Let me just say ugh to in-house and all other weird ineffective high school punishment systems that stick good kids in a study hall with frequent offender/gang members. Like that’s not gonna just cause more problems?

Anyway, I’d made it about halfway to the stables when Thanatos seemed to materialize from the shadows beside the sidewalk, making me jump and put my hand over my heart to be sure it didn’t pound from my chest.

“I did not mean to startle you,” she said.

“Yeah, well, it’s been a spooky kind of a day,” I said, and then remembering how the wind had swirled around her when she’d gotten pissed at Dallas, I added, “Hey, do you have an air affinity?” She lifted a brow at me, and I also remembered how super scary and powerful she was and said, “Unless it’s none of my business. I don’t mean to sound rude or anything.”

“It is not rude to ask, and my closeness with air is no secret. It is not a true affinity. I cannot call the element, though it often manifests when I have need of it. I have long thought that air stays close to me because of my true affinity.”

“Death?” Now I was really curious. “I’d think spirit would stay close to you because of your affinity.”

“That does seem logical, but my affinity has only to do with helping the dead pass on, and sometimes soothing the living who have been left behind.” We walked slowly, falling into an easy rhythm beside one another as we talked. “The dead move like the wind, or at least they do as they manifest to me. They are ethereal, diaphanous. They appear to have no real substance, though they are, indeed, very real.”

“Like wind,” I said, understanding. “It’s real. It can move things. But you can’t see it.”

“Exactly. Why do you ask about air?”

“Well, it’s been acting kinda crazy today. I wondered if you felt anything weird going on with it.”

“As in it being manipulated?”

“Yeah, definitely,” I said.

“No, I could not say that I have felt air being manipulated.” She glanced up at the branches of the closest tree where the wind, gently, lazily, had them swaying in time to a slow, silent tune. “Seems all is quiet now.”

“Yeah, it does.” And I wondered if maybe it wasn’t the element air that was responsible for the branch almost smooshing me. Don’t be so darn paranoid, I reminded myself firmly. Then Thanatos’s next words wiped all thoughts of weird wind and paranoia from my mind.

“Zoey, I must ask you two things: first a question, and then your forgiveness.”

“You can ask me anything you want.” But I’m gonna be careful about how I answer you, I added to myself silently. “And I don’t know why you’d need my forgiveness.”

“The question first, then I shall explain. I would like to ask that you join me in a class discussion tomorrow.” She held up her hand to stop me as I opened my mouth to answer her with an “okay, whatever.” “You should know the discussion will be about recovering from the death of a parent.”

All of a sudden my throat felt really dry. I swallowed and then said, “That’s gonna be hard for me to talk about ’cause I haven’t gotten over my mom’s death.”

Thanatos nodded and then, not unkindly, said, “Yes, I realize that. But there are several other students who have also not recovered from losing a parent, though yours is the only loss, thus far, due to death.”

“Huh?”

“Three other students asked the same question as did you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You must know it is a universal experience for those of us who complete the Change. We are not immortal, but we will outlive our human parents. Many of us choose to sever ties with the mortals from our childhood early in our vampyre lives. That seems to make the eventual loss less painful. Some of us maintain relationships with the people from our past—for some of us that makes the loss less painful.”

“But it’s not like either of those things for me. I’m not a vampyre, and my mom was killed—she didn’t just die of old age.”

“Were you very close to your mother?”

I blinked hard, not wanting to cry. “No. Not for the past three years.”

“So, is your biggest struggle the manner of her death?”

I thought carefully about her question before I answered Thanatos. “I think that is part of it. I think knowing exactly what happened to her would help me have closure. But there’s also the fact that now that she’s gone, there’s no chance she and I will be close again.”

“But that chance is only over for you and her in this lifetime. If she waits in the Otherworld you could reunite there,” Thanatos said. “Did she know the Goddess?”

I smiled, this time through my tears. “Mom didn’t know Nyx, but Nyx knew my mom. The Goddess sent me a dream the night she died. I saw Mom being welcomed to the Otherworld.”

“Well, then, that sadness should be alleviated from your spirit. All that remains is the uncertainty surrounding her death.”

“Her murder,” I corrected her. “Mom was killed.”

There was a long silence and then she asked, “Exactly how was your mother killed?”

“The police say by druggies who were ripping off my grandma’s house. Mom was there and got in the way.” My voice sounded as hollow as I felt.

“No, I mean how was she killed? What were her wounds?”

I remembered Grandma saying that her murder had been vicious, but that Mom hadn’t suffered. I also remembered the shadow that had passed over Grandma’s expression when she’d told me about it. I swallowed hard again. “It was violent. That’s all Grandma told me.”

“Your grandmother saw her body?”

“Grandma found her.”

“Zoey, is there any way your grandmother would speak with me about your mother’s murder?”

“I’m sure she’d talk to you. Why? What good would that do?”

“I do not want you to become overly hopeful, but if a death is very violent the very fabric of the earth is sometimes imprinted and I can access those images of death.”

“You could see how Mom was killed?”

“Perhaps. Only perhaps. But I need to question your grandmother first to know if it might even be possible.”

“I can’t guarantee how much Grandma will say. Right now she’s observing the seven days of ritual cleansing after a death.” In response to Thanatos’s questioning look I explained. “Grandma’s a Cherokee Wise Woman. She keeps the ancient religion and its ways.”

“Then it is important that I speak with her immediately if there is any hope of resurrecting the images from your mother’s death. How many days have passed since her murder?”

“She was killed last Thursday night.”

Thanatos nodded. “Tomorrow will be the fifth night since her death. I need to speak with your grandmother today.”

“Okay, well, I’d take you out to the lavender farm, but I know she doesn’t want anyone out there until it’s cleansed.”

“Zoey, does your grandmother not have a cell phone?”

“Uh, yeah. You wanna call her?”

Thanatos’s lips tilted up. “It is the twenty-first century, even for me.”

Feeling like a moron, I rattled off Grandma’s cell number while Thanatos put it in her iPhone.

“I will call her, but I would rather do so alone.”

Thanatos’s look said she really didn’t want me to hear the kind of questions she was gonna ask Grandma, and I quickly nodded. “Yeah, I understand. That’s okay with me. I need to get to sixth hour anyway.”

“May I ask your forgiveness first?”

“Yeah, sure. But what for?”

“I told an untruth earlier. I would ask your forgiveness for it, and I would also ask that you keep what I am about to tell you close to your heart. Do not even share it with your Warrior or your best friend.”

“Okay. I’ll keep it secret.”

“When Stark asked if I could see the Darkness that surrounds Neferet and Dallas’s red fledglings, my answer was a lie.”

I blinked. “You mean you can see Darkness?”

“I can.”

I shook my head. “You need to ask Stark and Rephaim and Stevie Rae for forgiveness, too. They’re the ones who can see Darkness with you—they’re the ones the lie would hurt most.”