“My mother says they so admire themselves that they want to see a replica. That is why they want sons.”

Edwina laughed. “I simply don’t care. I merely want a baby. You’ll know how I feel one day, Linnet.”

There followed a week of pleasant friendship. The men were often together talking of ships and the trade they would bring throughout the world. My father took the Landors on to those of his ships which were in the Sound and they planned all kinds of alteration to them which would render them more suitable for the new project. My mother was very happy. I knew she had decided on Fennimore for me and she believed that before the visit was over an announcement would be made.

It was at the New Year that the frightening possibility had come to me. It could have happened. He himself had suggested it. I was not sure of course but I soon should be and what should I do then?

I feigned a headache and shut myself in my room. My mother sent Jennet up with a posset for me. Jennet was a very talkative woman and her conversation was full of hints about men. It had always been so. My mother used to say: “Jennet was made as she is. I suppose we can’t blame her.”

Jennet sat on the bed and held out the posset to me.

“There, Mistress Linnet, you drink that. It’ll give you a nice sleep and you’ll be right as rain.”

“Thank you, Jennet,” I said.

She brought her face close to mine and looked at me searchingly: “Mistress Linnet, there’s nothing wrong?”

“Wrong?” I said. “What do you mean.”

She blushed. She had always had a habit of blushing if her thoughts were indelicate and although she had been the mistress of many men she had the air of a virgin. I think that was probably what attracted them.

“Oh … nothing, Mistress. There was that gentleman at the inn.” She giggled. “My dear life, I remember when he came into the inn and would have his way. You could see he was that kind. Reminded me of the Captain, he did.” She used my father’s name with reverence. She was more proud than anything else that once he had got her with child. Jacko was the result. Jacko was her only child in spite of her numerous lovers. She went on giggling about the man at the inn and watching me covertly. “And then he rescued you. When I watched you being made off with and him after you … my dear life!”

I said: “I’m going to try to sleep now, Jennet.”

“Yes, Mistress.” She looked down at me. “And then he took you to his castle. ’Tis like an old tale of knights and ladies that the minstrels do sing of, I do declare.”

There was a dreamy look in her eyes which yet held a certain astuteness. I thought: She knows what has happened. Is it possible then? And the niggling fear was with me.

Twelfth Night came. This was the culmination of the festivities. The following day the holly and the ivy would be taken down and solemnly burned in the meadow. It was unlucky to leave it up after that.

We had the Twelfth Night cake and there was a great deal of speculation as to which of us would find the silver penny.

Fennimore was the lucky one. My father as head of the house announced: “I crown you Lord of Misrule till the midnight hour.” And the crown which we used every year was placed on his head.

My father, Captain Landor and two of the tallest of the menservants carried him round the hall and he chalked crosses on the beams wherever he could reach them chanting: “Protect this house from the curse of devils and evil spirits and of all conjuring and wicked charms.”

We played games. My mother had hidden treasure and we were to hunt for it in pairs. I was pleased when Fennimore, Lord of Misrule, chose me as his companion; and I could not refuse him if I had wished because he was King for the night.

We went off hand in hand, Fennimore holding our candle high, and I was aware that the eyes of my parents followed us with approval. I was sure that they had decided this would be a fitting time to announce our betrothal. Family ties would cement the business ones. I had to lead the way because naturally he did not know the house as I did.

My mother had devised the clues and the finding of one led us on to the next. It was a game we had played all our lives; and the treasure hunt was considered to be the highlight of any of our gatherings. It showed how they trusted Fennimore to allow me to go off with him as they did; for usually young people were paired off by their elders. Of course Fennimore was the Lord of Misrule and was supposed to have his way, but if someone like Colum Casvellyn had been in his place they would never have allowed it. Why did I have to think of that man so constantly? What a question to ask myself! How could I ever forget him? What a fateful, evil trip that had been for me. It would affect my whole life. How strange that one night could do that.

Fennimore said: “Are you cold?”

“No, no. It was just a passing shiver. Someone walking over my grave, as they say.”

And I thought: The grave of my innocence which is now dead but not buried deep enough.

He took my hand.

“Are we going to find the treasure?” he asked.

“That depends on how clever you are.”

“You are the clever one.”

“I? Whatever gave you such a notion?”

“I suspect it. You are a very unusual girl, Linnet.”

“Surely not.”

“I think so,” he said.

We had crossed the hall and mounted the dais. There was a door there which led into the small dining-room and sitting-rooms which we used when we were alone, for fashions were changing and in households like ours only on special occasions did people dine in the hall with all the servants seated below the salt.

We looked into these rooms and we were not very successful with the clues. I think our minds were not on the treasure hunt.

We mounted the staircase and went along the gallery. Fennimore sat down in one of the window seats and drew me beside him. He lifted the candle and looked into my face.

Then he set it down and said: “Linnet, there is something I have to say to you.”

My heart began to beat very fast because I knew what he was going to say and I wanted to stop him. I wanted him to wait until I had grown farther away from that night at Castle Paling. I wanted to know whether it would be possible for me to cast it right out of my mind, to forget it so completely that it would seem as though it had never happened. Until I knew, I did not want Fennimore to say what was in his mind.

He went on: “I am so happy that your parents and mine are going to work together. I admire your father so much although I am so different from him and I think he would rather I was more like he is.”

“Why should he wish that?”

“Because he is so adventurous and has led a life of great daring.”

“I gather he has not always acted admirably.”

“He is a bold captain. The Queen has complimented him. He is the kind of man who has saved this country from the Spaniards. That is why it seems so wonderful to me that he should now be ready to fight another campaign … a campaign of peace.”

“It is not necessary surely to be aggressive to succeed.”

“I do agree with you. But what I want to say to you is this. Our families will work together. Linnet, from the moment we first met I felt drawn to you. If your father had not joined with us, it would have made no difference to my feeling.”

I must stop him quickly. He must not go on and ask me to marry him … yet.

I put out a hand helplessly and he took it.

He raised it to his lips. Memory stirred within me. I could feel hot hard lips on my skin. Was I ever going to forget?

How gentle he was, how tender. I needed tenderness. What would I not have given if I could go back two months … My mother had said: “We will go by road, it is not such a long journey.” And I had been excited at the prospect. Then the scene in the inn and that nightmare moment on the road and later … that oblivion which was not quite complete and the experience which I had had no will to resist.