“Bobby, go with your father.”

“We’re going to the still?” he asked.

Wyatt flashed Bobby a smile. “Wanna help me change a tire, boy?”

Bobby hopped off his chair and marched for the door as if to defend the fort against invading marauders.

“I can change the tire!”

“Of course you can.”

Wyatt gave me a glance of understanding and followed Bobby, who was already outside, raring to go.

Mother turned to me the moment the door closed, hands on her hips.

“What’s wrong with you today? It’s like you’re not even here!”

“Sorry, Mother. I just . . .”

You see, already I was feeling guilty. And then angry that I was feeling guilty.

“You just what? Stand up. Have you lost your mind?”

I stood and stared at her, feeling my face flush red.

“That’s right. You should feel ashamed.”

But it was anger, not shame, that heated my face.

“Well? Are you just going to stand there?” she demanded, expecting me to apologize.

I almost didn’t. But my habits had grown too deep, like roots that had worked their way into every cell in my body.

“I’m sorry.”

She eyed me suspiciously for a spell.

“You’ve been weak all day, haven’t you? In fact, you’ve been off since last night. I could see it when you went to bed. We accepted our blessing in baptism yesterday and you went to bed ungrateful and in a foul mood, didn’t you?”

I’ve been in a foul mood all week, I wanted to say. But I didn’t.

“You answer your mother when she asks you a question, Eden Lowenstein.”

So I did.

“Yes.”

“And you didn’t bother to confess?” Her face grew red. “What has gotten into you?”

“I don’t know.” It was a lie, but I was past feeling guilty for such small sins. My true demons were far more frightening and were tearing me apart.

“Well you had better start knowing!” Mother glared at me and for a second I thought she was going to blow up, something she rarely did.

“I’ve given you too many liberties, haven’t I?” she said. “All this business of you turning eighteen and I’ve let my guard down.”

“No.”

“No? I think yes. I think your head’s getting the better of you.”

I could see the wheels spinning behind her eyes. She was suddenly worried that I was going to ruin things for all of them, wasn’t she? For her and Zeke. All they wanted was my money.

“You’re hiding something from me, I can see it in your eyes.”

“I . . .” But I couldn’t form a response. Anything I said would be a lie, and I suddenly couldn’t bring myself to keep up the charade.

“You what? Speak up!” Mother snapped.

“I don’t know.”

“Well that’s a problem, isn’t it?”

“I guess.”

“You guess? You guess? You can’t do this to us, Eden! Not now. Not after all we’ve been through.” She began to pace in front of me, and concern replaced her anger. Genuine worry, I thought. She was as much a victim as me, but realizing this didn’t calm me.

“What do you think Zeke would say to this?” she demanded, turning on me.

It was the way she pulled him in to the conversation that pushed me over the edge of the cliff I’d been desperately balancing on.

“Zeke?” I asked.

Your voice is too loud, Eden.

“Zeke?”

You’re falling.

“Since when is Zeke more important to you than your own daughter?”

You’re shouting, Eden.

My face was hot and my breathing was coming quick but I was past making any attempt to stuff my emotions. It was suddenly all boiling over and I didn’t have the strength to stop it.

“Eden!”

“I’m not a straw doll, you know?” I snapped. “You can’t just use me to get what you want!”

Mother’s jaw fell open and she gasped. I had never raised my voice to her, and now that I had taken the plunge, I just kept going.

“Do you know what he did to Paul? Zeke beat him up. Smashed his face with his fist and cut him up! He brought Paul to the field and showed me, then threatened to hurt Bobby if I ever crossed him.”

You would think I had slapped Mother and sent her staggering back. Her face went from red to white, gripped by fear and shock.

“You went to the field without me knowing? How dare you!?”

“Of course I went to the field, no one said I couldn’t. And now I’m confessing that I let Paul kiss me on the cheek. There. Now you know, Mother. I went to the field and let Paul give me a kiss. Is that so bad? Of course it is! Do you know why? Because I have to do exactly what Zeke wants me to, regardless of how absurd the rules you two come up with are.”

“How dare you!”

“You have to keep me perfectly obedient, don’t you? It’s the only way Zeke can get his hands on the money! All he’s ever wanted is my money, can’t you see that?”

Kathryn was trembling.

“Blasphemy!”

“Of course it is. Anything I do that doesn’t make your life better’s blasphemy. You don’t love me. You’re only using me to take care of your own guilt and get your hands on my money.”

Kathryn gawked, speechless.

“Well, that’s too bad,” I said. “Because you’re not going to get my money and neither is Zeke. I’m going to undo what I did. I have thirty days to do that, and I’m going to tell them I’ve changed my mind.” I took a breath. “I’m not going to let Zeke use me like this. It’s not right! I don’t like that man!”

“Eden Lowenstein!” Mother shoved her hands against her ears, as if to protect them from my words. “You stop this right now! Stop it! The devil has gotten inside of you!” She shoved her finger at the hallway. “You go to your room right now and cleanse your mind of all this garbage!”

I hadn’t planned on saying any of what I’d said. Or undoing the power of attorney I’d signed. The words had all just come out. But having said them, I felt a surge of courage and I realized that it was exactly what I was going to do. I didn’t know how or when, but I could do it and I would.

That monster who’d beaten his son up wasn’t going to get his hands on that money. Neither was my mother, for that matter.

For the first time, I wondered if my mother wasn’t a monster too.

But I had the sense to know that saying any more wouldn’t help my cause. I wasn’t even sure what the full extent of my cause was.

So I took a deep breath, set my jaw, and forced myself to calm down.

“Fine,” I said. “I’ll do that.”

And I turned on my heel and walked to my bedroom.

19

KATHRYN STOOD silent in the kitchen, holding her head with trembling hands, unable to hold back the anger that washed through her like an ocean that threatened to drown her where she stood.

No, it wasn’t just anger. There was fear too, raw fear that was pitch black and ran bone deep.

How could Eden be so foolish? Not only had she rebelled, but Zeke knew. He’d smashed Paul’s face to show her the wages of her sin—a warning. And yet her response was sin heaped upon more sin, rather than humility and repentance.

The little fool had no idea what she’d set in motion, or what Zeke was capable of. Her pride was inviting disaster upon all of them, not just herself.

Stupid girl. Too blind to see that . . .

Kathryn stopped. Another thought came, fully formed, and she shuddered. If Zeke knew of Eden’s rebellion, he also knew of her failure as a mother.

You have to set this right, Kathryn. You have to set this right before Zeke does.

Mind spinning, she walked to the front door and pushed through it. The screen door banged shut as she descended the porch steps and angled across the yard. She had to think, had to find a way to fix this. Fix Eden and return her to the path of righteousness so that everything could go back to the way it was.

Eden was deceived. She’d been deceived by her own sinful nature and that nature was bent on devouring the good she’d cultivated in Eden all these years and replacing it with poison thistles and stones.