“I’m fine, Kase,” I said. “I’m sorry Mimi got you all worked up.”
She sighed and sat back. Then her phone started ringing. She glanced down at it and stood up. “Just remember,” she said as she walked away, “people want to help you.”
Then I heard her say, “Keat? Hey,” and shut the door to her bedroom.
I stared at the TV, not processing the images but letting them wash over me.
Maybe my sister was right.
Maybe it was time to ask for help.
I just couldn’t bring myself to ask her.
When I pulled into the Sacred Heart parking lot, Megan was waiting for me.
Seeing her used to give me a glowy moment of happiness mixed with relief—the security you feel around your best friend. But as the weeks went by, the glow had gotten dimmer and faded out faster. I didn’t know what we were to each other, but it didn’t seem quite like BFFs anymore.
She hugged me, beaming her Brighter Path smile. She looked flawless, as usual, her hair in a perfect frizzless ponytail, her makeup understated but pretty. But lately she was…different.
Like a robot. In fact, she reminded me a lot of herself as a Sunshine Club girl.
“Welcome!” she said, in a chirpy voice that made me wince.
Megan had bought, mixed, and drunk the Brighter Path Kool-Aid—then gone back for seconds. She was basically the group’s poster child; she was Brother Ben’s second-in-command, and she loved nothing more than to sing the praises of him and his stupid club until I wanted to tear my hair out.
We started walking along the tree-lined cobblestone path that wound through the campus. I tried to think of a way to bring up the superghost—but Megan did it for me.
“It’s so weird about that girl Ashleen,” she said, shaking her head and smoothing her skirt. “Do they know anything about what happened?”
“No, nothing yet.”
“It’s sort of…off, you know? Sneaking out in the middle of the night. Dying mysteriously.”
Could I really be hearing correctly? Megan was thinking about it. She was curious. Maybe she would be excited to hear what I had to say. And then we could work on this together—and fix it.
She clucked sadly. “I just can’t help but assume they were in trouble somehow.”
It wasn’t what I’d been expecting to hear. “In trouble?”
She had the grace to seem a little uncomfortable. “I mean…they were messing with things they shouldn’t have been messing with.”
I could tell my stare made her nervous, but that didn’t make me back down. “Are you trying to say that Ashleen deserved to die?”
“God, no! That’s horrible.” She swiftly spun away, but I knew Megan too well—her sharp denial was basically an admission. “Just that they probably weren’t being careful. So it’s not like it’s a surprise, that’s all.”
“Like girls who dress a certain way and get attacked and—”
“No!” She snapped the word at me, and I could see I’d broken through her smooth, composed exterior. She blushed hotly and sped up, walking a few steps ahead of me.
I caught up. “Let’s talk about something else, okay?”
She made an annoyed sound. “It’s not like you to deliberately misunderstand me, Lex. I meant more like…like Lydia. You play with fire, you’re going to get burned.”
Shockingly, I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “Lydia didn’t know any better. She didn’t deserve to die, either. Her death was a horrible tragedy.”
Megan shot me a glance that I couldn’t decipher. “Of course it was.”
“I need to show you something.” I knew it was a long shot. I even knew it was a terrible idea and even more terrible timing. But that didn’t stop me from pulling out the drawing of the dress and handing it to her. “Have you ever heard of a ghost that, like…flickers?”
She’d been studying the picture, but when she heard the word “ghost,” she shoved it back into my hands. “Why are you asking me this?”
“Just…no reason. Or…a ghost that can hold something? Like, in its hands?”
She turned to me, her body rigid. She swallowed hard and seemed to think before she spoke. “No, Alexis.”
Did she mean “no” as in, no she hadn’t? Or “no” as in, she was refusing to answer the question?
I pressed on. “What about ghosts who aren’t wearing what they wore when they—”
“Stop it,” she said, her teeth gritted. “Seriously. What are you doing?”
It was like a pit opened up in my stomach. Megan wasn’t going to help me. Not in a million years. Even if she had information, she’d never share it.
“Nothing,” I said. “Forget it.”
I started walking again, and she followed. But something had changed between us.
When she spoke, her voice was low and lifeless. “How are you doing? You know, with Jared and all that?”
“We’re fine,” I said.
She stared up at the spindly, leafless treetops. “I guess it kind of makes sense that you guys are together.”
My pulse quickened. “What does that mean?”
She gave me an uncomfortable glance. “You know, because you’re both sort of—”
“Girls!” Ben called. He was standing on the path up ahead. “We’re starting!”
“Sort of what?” I asked.
Megan gave her head a quick shake. “Nothing. Forget it.”
Brother Ben was waiting for us at the door. “Howdy, Megs. And Lex. How are we today?”
Carter and Megan used to be the only people who called me “Lex.” But considering Carter didn’t call me anything at all anymore, and Megan only existed in the context of these weird, stupid meetings…Brother Ben could have it.
But “Megs”? Five months ago, I would have assumed Megan would pulverize anyone who said it to her face.
Now she just grinned at Brother Ben. “Happy Tuesday.”
I started to take a seat in the fourth row, but Megan touched my sleeve. “Hey, let’s sit up front.”
I couldn’t muster the energy to protest. I just picked up my bag and moved to the chair next to hers.
Ben stood at the front of the room and began the meeting, then passed the contraband box, then opened the floor for discussion. A couple of kids got up and spoke, but the testimonials ended faster than usual, which momentarily put me in a good mood. I thought I might get a few extra minutes to spend with Megan in the parking lot. Maybe once the meeting was out of her system, she’d calm down and actually act like my old best friend.
But after the last kid went back to his seat, Ben gave Megan a nod that seemed to suggest they shared a secret. She glanced at me (rather ominously, I thought) and stood up.
Uh-oh.
“So today we’re going to try something new.” Her eyes met mine, and she gave me a bright, encouraging, and one hundred percent artificial smile. “It’s called the ‘hot seat.’ And it’s basically sixty seconds where you stand up and people can ask you anything. And you have to answer honestly.”
Oh, no. No, no, no.
A thousand times no.
“So, I was thinking…um…Lex? Do you want to go first?”
I shook my head. Nope. I did not.
She didn’t lose her plastered-on smile. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”
“Megan, no,” I said, my voice low—almost a growl.
Ben stood up, his whole face one big I told you so. “Well, Megs, I guess your sales pitch needs some work.”
People behind me tittered, more from a collective sense of discomfort than anything else, and Megan went red from her neck to her ears. As much as I couldn’t bear this new weird Megan, I also couldn’t bear to watch Ben make fun of her, knowing how she worshipped every word that came out of his stupid puffer-fish mouth.
“Fine,” I said, standing up.
Megan’s eyes were wide. “No, Alexis—you don’t have to.”
“I don’t care,” I said. “I’ll do it.”
Brother Ben rubbed his hands together like a villain who’s finally got the helpless damsel tied to the train tracks. No doubt he’d been waiting a long time to probe my evil brain.
Megan was already looking regretful. “Sixty seconds starts…” She hit the start button and let a couple more seconds pass. “Right…now.”