BERTRAM (aside) What shall be done to him? 175

FIRST LORD DUMAINE (aside) Nothing, but let him have thanks. (To Interpreter) Demand of him my condition, and what credit I have with the Duke.

INTERPRETER (to Paroles) Well, that’s set down. ⌈Reads⌉ ‘You shall demand of him, whether one Captain Dumaine be i’th’ camp, a Frenchman; what his reputation is with the Duke; what his valour, honesty, and expertness in wars; or whether he thinks it were not possible with well-weighing sums of gold to corrupt him to a revolt.’—What say you to this? What do you know of it? 186

PAROLES I beseech you let me answer to the particular of the inter’gatories. Demand them singly.

INTERPRETER Do you know this Captain Dumaine?

PAROLES I know him. A was a botcher’s prentice in Paris, from whence he was whipped for getting the sheriff’s fool with child—dumb innocent that could not say him nay. 193

BERTRAM (aside to First Lord Dumaine) Nay, by your leave, hold your hands, though I know his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls.

INTERPRETER Well, is this captain in the Duke of Florence’s camp?

PAROLES Upon my knowledge he is, and lousy. 199

FIRST LORD DUMAINE (aside) Nay, look not so upon me: we shall hear of your lordship anon.

INTERPRETER What is his reputation with the Duke?

PAROLES The Duke knows him for no other but a poor officer of mine, and writ to me this other day to turn him out o’th’ band. I think I have his letter in my pocket. 206 INTERPRETER Marry, we’ll search.

PAROLES In good sadness, I do not know. Either it is there, or it is upon a file with the Duke’s other letters in my tent. 210

INTERPRETER Here ’tis, here’s a paper. Shall I read it to you?

PAROLES I do not know if it be it or no.

BERTRAM (aside) Our interpreter does it well.

FIRST LORD DUMAINE (aside) Excellently.

INTERPRETER (reads the letter) ‘Dian, the Count’s a fool, and full of gold.’

PAROLES That is not the Duke’s letter, sir. That is an advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count Roussillon, a foolish idle boy, but for all that very ruttish. I pray you, sir, put it up again.

INTERPRETER Nay, I’ll read it first, by your favour.

PAROLES My meaning in’t, I protest, was very honest in the behalf of the maid, for I knew the young Count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whale to virginity, and devours up all the fry it finds. BERTRAM (aside) Damnable both-sides rogue.

INTERPRETER (reads)

‘When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it.

After he scores he never pays the score.

Half-won is match well made; match, and well make it.

He ne’er pays after-debts, take it before.

And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this:

Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss.

For count of this, the Count’s a fool, I know it,

Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.

Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,

Paroles.’

BERTRAM (aside) He shall be whipped through the army with this rhyme in’s forehead.

SECOND LORD DUMAINE (aside) This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold linguist and the armipotent soldier.

BERTRAM (aside) I could endure anything before but a cat, and now he’s a cat to me.

INTERPRETER I perceive, sir, by the general’s looks, we shall be fain to hang you.

PAROLES My life, sir, in any case! Not that I am afraid to die, but that, my offences being many, I would repent out the remainder of nature. Let me live, sir, in a dungeon, i’th’ stocks, or anywhere, so I may live.

INTERPRETER We’ll see what may be done, so you confess freely. Therefore once more to this Captain Dumaine. You have answered to his reputation with the Duke, and to his valour. What is his honesty?

PAROLES He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister. For rapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus. He professes not keeping of oaths; in breaking ’em he is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with such volubility that you would think truth were a fool. Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be swine-drunk, and in his sleep he does little harm, save to his bedclothes; but they about him know his conditions, and lay him in straw. I have but little more to say, sir, of his honesty. He has everything that an honest man should not have; what an honest man should have, he has nothing.

FIRST LORD DUMAINE (aside) I begin to love him for this.

BERTRAM (aside) For this description of thine honesty? A pox upon him! For me, he’s more and more a cat.

INTERPRETER What say you to his expertness in war?

PAROLES Faith, sir, he’s led the drum before the English tragedians. To belie him I will not, and more of his soldiership I know not, except in that country he had the honour to be the officer at a place there called Mile End, to instruct for the doubling of files. I would do the man what honour I can, but of this I am not certain.

FIRST LORD DUMAINE (aside) He hath out-villained villainy so far that the rarity redeems him.

BERTRAM (aside) A pox on him! He’s a cat still.

INTERPRETER His qualities being at this poor price, I need not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to revolt.

PAROLES Sir, for a quart d‘écu he will sell the fee-simple of his salvation, the inheritance of it, and cut th’entail from all remainders, and a perpetual succession for it perpetually.

INTERPRETER What’s his brother, the other Captain Dumaine? 285

SECOND LORD DUMAINE (aside) Why does he ask him of me?

INTERPRETER What’s he?

PAROLES E‘en a crow o’th’ same nest. Not altogether so great as the first in goodness, but greater a great deal in evil. He excels his brother for a coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the best that is. In a retreat he outruns any lackey; marry, in coming on he has the cramp.

INTERPRETER If your life be saved will you undertake to betray the Florentine? 295

PAROLES Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count Roussillon.

INTERPRETER I’ll whisper with the general and know his pleasure.

PAROLES I’ll no more drumming. A plague of all drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to beguile the supposition of that lascivious young boy, the Count, have I run into this danger. Yet who would have suspected an ambush where I was taken?

INTERPRETER There is no remedy, sir, but you must die. The general says you that have so traitorously discovered the secrets of your army, and made such pestiferous reports of men very nobly held, can serve the world for no honest use; therefore you must die.-Come, headsman, off with his head. 310

PAROLES O Lord, sir!—Let me live, or let me see my death!

INTERPRETER That shall you, and take your leave of all your friends.

He unmuffles Paroles

So, look about you. Know you any here?

BERTRAM Good morrow, noble captain. 315

SECOND LORD DUMAINE God bless you, Captain Paroles.

FIRST LORD DUMAINE God save you, noble captain.

SECOND LORD DUMAINE Captain, what greeting will you to my Lord Lafeu? I am for France.

FIRST LORD DUMAINE Good captain, will you give me a copy of the sonnet you writ to Diana in behalf of the Count Roussillon? An I were not a very coward I’d compel it of you. But fare you well.

Exeunt all but Paroles and Interpreter

INTERPRETER You are undone, captain-all but your scarf; that has a knot on’t yet. 325

PAROLES Who cannot be crushed with a plot?