“Sometimes. Our fights were over things like what movie to watch, or him being late to pick me up.”

He doesn’t look up from his hands. “Not like we fight, then?”

“I don’t think anyone fights like we do.” I smile in an attempt to reassure him.

“What else did you do? With him, I mean,” he says, and I swear that sitting in Hardin’s place on the bed there is now a small child, green eyes bright, hands nearly shaking.

I give a gentle shrug. “We didn’t do much, really, outside of studying and watching hundreds of movies. We were more like best friends, I guess.”

“You loved him,” the child reminds me.

“Not the way that I love you,” I tell him, just like I have countless times before.

“Would you have given up Seattle for him?” He picks at the rough skin around his fingernails. When he looks at me, his insecurity shines through his eyes.

So this is why we’re talking about Noah: Hardin’s low self-esteem has once again taken his thoughts there, to that place where he compares himself to whatever or whomever he thinks that I need.

“No.”

“Why not?” I reach for his hand to comfort the childlike worry inside of him.

“Because I shouldn’t have to choose at all, and he always knew about my plans and dreams, so I wouldn’t have had to choose.”

“I don’t have anything in Seattle.” He sighs.

“Me . . . you’d have me.”

“That’s not enough.”

Oh . . . I turn away from him.

“I know that’s fucked up, but it’s true. I have nothing there, and you’ll have this new job, and you’ll make new friends—”

“You’d have a new job, too. Christian said he’d give you a job—and we would make new friends together.”

“I don’t want to work for him—and the people you’d choose as friends are more than likely not going to be the same people I would choose. It would just be so different out there.”

“You don’t know that. I’m friends with Steph.”

“Only because you were roommates. I don’t want to move there, Tessa, especially now that I’ve been expelled. It makes more sense for me to just go back to England and finish university there.”

“This shouldn’t only be about what makes sense for you.”

“Considering that you went behind my back and saw Zed yet again, you aren’t exactly in any position to be calling the shots.”

“Really? Because you and I haven’t even established that we’re together again. I agreed to move back in, and you agreed to treat me better.” I stand up from the bed and begin to pace across the concrete floor. “But you went behind my back and beat him up, resulting in your expulsion—so if anyone isn’t in a position to call the shots, it’s you.”

“You were hiding this from me!” He raises voice. “You’ve been planning to leave me and didn’t tell me!”

“I know! I’m sorry for that, but instead of arguing over who’s the most wrong here, why don’t we try to fix it or come to some sort of compromise?”

“You . . .” He stops and stands up from the bed. “You don’t . . .”

“What?” I press.

“I don’t know, I can’t even think straight because of how mad I am at you.”

“I’m sorry for you finding out that way, but I don’t know what else to say.”

“Say that you won’t go.”

“I’m not making that choice right now. I shouldn’t have to.”

“When then? I won’t wait around—”

“What are you going to do, then—leave? What happened to ‘I never wish to be parted from you from this day on’?”

“Really? You’re going to bring that up? You don’t think an ideal time to bring up Seattle would be before I got a fucking tattoo for you? The irony isn’t lost on me.” He steps closer to me, challenging me.

“I was going to!”

“But you didn’t.”

“How many times are you going to mention that? We can go back and forth all day, but I really don’t have the energy. I’m over it,” I say.

“Over it? You’re over it?” He half laughs.

“Yes, over it.” It’s true, I’m over fighting with him about Seattle. It’s suffocating and frustrating, and I’ve had just about enough.

He grabs a black sweatshirt from the closet and pulls it over his head before slipping his boots onto his feet.

“Where are you going?” I demand.

“Away from here,” he huffs.

“Hardin, you don’t have to leave,” I call as he opens the door, but he ignores me.

If my father wasn’t in the living room, I’d chase after him and force him to stay.

But honestly, I’m tired of chasing him.

chapter

seven

HARDIN

Tessa’s father is awake now, sitting on the couch with his arms crossed in front of his chest and staring blankly out the window.

“Do you need a ride somewhere?” I ask him. I’m not thrilled with the idea of taking him anywhere, but I sure as hell despise the idea of leaving him alone with her.

He snaps his head my direction as if startled. “Um, yeah, is that okay?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I quickly answer.

“Okay, I just want to say goodbye to Tessie.” He looks toward our bedroom.

“Fine. I’ll be in the car.”

I head out the door, unsure of exactly where I’m going after I drop the old fool off, but I know it’s not good for either of us if I stay here. I’m so angry with myself. I know she’s not the only one to blame here, but I’m used to lashing out at people, and she’s always with me, making her an easy target. Which makes me a pathetic motherfucker, I know. I keep my eyes trained on the entrance to our apartment building, waiting for Richard. If he doesn’t come soon, I’ll leave his ass here. But then I sigh at the thought, since I really don’t want to leave him here with her.

At last, the Father of the Year steps through the door and pulls down the sleeves of his shirt. I had expected him to wear the clothes of mine that Tessa gave him, but he’s dressed in his clothes from yesterday, only now they’re clean. Damn Tessa, she’s too fucking nice.

I turn the volume up on the radio as he opens the passenger door, hoping that the music will halt any conversation he might try to make.

No luck. “She said to tell you to be careful,” he says as soon as he gets in, then buckles his seat belt like he’s trying to show me how to do it. Like he’s some airline hostess. I give him a small nod and pull onto the street.

“How did your meeting go today?” he asks.

“Really?” I raise my brow at him.

“Just wondering.” He taps his fingers on his leg. “I’m glad she went with you.”

“Okay.”

“She seems to be a lot like her mother.”

I shoot a look at him. “The hell she is. She’s nothing like that woman.” Is he trying to get himself thrown out onto the highway?

He laughs. “The good qualities only, of course. She’s very headstrong, just like Carol. She wants what she wants, but Tessie is much sweeter, gentler.”

Here we go with the Tessie bullshit again.

“I heard the two of you fighting. It woke me up.”

I roll my eyes. “Excuse us for waking you up at noon while you were sleeping on our couch.”

Again, I’m met with a chuckle. “I get it, man—you’re angry at the world. I was, too. Hell, I still am. But when you find someone who’s willing to put up with your shit, you don’t have to be so angry anymore.”

Well, old-timer, what do you suggest I do when your daughter is the one making me so goddamn angry? “Look, I’ll admit you aren’t as bad as I thought you were, but I didn’t ask for your advice, so don’t waste your time giving it to me.”

“I’m not giving you advice, I’m speaking from experience here. I’d hate to see the two of you end things.”

We aren’t ending things, Dick. I’m just trying to get my point across. I want to be with her, and I will be; she just needs to give in and come with me. I’m beyond fucking angry that she’d bring Zed into this shit again, regardless of her reasoning.