What's your money situation?

Not a problem.

Then you should take Winnypore's set, everything you can find —there're six items in total and you've got the Claws already. That's the coolest of the affordables. The rest is a bit out of your league. Besides, they're mainly no-drop, anyway.

Very well. I typed in Winnypore. The search returned nine items. When I got rid of the doubles, I was left with four: the helmet, the pauldrons, a cuirass and something that looked like a pair of steel boots. I dreaded to think what the Moon Winnypore was and what it looked like. Price per item: three to six grand. I opened an auction in another window and compared the prices. Oh well, the Vets' had it all at least ten percent cheaper. Would be nice to buy up a million's worth of their stuff and auction it all off. One or two hundred grand easy profit, no sweat. But that would be a total loss of face and reputation, a ripoff to end all ripoffs. We didn't need that, did we?

I gave my inner greedy pig a clip round the ear to stop him looking at me with those imploring puppy eyes. Then I scanned the stats, envying my own bear, and began buying up. I also needed to get him a pair of armored pants, four earrings, two gold chains and something to fit on his teeth a bit like those horror fangs they sell in joke shops for overaged teenagers.

I ended up brainstorming it with Eric, after which we found all the items we needed—apart from the set of teeth which I had to buy from an auction for no less than eighteen grand. But the teeth were worth it, from the first incisor to the last canine.

Mithril Fangs of the Flesh Eater

Item class: Epic

Weapon type: for combat mount only

Damage 96-117, Speed 2.9, Durability 230\230

Effect 1: Hole Puncher. Gives 20% damage probability completely overriding enemy armor.

Effect 2: Flesh Eater. When mount deals a deadly blow, part of the slain creature is devoured, restoring 25% life to the item owner.

There you are, Teddy—not a cute and cuddly toy any more but a carnivorous flesh-eater. I just hoped the effect was purely virtual and that he wouldn't have to chomp on all sorts of unsavory things.

I didn't forget Eric's requests, either. Unfortunately, they had only one Veil so I was forced to give it to him, even though my inner greedy pig kept making suggestive faces. But they had two sets of Pegasus Horseshoes which, beside a speed bonus which wasn't anything in itself, also offered an impressive +170 to hits. I took both hoping that the storage officer wouldn't start wondering about how many legs my bear had.

Now! Hummungus was fully equipped, tenfold more impressive than his owner. His stats looked more than respectable:

Riding Mount: Hummungus (Red Bear)

Level: 26

Strength: 185

Armor: 140

Constitution: 95

Claw power: 77-91

Maul power: 127-162

Speed: 10 mph

Rider: 2

Weight-carrying capacity: 9250

Special abilities: Armor Bearer, Arms Carrier, Mule II, Transporter

 

My Teddy had become a force to be reckoned with. Not that it hadn't cost anything. Even in real life, seven thousand bucks was more than enough to turn any wuss into a rather dangerous dude complete with bulletproof vest, a shotgun and two handguns under his belt. Add to it a couple dozen tactics and shooting classes, and our bullied-up nerd turned into a potential wonder waffle. That's a wuss, but here I had a combat mount initially created to eliminate everything that moved.

Now I could finally think about myself. Having said that, I had a whole kindergarten to take care of. I opened my guild settings. Cryl was level 13. Lena was a level-11 ranger. I rummaged through my bag and found a whip I'd won in that personal dungeon ages ago. That had been a brilliant find: good job I hadn't given it to Bug as promised. Not because I was too tight or something—no, I'd just had too many things on my plate to remember about it.

Then I made a mental note of setting ten grand aside for each of my new clan members' equipment. Wiping my sobbing greedy pig's face, I assured him that the gear was a loan that later had to be returned to the clan storage. To bring the sniveling creature back to its senses, I set up a clan tax of 10% off all loot and on every sale. Having said that, I seemed to be the only person to suffer from it for the time being. There isn't much in the way of loot when you're level 10. Having said that, I was the only one with access to the clan treasury.

That was it. Now it was well and truly my turn. First of all, I wanted some of the thickest and richest elixirs they had. Even there, my appetite met with dire reality: the Vets kept their vials in a separate Alchemy vault that had nothing to do with their regular storage. And I didn't want to push my luck asking for yet another access. I really didn't need to add any more stones to the already hefty weight of my obligations to somebody else's—albeit admittedly friendly—clan.

So I switched over to the auctions. They offered a decent choice even though I couldn't see anything truly rare, like Unknown Skill Elixir. After giving it some thought, I finally bought four skill elixirs and twenty characteristic-boosting ones. That should last me three weeks, considering the cooldown. I was eighteen grand down but didn't regret a single penny of it. With a clinking of coins, the fluttering of the bag confirmed the receipt of my purchases. I drank two vials on the spot: the mint and the lime-and-honey ones.

I invested one talent point into something I'd long been drooling over but every time had to forgo it in favor of combat skills. A group teleport was something that neither Necro nor Death Knight had; what they did have was an advanced personal one that started at level 30 and allowed you to take your mount and your pet with you. And now I could finally acquire one, too. No more leaving my pets behind in dungeons! My inner greedy pig was still clutching at his heart every time he remembered the Plague Panther, all leveled up and dripping with abilities, that I'd had to abandon in that personal dungeon.

I habitually moved the one available characteristic point to Intellect. I'd done so every time, sharing all the points received between Intellect and Spirit at a ratio of two to one.

Right. What next? It was probably a good idea to set aside a particular sum I could afford. In hindsight, I should have done so before I'd even started buying. Never mind. Let's look at it in another way. I didn't really want to break into the million. Like a single large note in your wallet, it would resist being changed for the dubious pleasure of getting a few penny objects. I had to set aside another fifty grand for various operating costs I could already see coming. By doing a bit of some preschool subtraction, I was left with about eighty grand. Almost as much as I'd just spent on my own mount. Yeah, right.

What was worth keeping of the gear I already had? Honestly, considering the sum I had to play with, I really should upgrade everything I owned. I hadn't made any improvements to my gear since the tournament at the Vets' when it had been appraised at six grand. When you compared it to eighty, all that was left to do was gasp and crumble in a heap on the floor in silent ecstasy.

Still, there were a few things I wasn't prepared to swap quite yet. Staff of Dark Flame, Crown of the Overlord and Jangur's Battle Shield had to stay. The Crown I'd never sell, ever—I needed it as a unique tool for some specific tasks. But no one said I had to wear it all the time, so nothing prevented me from getting some new head gear provided I found something in the same league. The jewelry had to go to the clan vault, a.k.a. my bedside cabinet, at least until the clan finally got itself some kind of fixed abode.