The death of their father had been a sudden' shattering blow. The illness of their mother had been a slow' lingering torture. Cooper's mind drifted away again, seeking memories of the times when they had all been together. It had only been two years ago, but it seemed like a century. It was called changing circumstances.

This time' though' he could not understand why he was finding little solace from the constant presence of his family. Their closeness seemed to create a weight of expectation which he no longer felt capable of fulfilling. They all thought he was a clever' popular policeman and never doubted for a moment that he was destined for great things. It was a burden that he could no longer live up to.

Suddenly it seemed to him as though everything in his life was going wrong' one thing after another. The solid planks he depended on were being kicked away; his hopes were being trampled on remorselessly, one by one. Why had the crisis with his mother coincided with the arrival at Edendale of Diane Fry? He couldn't get out of his mind the idea that the two things were connected. They were a joint assault on his private and professional life, and he didn't know how to cope with the effects they were having on his feelings' his moods and his judgement.

He had to admit that he had made a mistake in ignoring procedures to go after Lee Sherratt' and it had nearly ended in disaster — though he told himself that if Fry had not been with him, he would have done things differently. And then' out of the blue' he had found himself thinking about Helen Milner; he had been thinking about her ever since they had met for the first time in years during his visit to Dial Cottage on Monday.

In quiet moments since then he had speculated about the possibility that he had found someone he had enough in common with to think they could share a life together, someone outside the family. He had pictured himself introducing Helen to his mother, and knowing that she would approve. It was one of the two things that she wanted most — for Ben to find someone to marry; the other was her confident belief that he would make sergeant, like his father. Only that morning' he had been presented with an opportunity to renew the relationship they had once developed. But he had let the opportunity pass' and he had done it because of the job.

On top of that had come the humiliating fiasco with the compost heap at Thorpe Farm. He could imagine what was being said about him at the station. Within a few hours it would be the subject of gossip for every police officer in E Division' probably the whole county. The mountain he had to climb to be worthy of his father's memory was getting higher and higher. At this moment' it looked like Mount Everest.

‘You've just missed the appeal by the Vernons'' said Matt.

‘Yeah? What was it like?’

`Stagey,' said Kate.

Cooper nodded. He slumped into an armchair and stared at the TV screen without seeing it. His mind was a whirl of anxieties. He wondered how he was going to face going back into work tomorrow. And how he was going to face the visit to the hospital in the afternoon' which he had arranged to take time off for —the visit when his mother would be out of sedation. He didn't realize that Kate was speaking to him for several seconds.

‘Sorry' what did you say?’

Are you all right' Ben?'

‘Yes' I'm fine.'

‘I was asking if you were in for the night now. I'll make some supper for later, if you are.’

He couldn't admit that he found the idea of staying in the farmhouse for any length of time unbearable. There was a constant urge to go up the stairs and open the door of his mother's room' knowing she wouldn't be there. An urge to relive the worst moments of her illness as if it was some penance he had to go through.

‘Er' no. I thought I might go out for a drink. Do you fancy coming' Matt?’

He didn't fail to see the quick squeeze that Kate gave to his brother's arm' which communicated her feelings sufficiently.

‘No' thanks' Ben. I'll stay in tonight. I'm getting up early in the morning to shoot some of those rabbits in the south field. Maybe tomorrow' eh?'

‘Fine.’

Cooper got in the car and drove automatically towards Edendale. There were a handful of pubs in town which he went to regularly. But on the outskirts of town' when he saw the familiar landscape of stone gables and slate roofs spread out before him in the dusk' he changed his mind. He turned the Toyota into a side road and went over the hill into Moorhay.

The village looked peaceful once more. There were no tourists to be seen on the street, and no noticeable police activity, only a line of green wheelie bins along the roadside. The residents had retreated again behind their doors' some of them clutching their individual secrets' he was sure.

He drew up a few yards short of Dial Cottage and sat in the car for a while watching the doorway. It might have been the confusing light of the growing dusk, or the stress of his experiences during the day' or just his secret hopes acting on his senses. But he felt as though he could see Helen Milner emerging from the door of the cottage' just as she had done that morning — a warm' living glow against the inner darkness. He remembered that fleeting expression of disappointment when she realized she was not the one he had come to see. He remembered Gwen Dickinson's words — 'She's been talking about you' you know.' Could that be true? Had Helen been thinking of him, as he had thought about her? Cooper repeated to himself the last few sentences that had been spoken between them. 'So aren't you a policeman all the time?' she had asked. 'What are you like when you're just being Ben Cooper?’

‘You'll have to find out one day' won't you?' And then finally she had said: 'Maybe I will.’

He turned the words over in his mind; assessing the tone of voice she had used' trying to recall the exact expression on her face' the precise movement of her head as she turned away, seeking the subtle meanings. There would be a day, he promised himself. Definitely there would be a day' one when he wasn't being a policeman. But not just now.

He started the Toyota and drove a hundred yards further along the road to pull up on the cobbles outside the Drover. Inside' the pub was busy for a Wednesday night. But in their usual corner were the three old men — Harry Dickinson' Wilford Cutts and Sam Beeley. Their heads turned as he came in and their eyes followed him to the bar. As he was ordering' he heard a comment from one of them produce a cackle of laughter. He felt his jaw clench' and the blood start to flow into his cheeks' but controlled himself with an effort. He was not going to let the old men wind him up.

The landlord' Kenny Lee' tried to make conversation' but sniffed and turned away when he was ignored. Having paid for his pint of Robinson's' Cooper walked over towards the table in the corner. The three old men watched him come' their eyes expectant, but their mouths tight shut. Harry stood up from his chair.

‘Looking for me?'

‘Not particularly. I just called in for a drink.’

Harry looked disappointed' and sat down again. Cooper looked round for a seat and found a worn wooden stool. He could feel them following his movements as he pulled the stool up to the table' sat down and took a long draught of his beer.

‘That's good stuff,' he said. 'I thought it would be. But I couldn't try it while I was on duty.’

The old men nodded cautiously. Sam coughed and offered him a cigarette, which Cooper refused politely. 'Not many tourists in tonight' then?'

‘It's Wednesday'' said Sam.

He sensed the unspoken messages passing between the three men in the flicking of their eyes and the tapping of their bony fingers on the table. They were like a group of poker players about to take the shirt off the back of a stranger in town. But Cooper wasn't interested in what they weren't telling him. Not just now.