Oh, Jake Pennlyon, I thought. I am going to fight for your son.

Jennet couldn’t make enough of him. The likeness between her child and this boy was apparent. Though one was fair and the other dark … they were half brothers.

No one in the Hacienda protested, although there was a tension all about us.

“They are waiting,” said Honey, “for Don Felipe to return.”

He came back three days after I had brought Carlos to the Hacienda. By that time the child had ceased to be afraid; he followed me but no longer appeared to feel it necessary to cling to my skirts. Under my treatment the bruises were beginning to disappear from his body and also from his mind. In a short time I hoped those miserable days of his early life would become like a bad dream that disappears with the light of day. That was what I intended should be.

Everyone was waiting for what would happen now. I sensed they believed that my brief show of authority was over.

Nothing happened all day. I was tense, starting every time a servant approached me, waiting for the summons. The one who was least perturbed was the one most concerned: Carlos. He had complete faith in me. Moreover, he had no idea of who he was.

It was early evening when Don Felipe sent for me. I was to go to the escritorio.

He rose as I entered; he looked impassive as ever; there was no sign of anger on his face; but then I had never seen any emotion there.

He said: “Pray be seated.” So I sat down.

I looked about the escritorio at the paneled walls and the emblem of Spain above his chair.

“You show great temerity in bringing the child into the Hacienda. You know full well who he is.”

“It is obvious.”

“Then you will know too that he is an embarrassment to me.”

I laughed angrily. “And do you know that you are diabolically cruel to him? For the last three days that child has been happy for the first time in his life.”

“Is that reason to flout my orders?”

“It is the best of reasons,” I said unflinchingly.

“Because he is your lover’s child?”

“Because he is a child. He is not my lover’s child. Jake Pennlyon was never my lover. I hate that man as much as you hate him. But I will not stand aside and see a child ill-treated.” I stood up, my eyes blazing. I was determined to keep Carlos as I had rarely been determined before. Someone had said of my mother—I think it was Kate—that when my mother had a child she became a mother to all children. Well, I was about to have a child. I had always been fond of children, but now I was ready to lead a fervent crusade on their behalf. Carlos had turned his appealing gaze on me—and even though I was aware of his resemblance to Jake Pennlyon every time I saw him I was going to save him from misery. I was going to make him a happy child no matter what the cost.

Don Felipe said: “You were betrothed to Captain Pennlyon. You would marry him.”

“I would never have done it. You see your plans for revenge have failed. I was betrothed to him because he forced me to it. He would have betrayed my sister and her husband if I had not agreed to it.”

“You are a defender of others,” he said, and I was not sure whether he spoke with a touch of irony.

“He has no compassion, that man. He would have forced me as he forced your Isabella. I eluded him although the betrothal was necessary. Later I feigned to be suffering from the sweating sickness until his ship had sailed. That is what I felt for Jake Pennlyon.”

He was looking at me strangely.

“How vehement you are! How fierce!”

“I have found it necessary to be so. But know this: You have no call to judge Jake Pennlyon. He has ruined lives through his lust; you will do so through your pride, and I believe one sin to be as deadly as the other.”

“Be silent.”

“I will not be silent. Don Felipe, your pride is so great that you have taken a woman from her home. You are guilty of rape. You have given her a child. Moreover, you have inflicted torture on the innocent result of another man’s lust. And all this to appease your pride. The devil take your pride … and you too.”

“Take care. You forget…”

“I forget nothing. Nor ever shall I forget what you and Jake Pennlyon have done to women and children. You great men! So powerful, so strong. Yes! When suppressing the weak and those who are not in a position to fight you.”

“I see little weakness in you,” he said.

“Do you not when I was forced to submit to your evil motives?”

“Tell me, were you not quickly reconciled?”

I felt a slow flush creeping over my face. “I do not understand you, Don Felipe Gonzáles.”

“Then we will dismiss the subject and return to the reason for my summoning you here. The child must go back. I cannot allow him to be here.”

“You cannot send him back … not now. It would be worse for him than before.”

“There! You see what you have done.”

I went to him and I felt the tears in my eyes because I was thinking of Carlos back in that compound with the evil woman waiting for him. I would humiliate myself a thousand times to save him from that.

I laid a hand on his arm. He looked down at me.

“You have wronged me … deeply. I ask you now. Give me this child.”

“You will have a child of your own.”

“I want this one.”

“You should never have brought him here.”

“Please,” I said. “You have ill used me. I ask you this. It is the only thing I have ever asked of you. Give me the child.”

He took my hand which I had placed on his arm; he held it for a moment and then dropped it.

He turned back to his desk. I went out of the room. I knew that I had won.

It was indeed victory. Everyone was expecting the child to be sent back. That night I was still fearful as I lay with him in my bed; but in the morning he was still with me. For two days I was anxious, but my fears were without grounds. Don Felipe had decided to let the child stay.

I warmed toward him. Once I saw him in the gardens and I spoke to him. I had the child with me, for he still hated to let me out of his sight.

I said: “Thank you, Don Felipe.”

“I hope you will keep the child away from me,” he said.

“I will,” I promised. “But thank you for him.”

I felt Carlos’ hand on my skirt and I took it firmly in mine and we walked away.

I sensed that Don Felipe watched us as we did so.

A few weeks passed. I was noticeably pregnant now. Edwina was taking on a personality of her own—she was a contented baby. I used to look at her in her cradle sometimes and think: Dear little Edwina, chuckling there, who has no notion that her father was murdered by marauding pirates and that her mother carried her precariously through terrifying adventures.

Carlos was already settling into the nursery as though he had lived there all his life. I had had a little pallet brought for him and it was placed in my room beside my bed. He was happy there although he would still come into my bed in the morning and I believed that at first it was to reassure himself that I was still there.

Don Felipe went away again and we resumed our normal life, but before he left he sent for me. I was afraid that he was going to rescind his decision to let the child stay, but I was mistaken. It was another matter of which he wanted to speak.

“I learn from John Gregory that you are not progressing well with your instruction.”

“My heart is not in it,” I told him.

“You are foolish. I tell you it is necessary that you become a good Catholic.”

“Does one ever become good at anything against one’s will?”

He looked at the door. He said: “Keep your voice low. People listen. There are some here who understand English. It would go ill with you if it were known that you were a heretic.”

I made an impatient gesture.

“I do not think you realize what benefit you enjoy under my protection.”