“What did you have? It’s all been rather mysterious. Was it consumption? If so, why not say so?”
“Grandpère says we should forget it and never mention it.”
“I see. People think that once you’ve had that, you might pass it on to your children.”
“Yes. That’s the idea. So not a word.”
“And they cured you here!”
“Well, not here. I had to go away. I haven’t been at the château all the time.”
“I gathered that.”
“I told you it was all rather secret. Grandpère’s idea. He arranged it all.”
“I remember I did get a letter from you with the postmark Bergerac.”
“Bergerac! I never want to go there again.”
“Isn’t it somewhere near here?”
“Well, some miles. I must have posted the letter when we were passing through.”
“Passing through…to where?”
“Oh, I don’t remember. I was rather ill at the time.”
“Why don’t you want to see Bergerac again?”
“Well, I want to forget that time…and your mentioning the place reminded me. All those places round about do. I had this terrible thing, you see.”
“It was consumption, wasn’t it?”
She nodded…and then shook her head. “I don’t want to say exactly…but…promise you won’t tell anyone I told you.”
“I promise. Was it Switzerland? That’s where people go. Up in the mountains.”
She nodded again.
“And they cured you?” I said.
“Completely. All I have to do in the future is…be careful. Grandpère says this is a warning. Once you’ve had this sort of thing…people are suspicious.”
“They think it can be passed on.”
“Grandpère thinks it could spoil my chances for the sort of marriage he wants for me.”
“What was it like in the sanatorium?”
“Oh, they were very strict. You had to do what you were told.”
“It sounds like La Pinière.”
She laughed. “But it’s all over and I want to forget it ever happened. I’m well now. I am going to be all right. I’m looking forward to going to London.”
“I expect your family will want you to be in the country with them.”
“Oh, Mama will want to be in London, I expect. As for my father and dear brother Robert, they’ve got their beloved estate to think about. They won’t worry about me.”
“I missed you, Annabelinda.”
“Don’t you think I missed you?”
“It must have been awful, so far away from everyone. I suppose your grandfather and the Princesse visited you during the time you were there?”
“Of course. They were marvelous to me. But I don’t want to talk about it. Please, Lucinda.”
“All right. Not another word.”
“And don’t forget. Don’t tell anyone about Switzerland. I shouldn’t have mentioned it to you, but you wormed it out of me.”
“I’ll be silent.”
“Good old Lucinda.”
A week passed. We rode a good deal, usually in the company of Jean Pascal. Visitors came to the château and there were one or two dinner parties.
I was longing to go home, but I found a great pleasure in walking in the grounds of the château. I liked to be alone there. I used to sit by the lake, watching the swans and the little brown duck who came waddling by. I would take a few crumbs for him and was amused by the way he would come to the edge of the lake and wait patiently for the offering.
Sometimes as I sat there I would think how strange life was, and would imagine my mother as a young girl, not much older than I was now, sitting on this very seat. There had been a black swan then. She often talked of it and how it defended its territory with venom.
How peaceful it was now, with the beautiful docile swans in place of the black one. And yet there were mysterious undercurrents…things seeming not quite what they were represented to be.
One early afternoon when I had been sitting by the lake and was returning to the château, I met the postman in the grounds. He was coming to the house with some mail.
He called a greeting. He knew who I was, for I had collected the mail from him before.
“Ah,” he said, “once more, mademoiselle, you have saved my legs. I am running a little late. Would you take this one for Monsieur Bourdon?”
I said I would and took the letter. It was a foolscap envelope with Jean Pascal’s name written on it in bold black capitals.
The postman thanked me and went on his way.
I thought Jean Pascal might be in his study, so I took the letter up there. I knocked on the door. There was no answer, so I opened the door and went in. The window was open and as I entered, a gust of wind picked up the papers that were lying on the desk and scattered them over the floor.
I shut the door, hurried in, put the letter I had brought on the desk and stooped to pick up the papers.
As I did so, a phrase on one of them caught my eyes. It was Jacques and Marguerite Plantain—10,000 francs.
I stared at it. There was some writing in French which I could not entirely understand, and the address in the letterhead was that of solicitors in Bordeaux.
Understanding flashed into my mind. It was as though pieces of a puzzle had suddenly and miraculously fitted themselves together and presented me with a picture.
“Interesting?” said a voice behind me.
Jean Pascal had come into the room.
I felt myself blushing hotly as he took the paper from my hand.
Then he spoke in a cool voice that struck terror into me. “What are you doing with my papers, Lucinda?”
I heard myself stammering. “I…er…I…brought a letter. The postman gave it to me because I was on the grounds. I did knock. There was no answer, so I opened the door. The window was open, you see, and the draft…the papers fell on the floor. I was picking them up.”
“Of course.”
He picked up the rest of the papers and put them on the desk. He smiled at me. “It was very helpful of you, Lucinda. And how good of you to bring my mail.”
I escaped and went out of the château, letting the air cool my burning cheeks.
Ten thousand francs to Jacques and Marguerite Plantain. It was clear. It was for taking the baby. Why should Jean Pascal want them to take a baby?
I should have seen it before. Carl and Annabelinda had met…secretly…they had been lovers. The result of lovemaking was babies. And Carl had left her to face the consequences. No wonder she had changed. How could I not have guessed? She had fainted in class. Madame Rochère had sent for the doctor and immediately afterward Jean Pascal had come. In his suave, sophisticated manner, he had known exactly how to deal with such a situation.
She had not been to Switzerland. She had been to Bergerac, which the map showed me was near enough for convenience and far enough for anonymity. Annabelinda would agree with everything her grandfather suggested. She would realize the wisdom of his instructions about the need for secrecy.
She had had a baby and it was the one in the Plantains’ cottage. And because Marguerite had lost her baby, she was eager to have another. Moreover she had been paid handsomely to look after him and would be paid regularly throughout his life. The child would ease her pain over her own loss and give her and her husband security throughout their lives. Annabelinda’s misfortune was the Plantains’ blessing.
Now that I knew, I could think only of the baby, who would receive from Marguerite that love and care which his own mother could not give him.
I felt overburdened by this dark secret. I almost wished I had not discovered it. I myself had a secret now. I must never let anyone know that I was aware of what had happened.
As I sat looking at the swans I heard the sound of footsteps, and my heart started to pound in terror, for Jean Pascal was coming toward me.
He sat down beside me.
“I am glad I found you,” he said. “I think you and I have something to say to each other.”
“I assure you I only went into your study to take the letter. The papers blew to the floor, and naturally I thought I should pick them up.”