Fair as a text B in a copy-book.

ROSALINE

Ware pencils, ho! Let me not die your debtor,

My red dominical, my golden letter.

O, that your face were not so full of O’s !

PRINCESS

A pox of that jest; I beshrew all shrews.

But Catherine, what was sent to you from fair Dumaine ?

CATHERINE

Madam, this glove.

PRINCESS Did he not send you twain ?

CATHERINE Yes, madam; and moreover,

Some thousand verses of a faithful lover.

A huge translation of hypocrisy

Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.

MARIA

This and these pearls to me sent Longueville.

The letter is too long by half a mile.

PRINCESS

I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart

The chain were longer and the letter short?

MARIA

Ay, or I would these hands might never part.

PRINCESS

We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.

ROSALINE

They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.

That same Biron I’ll torture ere I go.

O that I knew he were but in by th’ week!—

How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek,

And wait the season, and observe the times,

And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes,

And shape his service wholly to my hests,

And make him proud to make me proud that jests!

So pursuivant-like would I o’ersway his state

That he should be my fool, and I his fate.

PRINCESS

None are so surely caught when they are catched

As wit turned fool. Folly in wisdom hatched

Hath wisdom’s warrant, and the help of school,

And wit’s own grace, to grace a learned fool.

ROSALINE

The blood of youth burns not with such excess

As gravity’s revolt to wantonness.

MARIA

Folly in fools bears not so strong a note

As fool’ry in the wise when wit doth dote,

Since all the power thereof it doth apply

To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.

Enter Boyet

PRINCESS

Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.

BOYET

O, I am stabbed with laughter! Where’s her grace?

PRINCESS

Thy news, Boyet?

BOYET Prepare, madam, prepare.

Arm, wenches, arm. Encounters mounted are

Against your peace. Love doth approach disguised,

Armed in arguments. You’ll be surprised.

Muster your wits, stand in your own defence,

Or hide your heads like cowards and fly hence.

PRINCESS

Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they

That charge their breath against us? Say, scout, say.

BOYET

Under the cool shade of a sycamore

I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour

When lo, to interrupt my purposed rest

Toward that shade I might behold addressed

The King and his companions. Warily

I stole into a neighbour thicket by

And overheard what you shall overhear:

That by and by disguised they will be here.

Their herald is a pretty knavish page

That well by heart hath conned his embassage.

Action and accent did they teach him there.

‘Thus must thou speak’, and ‘thus thy body bear’.

And ever and anon they made a doubt

Presence majestical would put him out,

‘For’, quoth the King, ‘an angel shalt thou see,

Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.’

The boy replied, ‘An angel is not evil.

I should have feared her had she been a devil.’

With that all laughed and clapped him on the

shoulder,

Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.

One rubbed his elbow thus, and fleered, and swore

A better speech was never spoke before.

Another with his finger and his thumb

Cried ‘Via, we will do’t, come what will come!’

The third he capered and cried ‘All goes welll’

The fourth turned on the toe and down he fell.

With that they all did tumble on the ground

With such a zealous laughter, so profound,

That in this spleen ridiculous appears,

To check their folly, passion’s solemn tears.

PRINCESS

But what, but what—come they to visit us?

BOYET

They do, they do, and are apparelled thus

⌈ ⌉

Like Muscovites or Russians, as I guess.

Their purpose is to parley, to court and dance,

And every one his love-suit will advance

Unto his several mistress, which they’ll know

By favours several which they did bestow.

PRINCESS

And will they so ? The gallants shall be tasked,

For, ladies, we will every one be masked,

And not a man of them shall have the grace,

Despite of suit, to see a lady’s face.

(To Rosaline) Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine.

So shall Biron take me for Rosaline.

She changes favours with Rosaline

(To Catherine and Maria)

And change you favours, too. So shall your loves

Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.

Catherine and Maria change favours

ROSALINE

Come on, then, wear the favours most in sight.

CATHERINE

But in this changing what is your intent?

PRINCESS

The effect of my intent is to cross theirs.

They do it but in mockery-merriment,

And mock for mock is only my intent.

Their several counsels they unbosom shall

To loves mistook, and so be mocked withal

Upon the next occasion that we meet