt you.”

She nodded and a hundred butterflies were released into her belly.

He surveyed the room again with a grimace. “I had planned to hole up in your room for the afternoon, but I think we’ll both go crazy if we have to spend too much time here. It’s probably not your speed, but I thought I’d take you over to see some friends. I don’t want you out in public. You’re going to keep an extremely low profile for the next little while.”

“Not my speed?” she murmured.

He shrugged. “We get together, have some beer and shoot the shit. You met them all today—or most of them.”

It actually sounded fun and she felt a twist of jealousy that he had friends—good friends—that he kicked back with.

“I’ll go.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to behave. Micah, Gray and Nathan are all very attached. To women I care a lot about. I don’t want you upsetting them.”

She swallowed the hurt and bit back a scathing remark. Every time she thought Connor might be different, he said something to make her remember that to him she was a spoiled, bratty diva who went through men like most people went through toilet paper.

She was a job. A job that he obviously didn’t want but for whatever reason had agreed to. She needed to remind herself of that before she did something stupid like care what he thought about her.

CHAPTER 6

Lyric didn’t argue when Connor walked her to the passenger side as the valet brought the car around. After she was in, she laid her head back on the rest and closed her eyes.

The car rocked when Connor got in and shut his door.

“Head still hurt?” Connor asked as they drove away from the hotel.

She cracked one eye open to look at him. “How did you know?”

“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. You’ve been sensitive to light and sound all afternoon. Have you taken anything for it?”

She shook her head.

He made a sound of exasperation. “Why not? Are you a masochist?”

“I don’t like to take anything unless it’s necessary,” she defended.

“I’d say a headache deserves an Excedrin or two. I’ll stop by a drugstore on the way and get you something.”

Dumbfounded, she watched as he pulled into a CVS and parked at the front entrance. He glanced over with a regretful expression. “You probably don’t want to get out, but where I go, you go, so you’ll have to come in.” He switched off the engine. “Sit tight. I’ll come around.”

She was used to a certain amount of deference. People tended to fawn over her and kiss her ass. She didn’t have any illusions it was anything personal to her. You could be a complete asshole and be famous and people would still line up to bow and scrape. She wouldn’t lie and say she didn’t enjoy it. Who wouldn’t like being treated like a rock star?

But Connor’s consideration meant something, and she couldn’t even say why. Maybe it was because he wasn’t the type to give a damn about her fame. It was obvious he wasn’t impressed with her as a person. And yet he did things he didn’t have to do, and it gave her more pleasure than she would have guessed.

He opened her door and extended his hand. She slid her fingers into his, enjoying the warmth and strength of his grip. He helped her from the car and held her elbow so she was flush against his body as they walked inside the pharmacy.