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I cannot go to her, not even when she draws close enough to hear her laugh. If she saw me, I think I would shatter. Would there be guilt in her eyes? Awkwardness? Am I a shadow over her happiness? Will she even care that I see her with him? Or will she think me pathetic for approaching her?

It aches, not that I suspect Mustang is being petty in seeking my enemy, but because I know she is not petty. If she is with Cassius, it is because she cares for him. It aches deeper than I thought it would. I work on breathing.

“And so you see …” Karnus’s hand falls heavily on my shoulder, “… you are not wanted here.”

Tightness spreads through my chest as my shoulders carve a path out of the gala. I take a smaller lift down, away from these people who know only how to hurt. Away into the woods where the violinists play to one another till I find a bridge that spans a fast flowing stream. I lean over the polished railing, gasping for air, each breath a statement.

I do not need Mustang.

I do not need any of these greedy creatures.

I’m done with their games of power.

Done with trying to go it on my own.

I was not good enough to be a husband.

Not good enough to be a Gold.

Now I’m not good enough for Mustang.

I’ve failed to do what I set out to do.

Failed to rise.

But I won’t fail now. Not now.

I take the ring. Hand trembling. Nerves stampeding inside me. I want to retch, there’s so much wrong inside of me. I take the cold ring to my lips. Say the words and the corrupt perish. Say “break the chains” and Victra vanishes. Cassius evaporates. Augustus melts. Karnus dissolves. Mustang dies. Across the Solar System, bombs ripple and Red rises to an uncertain future. Trust in Ares. Just trust he knows what he is doing.

Break the chains.

Break the chains.

I try to say the words, Eo’s last before she hanged. But they do not come. Force it out. Dammit. Make my mouth work. But it won’t. It can’t, because inside I know that this is wrong. It isn’t the violence. It isn’t compassion for the people I would kill. It’s anger.

They reject me at every turn. I know it was never meant to be fair. It is a corrupt Society and that is why it must be destroyed. But I am a human. I still want them to respect me. But they don’t. And nothing I do will make a damn bit of difference about it. I will always be a Red. Always be less than them in their eyes, even after I destroy them. It’s only now, only in this moment that I realize how desperately I wanted to believe I could beat them at their own games. I wanted to prove that I was as good as any of them. That a Red could rise above these bastards.

Killing them proves nothing. It solves nothing.

How could this be Ares’s plan?

Eo said if I rose, others would follow. But I’ve not yet risen. I’ve not yet done as she asked of me. I do not have an excuse to give up. To hand over her dream to others. Ares never knew Eo. He never saw the spark in her. I did. And my charge is to spread her love. Before I draw my last breath, I must build the world she wanted to raise a child in. That was her dream. That was why she sacrificed everything. And I will not let others decide my fate. Not now. Not if it makes me reject Eo, not if it make me sacrifice my trust in myself.

I wipe the tears from my face, anger replaced by purpose.

There is another way. A better way. I have seen the cracks in their Society, and I know what I must do. I know what the Golds most fear. And it has nothing to do with Reds rising. It has nothing to do with bombs or plots or revolution. What terrifies the Golds is simple, cruel, and as old as mankind itself.

Civil war.

Red Rising _6.jpg

THE WILLOW

I stalk back into the gala.

The Golds have taken their seats and formalities have begun in earnest. I am not subtle as I duck beneath the table and scrounge around on the ground to find the Pegasus pendant. I put it in my pocket. Straighten my jacket. Ignore the questioning glances and move boldly away from Augustus’s table toward the object of my interest. Pliny hisses my name. I pass him by. I blow him a kiss. He knows nothing of what I have in store. Pliny is a man to make rules. I’m more the breaking type.

I weave through the tables that seat the noble families, gathering eyes as a stone rolling down the mountain gathers snow. I feel them adding to my velocity. My gait is careless, my hands coiled with danger, like the muscles of a pitviper. Thousands watch me. Whispers form a cloak behind me as they realize my target; he sits at his long table surrounded by his family members—a perfect Golden man attentively listening to his Sovereign speak. She preaches of unity. Order and tradition are of paramount importance. No one rises yet to challenge me. Perhaps they don’t understand. Or perhaps they feel the force of me now and dare not rise.

The Bellonas notice the whispers now, and they turn, almost as one, a family of fifty and more, to see me—a martial man. All in black. Young, untested in war. Unblooded beyond the halls of the Institute and the asteroids of the Academy. Some have reasoned me mad. Some have called me brave. Tonight, I’m both. The weight is gone. All the pressure I let crush me as I worried about expectations, as I gentlefooted around making a decision. Keep moving, I tell myself. Don’t freeze. Don’t stop. Never stop.

The Sovereign’s voice falters now.

Too late to go back. I dive in.

Smile.

And the gala goes dead silent as I spring thirty feet in the low gravity and land hard on the Bellona table. Dishes crack. Servers scatter. Bellonas fall back. Some shout at me. Some do not move even as their wine spills. The Sovereign watches, struck by curiosity. Pliny looks about to die. He’s gripping his knees in panic. Beside him, the Jackal is as strange and unreadable as a lonely desert creature.

I did not wear dress shoes tonight. I never do. My boots are thick and heavy. They crack the porcelain as I trod along the Bellona table, shattering dishes of pudding and squishing tender steaks despite the low gravity. My blood pumps through me. Intoxicating. I lift my voice.

“I’ll have your attention.” I crush a plate of peas underfoot.” You may know me,” I call to the thousands in assembly. There’s nervous laughter. Of course they know me. They know everyone of worth, though mine is more of rumor than substance. I see the Ash Lord whispering to the Sovereign. See Tactus laughing his ass off, choking for breath. Karnus leans forward with a cruel smile. Victra’s in heat. Even see Antonia nudging a tall, serene Gold. I avoid looking at Mustang. Pliny gibbers in Augustus’s ear. Augustus raises a hand to shut him up. “Do I have your attention?” I ask.

Yes. I do.

“Boy, sit down!” someone shouts.

“Make him,” Tactus replies drunkenly. “No? That’s what I surmised!”

“For those of you who do not know, I am a lancer of the House of Augustus, for another hour or so.” They laugh. “I am the one they call the Reaper of Mars, who struck down a Proctor, who stormed Olympus. My name is Darrow au Andromedus, and I have been wronged.

“We Peerless come from Golden ancestors. From conquerors with spines of iron. Honorable men, honorable women. But before you today, I see a family that is dishonorable. A family with spines made of chalk. A corrupt and fraudulent family of liars and cowards that conspires to steal my master’s Governorship, illegally.”

I crush a serving plate with my boots. Who knows if they conspire to do it or not? It sounds good. It seems like they conspire. And it’s the mask I need them to wear. Karnus replies beautifully by whipping out his razor and surging toward me. His father, the Imperator, waves him back. Praetor Kellan looks about to grab my feet and jerk me down where Cagney would no doubt cut my throat. The younger girls of their family think me a demon. A demon that killed their cousin, brother. They have no idea what I really am. But perhaps Lady Bellona does. Cadaverous in her grief, she sits surrounded by her brood like a withered lioness. They look to her as much as to her husband. The last thing I note of her is the trembling of her long right hand, as though it aches for a knife with which to cut me.