Lying on top of her, I press the weight of myself onto her to feel her softness beneath me. She runs her hands from my wrists, up my arms, and to my shoulders before she lets them fall above her head. Comfortable, as if she’s saying ‘have me.’ Taking the hem of her silk top, I slowly slip it off of her body and toss it onto the floor.
Everything about her is familiar, and I need the comfort of her as I use my hands to reacquaint. Sliding them down her neck, over her lace-covered breasts, and down her stomach. Her breathing quickens along with my pulse as I undo her pants and slide them down her legs. God, her legs. After discarding my pants, I return to her, pulling the sheets over us, needy to trap her heat to me. She slips her arms around my neck when I reach around to remove her bra.
The warmth of her naked body with mine, we linger in the moment, touching, kissing, and exploring what we’ve been missing with each other. I’d go through the ache of these past few months all over again just to be with her like this. Nothing compares to this feeling of peace that she’s able to give me. She’s the one who allowed me to find myself, and without her I didn’t know who I was.
Dragging my head down the length of her, I kiss my way back up her stomach, underneath her breast, and I slide my tongue over her nipple before sucking her into my mouth, pressing my tongue against her pert bud. She releases a heady breath into the air, moving her body as the passion takes over us. When I reach down, needing to reclaim everything we had taken our time working up to, I gently run my hand between her legs, touching her intimately. She doesn’t push me away when she lets go of a soft moan as I feel how ready for me she is.
Spreading her legs apart, I settle myself between the heat of her thighs. Gazing at her, naked beneath me, bared to each other and coming out of the agony that’s loomed over us, I see all I’ll ever want.
“God, you’re so beautiful.”
She pulls me down to kiss her, sealing her mouth with mine. Her kisses are deep and purposeful, laced with an intent that settles my heart in hers, filling up the joy that I’ve been without. She’s my happiness. She’s the light in my life and without her, I was lost, but now . . . having her giving this all back to me, it’s elated every part of my soul. We’re completely wrapped up in each other as I guide myself inside of her, never breaking our kisses. The connection is intense, both of us claiming the other as our own but in the most unselfish way a human can as we give ourselves entirely to the other.
Her grip tightens on me, and I push myself deeper inside of her causing her body to bow up into mine, head pressed into the pillow beneath her. As she rolls her head back, I drag my mouth up her exposed neck before I flip us over and sit up to keep our bodies close, with her legs draped on either side of me. Wrapping my hands around the back of her small shoulders, I press her down on me as she rocks her hips into me in response.
When she grabs my shoulders, she begins to slowly roll herself over me. My breathing is heavy as I drop my head down to her chest, kissing and sucking lightly. We move slowly, taking our time with each other.
Gripping her bottom, I guide her as she begins to stagger as emotions flood over. She tangles her hands in my hair and looks into my eyes as she begins to cry, but I have no worry because I know she’s safe with me. Vulnerable, exposed, but entirely safe in my touch.
Our eyes remain locked as I feel her body trembling on top of mine. She rocks her hips over me as she’s finding her release. And as my body parallels her, I reach the peak of my build.
“Let go, baby,” I breathe out and she drops her head to mine, eyes hooded, tears falling, but they never leave mine.
Running my hand up her damp back, she falls apart in my arms. Body quaking against mine, and I explode into a thousand pieces beneath her as our moans fill the room, taking every bit of pleasure we can while we continue to move with each other, my fingers pressing into her delicate skin as she writhes against me.
Movements begin to slow and she kisses me, pressing her face, wet with tears, against mine. The beating of my heart is strong, and my emotions are in overdrive when I focus on what just happened. Making love to the girl I thought I’d lost. It overpowers me as I lay us down, keeping myself buried inside of her.
With my lips on hers, we continue to kiss as I hear her whimpers, and I know she feels it too.
“Babe.”
Pulling back, she takes her time before choking out, “I never want to know what life is without you.”
“You won’t ever have to.”
As I keep her folded up in my arms, she cries, releasing the pain we’ve been through to get here. I let her get it out, and she eventually grows tired, falling asleep in my arms, the only arms I ever want her to have around her because it’s within them that she will always have a safe place to fall.
When I feel the bed shift, I begin to wake, and as I open my eyes, I catch a glimpse of Candace walking into the bathroom, wearing my t-shirt. I’m not sure what happened to make her heart shift back to me. The whirlwind of emotions when she showed up at my door a few hours ago are now replaced with sated contentment, but also questions.
I watch her flick on the light, but she doesn’t close the door. She stands there, and it isn’t until I step out of bed and walk up to her, that I see what she’s looking at. I couldn’t ever get rid of her things that I kept the day Jase came over to pack up her stuff. I had the necklace repaired, and it has always sat on the sink counter next to her bottle of perfume.
I slip my arms around her waist from behind and she stands there, running her finger along the etched words: And though she be but little, she is fierce. Her eyes meet mine in the reflection of the mirror before I tell her, “I could never let you go.”
I take her necklace and clasp it back around her neck, where it’s always belonged. Turning around in my arms, she rests her hands on my chest as she hangs her head down, saying, “I’m so sorry.”
Not wanting her to regret a single choice that she has made, I tell her, “Come here,” as I take her back to bed. I sit against the headboard and pull her next to me before asking, “What could you possibly be sorry for?”
“Leaving you. Hurting you.” She takes in a shaky breath as her emotions get to her and she tells me, “I hated every second I wasn’t with you. I wanted to come back . . . I was just scared.”
“I’m the only one who has something to apologize for.”
“But I get it,” she says. “It took me a while to see it, but I understand.”
We sit there for a moment, quiet, with her head rested against me when she finally says, “I feel like I have so many questions.”
“I know, babe.”
“I never knew we had so many holes.”
“So let’s fill them in,” I tell her as she looks up at me.
“I don’t know where to begin,” she says as she shifts down, and I move with her as we lie on our sides under the covers.
With her face only inches from mine, I brush her hair back and whisper, “I love you, babe. I don’t want there to be any uncertainty about anything between us. You can ask me anything, and I swear I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, but I also feel like I have missing pieces of you that I need.”
She nods her head and closes her eyes when she softly says, “I didn’t know anyone was there that night. That anyone saw me like that.” When she opens her eyes, she asks, “What happened?”
I know we both need to hash everything out, and as hard as this conversation may get, it’s one that needs to happen. I’ll spend days in this bed with her, filling in all the blanks, just so we can have nothing between us but fleshed out honesty.