‘What am I being measured for? A clown suit?’
‘That’s close,’ she said.
• • •
THE COLLAR BUTTON MAN lit a match, applied the flame to the bowl of his pipe, and there went the fond habit of puffing away to get the thing going.
‘Mrs. Kavanagh wants you to have an especially nice suit, Father.’
‘I have a nice suit.’
‘Where did you get it, may I ask?’
‘At the Suit Barn.’
‘That is not a nice suit. Trust me.’ The tobacco kindled, glowed. The Collar Button man smiled as if transported.
He had never taken a vow of poverty, but a bespoke suit? Throwing dollars down the drain. And what if he gained an ounce or two? Or more to the point, lost five pounds as he was hoping to do before Christmas?
There was no wiggle room in any article of bespoke clothing. It was made to fit the person one is right now, at the very moment of measurement, when only moments later, one would no longer be that same person.
‘Surely you won’t be tailoring it?’
‘Surely not! It will be done by a distinguished tailor in New York City, which will take rather a long while and be completely worth the wait.’
The Collar Button man drew on his pipe, exhaled. The cherry-scented smoke formed a minor halo above the proprietor’s head. ‘It will last a lifetime, and make your wife very happy into the bargain.’
‘Well, there you go,’ he said. ‘Measure away.’
• • •
THE CORKBOARD WAS EXPANDING its subject range.
‘The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions—the little soon forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment, and the countless infinitesimals of pleasurable and genial feelings.’ Samuel Taylor Coleridge
The countless infinitesimals. He had enjoyed these with great thanksgiving, and if preference could be had in this life, he would take infinitesimals any day.
Coot was dusting the rubber plant—a bloody nuisance which he would like to toss out the door. The garbage guys would be amazed to see the monstrous thing sitting on the sidewalk.
He called Hope. ‘I was wondering . . . what do you think . . . could we get rid of the rubber plant?’
‘The customer who gave it to me is still living,’ she said. That was a no.
‘So she visits the bookstore regularly?’
‘Only on occasion. She calls in her order and Scott delivers it to her door when he goes down the mountain.’
‘So . . . ?’
‘I think it’s not yet safe to give it away.’
‘Actually, we couldn’t give it away. Trust me.’
She laughed. ‘Whatever you decide, Father. I’ll leave the dirty work to you.’
While popping a few raisins, he had an idea. The red paint left from doing his basement door would give the faded pot new life.
‘If you could put a little polish on the leaves,’ he said to Coot.
He queried Marcie when she came in to place an order with their distributor.
‘I don’t know, Father. It’s not that bad now that Coot shined it up. It looks almost real.’
‘You think someone would give money for it?’
‘I wouldn’t go that far, but you never know.’
‘One man’s trash,’ he said, quoting a sign on a Wesley junk shop, ‘is another man’s bling.’
• • •
BRAHMS WAS THE COMPOSER of the day. Not the best pairing for Quo Vadis, but such was life. He dug the book out of his backpack and put it on the counter. Winnie had just arrived with a sugar-free cookie for the bookseller, ready to spend her fifteen-minute break with the poets.
‘Lord help,’ she said, ‘here comes Shirlene. It’s forty-eight degrees out there, she’ll be a popsicle.’
The caftan of the day was azure, as he believed his wife might call it. Printed with foaming waves washing onto a sandy shore and a random display of seashells. Somewhere around Shirlene’s equator were distant islands with palm trees.
‘I don’t know, I just don’t know,’ Winnie said to him, sotto voce. ‘Aren’t you freezin’, Shirlene?’
‘No, I’m burnin’ up. Flashin’ all over the place. But you know what I want, more than anything? For people when they see me to be reminded in their hearts . . .’ She lifted her arms; mountains rose from a tropical sea. ‘. . . that somewhere on the planet the sun is shinin’, the waves are breakin’ on the beach, and all is well with this troubled world. That is so important.’
‘Well, there you go,’ said Winnie. ‘You’re doin’ a service. Which I myself will be doin’ shortly by goin’ back to work.’
‘What’s up?’ he asked Shirlene.
‘Look at this, Father, an’ see what you think.’
She opened her book on dog breeds and laid it on the counter. ‘I can’t really find a picture of th’ dog I have in mind, I don’t know what breed it is. But here’s one I guess would be okay. I might go look for one like this at th’ shelter. What do you think?’
‘You will never find this breed at the shelter. Not the Wesley shelter, anyway.’
‘Why not?’
‘This is an expensive dog, not the sort you’d find in these hills.’
‘Expensive dogs get lost and run away, too.’
Winnie peered at the photograph. ‘You would have to go to Los Angelees, California, to find that poor thing wanderin’ th’ street. Maybe you should just go to the shelter and see what they have.’
And in swung Omer Cunningham in his aviator cap with earflaps, and Patsy on a leash.
‘Ooh,’ said Shirlene. ‘That is exactly th’ dog I am lookin’ for!’
‘This dog is taken,’ said Omer.
‘What’s its name?’
‘Patsy.’
‘Patsy! This is exactly the dog I would love to have. Look at its face.’ Shirlene stooped to pat Patsy—palm trees swayed. ‘Patsy, Patsy, I would sleep with you!’
‘She’s sleepin’ with me,’ said Omer.
Shirlene looked up and smiled. ‘Well, she is one lucky girl.’
‘Whoa,’ said Winnie. ‘I gotta get on my break.’
He was staying in the tall grass. He wouldn’t say a word, no, sir. Let them figure out the yard sale and Scrabble business, he was glad to get this thing off his hands.
‘Here you go, Father.’ Omer thumped a bag on the counter. ‘Russets and Yukon Gold.’
He examined a russet. ‘Beautiful! Prizewinning! My goodness, look at this.’ He said what people in his Mississippi childhood always said when given a worthy gift. ‘What do I owe you?’
‘Free as th’ air we breathe,’ said Omer. ‘Y’all like mashed potatoes?’
‘We do. Definitely.’
‘Drop a turnip in there. Cook it and mash it in with your potatoes. Adds a really nice flavor.’
Shirlene stared at Omer.
‘I’ve heard of doin’ that,’ she said. ‘But I never met anybody that does it. Do you use real butter?’
‘Yes, ma’am. Life is short.’
Patsy was straining at the leash and headed for the door. ‘Gotta go, Father. See you at th’ Feel Good. Patsy’s after a squirrel.’
And there went Omer.
‘Ohmigosh,’ said Shirlene. ‘Who was that?’
‘That? Ah . . .’
‘He was adorable.’ She went to the window and looked out. Omer was dashing across to the post office, Patsy in the lead. ‘Free as th’ air we breathe. That was darlin’.’
‘So, Shirlene, thanks for letting me transfer my certificate. I’ve decided what I’d like to do with it, and thank you very much, it was very generous of you.’
‘I wish you’d use it for yourself.’
‘I know, and I probably should, but I’m putting the certificate in the spring auction for the Children’s Hospital.’
‘Oh, that is so good. That is absolutely brilliant.’
‘Well, thanks,’ he said. ‘Are you spending Thanksgiving with your sister?’
‘I’m goin’ home to Bristol to see Mama and do her highlights. Who did you say that was?’
‘I apologize for not introducing you.’ Rude, indeed, but so be it. ‘That was the fellow you see in the little yellow airplane, headed south.’
‘I’ve never seen anybody headed south in a little yellow airplane.’
‘You’re probably working when he flies over.’
Shirlene gathered up her book. ‘So, when are we goin’ to have lunch with Homer?’