38

His palms were sweating. Paul took a deep breath, trying to control his nerves. He wasn’t sure whether letting his feelings be known to Kate was the right thing to do, but to be honest he wasn’t sure if he could keep them to himself for much longer. He had to fight the urge he had to hold her when he saw her looking upset, although she did a good job of trying to hide it. At times he could see that she looked lost, and it took every ounce of his willpower to stop himself from wrapping his arms around her and telling her she would be alright. Yesterday, he had felt sure that now was the right to time to tell her, but today he wasn’t feeling confident. He was losing his bottle. What if she didn’t find him attractive, or simply didn’t look at him that way? Kate was nice and kind, she would never set out to lead someone on: she was just so sweet to everyone, what if the vibes he had picked up from her were just her being nice and nothing else? Paul was going to tell her how he felt and tell her about Sophia, his beautiful little daughter. He knew that he wanted Kate, but she would have to accept that he had a child. They were a package, but after everything that Kate had gone through losing her baby, Paul was not sure how Sophia would be received by Kate.

Pacing the room, he looked at the clock in his office, it was quarter to eight; even if he did call her to say not to bother coming in, he would probably be too late, she would probably have left by now. He quickly poured himself a shot of whiskey from the bottle he kept in the top drawer and gulped it down in one then made a note to calm it down on the drinking front at work, it was slowly becoming a habit and not one he intended on keeping. He liked to stay in control; after tonight, he was going to try and curb it at work. Drinking the whiskey, he was surprised that it did nothing to stop his nerves; he felt like a fifteen-year-old schoolboy going on his first date. Strumming his fingers on the desk, he glanced around as he waited for her. The place was immaculate, he had never seen it so organised. Normally there were piles of paper stacked up all over the place and falling on the floor, bills scattered amongst junk mail, scrap paper and e-mails. Kate had devised a great filing system, so everything from wages, stock takes and invoices all had their place and the whole club was running more smoothly. They made a great team, she was so good at the things he wasn’t. Paul had the contacts, the funds and the vision, but he had realised that he had needed someone to work alongside him, doing the organisation, event planning and PR; he was crap at that. He just hoped that by telling her how he felt, he wouldn’t make her run a million miles from him; the last thing he would want to do was scare her off; even if she didn’t want him, he hoped she would want to be part of the club.

Across town, Emma was winding Kate up as she was getting ready to leave. She had done her hair and makeup and was wearing a new white blouse that wasn’t too revealing but flattered her figure and looked very stylish.

              “Ooh, going in early for a bit of one-on-one?” Emma giggled.

Kate rolled her eyes but then grinned.

              “I told you, it’s not like that; I think Paul just wants to run something by me.”

              “Yeah, I bet he does,” said Emma sarcastically, winking. Secretly hoping that the two would get it on, they were clearly besotted with each other, she hoped that all her hinting and teasing would push the idea along a bit in Kate’s head. Paul Goldie would be perfect for Kate, Emma just knew it; he was a real man, a gentleman. Someone like Paul could show Kate that not all men were cheating shits; some of them were decent, with a backbone. Keeping her fingers crossed, Emma added,               “Perhaps he has an indecent proposal for you?”

              “Well, I’ll find out soon enough, don’t you worry, and when you get in to work later, I promise you’ll be the first person I tell.” Smiling as confidently as she could, Kate opened the front door but then glanced back at her friend.

              “Don’t get too excited though, hun, it’s probably just some event he’s planning, probably wants my opinion on it, something like that. See you in a bit.” Once the front door had closed, Emma grinned and shook her head.

Boy oh boy, they both had it bad.

Kate made her way to the club. It was only a ten-minute walk and the evening was gorgeous, the sun shining as it set and everyone Kate passed looking happy, it was funny how a bit of sunshine did that. Kate didn’t feel particularly happy, though, she felt anxious. She wasn’t sure what Paul wanted to see her about, and she had definitely felt that he had been acting very strangely towards her over the past few days, almost as if he was trying to avoid her, as if he felt a bit uncomfortable around her. Kate hadn’t wanted to worry Emma by saying anything, not now they had moved in and had the flat together, but she had an awful feeling that he was going to let her go, that he didn’t need her to work for him. She knew she had done a fantastic job, and she was almost sure that she hadn’t done anything wrong, but she just couldn’t be certain. She didn’t know what else could it be, and he had looked serious when he had asked her to come in before her shift. She also had heard him talking about a Sophia on the phone, and Kate had felt a knot of jealousy in her stomach at his tone. He hadn’t mentioned a girlfriend, and Kate had never seen him with anyone, but whoever this Sophia was she meant something to him, as he spoke her name in a tone that made Kate realise that no matter how she might be feeling, he liked someone else. There had been moments when she had wondered at Paul’s thoughts towards her, but she had believed that he was too much of a gentleman to mix business with pleasure, so she had not pursued the matter. Clearly he was a decent guy who looked out for her: nothing more and nothing less. Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was just gone eight; she picked up her pace: she wanted to get this over with, whatever it was about.

39

Arriving at the club, Emma was dying to find out how the little meeting had gone. She had her money on Paul declaring his undying love and sweeping Kate into his muscly arms, with them both running off into the sunset and living happily ever after: well, something like that. Kate had been supposed to text the minute the meeting was over, so that Emma could find out what had been said, but maybe it was a more serious matter than she had thought, or maybe it hadn’t gone well, as Emma had not heard anything. She wandered around a bit but didn’t spot Kate, maybe Romeo and Juliet were in a cupboard somewhere, having a bit of time out. Emma was early for her shift, so she decided she would grab a quick drink before she started. Plopping herself up on a stool, she asked Jake, the barman she had been working alongside for the past few weeks, who was a seriously funny guy, for an orange juice with lots of ice and gratefully sipped it while she caught up on the gossip of the evening so far. Then she spotted Paul coming towards her with the mother of all frowns etched on his forehead: it was not the look of a happy man. She felt a bit guilty that she was sitting on her butt, even though technically she wouldn’t be paid for her shift for another fifteen minutes. She wondered if he had assumed she was drinking alcohol while she was supposed to be working, and maybe that was why he seemed so hacked off. But as he approached her, she could see that he didn’t even seem to have noticed what she was doing.

              “Hey Paul, you okay?” Emma was a little concerned, as she could see Paul was very pissed off, and it was the last thing she had expected. She had thought after seeing Kate, he would be floating around the place, smitten.